How to deal with ‘hello beautiful’

[Sunflowersandspiders]

A man in my office has started saying ‘hello beautiful’ to me when I see him. It seems to be a common schtick for him that he deploys on lots of women I work with. It makes me uncomfortable, I want it to stop, but I don’t know what to say. ‘Hi John, do you mind not commenting on my appearance please?’

At the moment I’m avoiding him, trying not to walk past his desk, no eye contact if he walks past mine. Probably can’t be sustained eternally.

Sidebar: why do men do this? Control? I am so tired of having to navigate this shit in the workplace.

Fuck off ugly.

Yes. I think they're the kind of libertarians with MAGA baseball caps and a similar attachment to opinions as 'facts'.

That sounds like a good example of that approach …

Some people wouldn't be bothered by this, but some people are and you don't get to tell people what they can and can't be comfortable with.
Personally I'd tell him he wasn't being very professional and that you'd prefer to stick to a more formal greeting. If he carried on then you'd have to take it further.

I have zero issue with this. I really think you're overthinking it and I hate that we live in a world where we have to worry about offending someone with every word we say.
Having said that, you are offended so you should tell him. I don't think there any need to be rude because I strongly don't think he's knowingly done anything wrong. So a simple "hey I prefer you not call me that please".

Good luck surviving in life!!!!

If you're not offended and wouldn't care, bully for you.

What I can't compute about threads like this is the level of pressure exerted on those women who do care, to simply suck it up in order to spare the 'poor men's' feelings, or to suggest that the assertion of appropriate professional boundaries is in anyway sensitive or weak.

It's the opposite. Conversely, it's those who tolerate this antediluvian bullshit who are weak.

You don't get to decide others' boundaries for them. We are more than capable of asserting those for ourselves. But who needs sad, inappropriate men to maintain The Patriarchy when so many handmaidens are ever-ready and willing to do so for them?

Honestly, this wouldn’t bother me and I am very strong. If he comes across as a okay bloke fine. If he is a pervert type he we n I would just tell him to not to, as in “thanks for the compliment but Rita is fine”

Next time he says it I’d say ‘ knock the hello beautiful on the head now John it’s getting boring, be a good lad and don’t say it to me again’

You need to tell him to stop saying it. If he doesn’t then escalate to HR

“Hello [insert general observation about his appearance]. Oh, sorry I thought we were making reference to each others’ physical appearance.”

In all honesty, if it’s bothering you raise it with HR.