When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

@JLT24

Can you describe how they managed you out if it's not too outing.

@Manthide

Never go above and beyond for an employer. Making sure that your face fits is more important.

Replaced me whilst I was on sick leave with a ‘temporary cover’ who they made permanent, so when I returned I was practically begging for work for over a year

Made project plans (a big part of my role) and didn’t assign me any responsibilities/tell me the projects were happening

Gradually removed all of my direct reports to report to other people

Didn’t invite me to important meetings, manager away days etc I would find out about them afterwards

Didn't set me up on new systems again I would find out about them after the rest of the team had been set up and trained

One of my direct reports questioned my boss on the changes and he said I was too unwell to be assigned any responsibilities (I wasn’t and I was present at work not off sick)

Ignored requests for support relating to my health

@JLT24

That's sounds like constructive dismissal to me .

I was on this thread in January. I knew I was under appreciated then but it got worse and I resigned in August, finishing in a couple of weeks!

Final straw for me was when I was literally at breaking point and I got told off for crying in my office with the door shut and at the same time told I wasn’t sick so why would I not come to work!

My boss went from a 1:1 where I informed her I was resigning to someone else’s office to try and persuade them to take over🤣

I don’t care, best decision I ever made!

Around 28.

It was after my step dad had a stroke and his company/boss completely turned their back on him. He loved that job, had recently had a very big promotion & had worked there for years always going above and beyond.

The problem is that experiences like these ruin your professional confidence. How have the posters who resigned coped in the new roles?

Oh it was. I sought legal advice and it was clear disability discrimination. I took them to a tribunal.

Just an update from the OP-

This summer went from bad to worse and without going into more details it has been car crash. The job I loved is no more and I I have been bitter and grieving for what was once an important part of my life for 25+ years.

I am also angry that the current culture is when you are clearly showing signs of stress that you get pulled in and discussions are about why your stress behaviours are a ‘you’ problem and nothing to do with the circumstances you are in, with no support at all (this is not unique to where I work - I know of at least 4 other NHS staff who are stressed to the eyeballs, who have had this experience).

Somehow I have managed to get some inner strength and apply for work.

On a positive note- I have a new job, will be gone at the end of the year to new horizons. Am looking forward to a new chapter/s for the next 10 years of my working life and have some respite (as not being the one who being there the longest has to take in all the responsibility) and try and put myself back together.

In a second positive note my low mental health has not been due to the peri menopause, as clearly with patterns it has been secondary to work.

My resignation has gone down like a lead balloon but it is a bit late for all the ‘ sorry we have not been able to support you’ …

Moral of the story is that things can change and just got to navigate it as best you can. Don’t sacrifice yourself for any job as we are all replaceable.

Congratulations @GorraSoreKnee, I’m also NHS and got no support when stress overwhelmed me.

I’ve got one week of my notice period left and I’ve a new job which I feel very excited about to look forward to.

There is always a way out.

I’m back at work after a few weeks off following the sudden death of my brother and in my 3 weeks left they really piled on the work including making me lead an internal review which was incredibly stressful! I did my best because I have integrity but it was tough to come back to!

I realised it early on, when I took a role in human resources. Clue is in the name.

Yep . Dictionary definition or a resource. Something of use.

• Of a resource - Something of use .

Good for you, OP. You've absolutely made the right decision, don't look back. Glad you're moving forward and have a positive outlook on your future.

All the best 🤗

I hate work life. Coworkers are not your friends, and there's no loyalty in business. Many times I worked overtime (not even getting paid extra for it) and many times I have been thrown under the bus by frenemies who want to climb that greasy pole of power. When I left my last job two months ago, I found out that my line manager at the time had been sticking the knife in after I left, getting coworkers to stonewall me because a permanent member of staff was bullying me (she took her side as I was a temp and easily disposable). I am in my late forties and unemployed but I would rather protect my mental health and I am fortunate to have a partner who supports me financially and emotionally (whilst I regroup). Grieve the process but remember your talents and attributes which you have lots of - the biggest revenge is success. Wishing you the best of luck.

@foreverhopeful2000 so true about the temp / perm imbalance. I have been a temp for 3 years and quite a few of the permanent staff have been there for less time than me. I don't want to work full time as they expect you to do a lot of overtime and they don't want to give permanent positions to part timers. Any complaint by a permanent staffer against a temp is given top priority but if the tables are turned the temp staff gets shown the door - and probably also in the former case too.

yes, well after my second and last nasty conversation with bullying permanent colleague I came back from holiday to have a one to one meeting with my line manager who suddenly said that they had to go with another agency in september (despite glowing feedback to my agency about what I could do - which also gave me an extension from easter). Then I found out in the staff diary that the bully was given the power to conduct interviews the month I was going whilst the line manager strangely took the last two weeks off at the end of the month which coincided with the end of the contract. Then another colleague casually mentioned that she thought my contract was finishing up mid september. Why she would know that I don't know. My line manager's manager then emailed me three weeks after I left, saying that they couldn't provide a reference to temps (I subsequently obtained 10 referees - and let them know that as my parting response). Luckily for me, my agency shared information that I've printed with the company acknowledging my attributes (which they don't know about). I believe there are nice people out there, but once you leave you are out of sight, out of mind. Cultivate your friendships and allies outside of work.

So true my line manager is Manthide thus, Manthide that, Manthide can you help me show the others this and yet my agency told me they had summarily got rid of me because of a personality clash between the line manager and me and offered me another shift!

Sorry you went through that. You also have to look at those that allow bad behaviour to go on. Whilst working as a temp, I observed that all the men looked a bit scared of her in the tea room. Sadly, temps have no rights, and some people who are in permanent positions have more power to behave badly. I also noticed in my small team that you were either the manager's buddy (so allowed to speak or have an opinion about everyone or everything) but ultimately as a temp you are disposible and outsider. My ex-line manager has been very manipulative behind my back since I left to craft a new narrative. She emailed me to congratulate me on some good news I had - but I blanked her because I knew she had stabbed me in the front, back and sides. As she changed her mind about a basic reference (which I thought was quite spiteful) she lost any respect I had for her.

Sorry to continue to read about other posters and issues with work. The poor treatment of temporary staff is unprofessional and very short sited as really they should be seen as an asset and potential in place for future recruitment.

But this goes back to the original point of this thread - at the end of the day hard work and loyalty can count for nothing; we are all just employees at the end of the day.

i am currently working though my notice- just want to be finished.
Had a meeting with the main manager this week about what she will do about my replacement and she couldn’t help herself by inserting a subtle ‘ the grass is not always greener’….
To late to try that sweet chestnut (giving a reason not to leave manipulation rather than find ways to support you to stay).

@GorraSoreKnee I feel in a very strange position at the moment after being told the company no longer wanted to book me and my p45 was on its way! My main supervisor told me who initiated that - and it was no surprise - despite me being told it was my main supervisor!
I know my hopes of becoming permanent are now dust but I'm still being asked to do jobs normally done by higher level permanent staff such as quality control and numbering picks. I was asked to do overtime tomorrow but have declined. I am looking for other work but this job is so convenient. Good luck in your next employment!

It's a disposable workforce . I think most employers will try and get rid of staff before two years is up unless they are essential to the workforce. The only industry where they want to hold on to staff long term is care .

Not soon enough 😆When I was made redundant after 8 years in my first job. Eventually went self employed after a few more years and never looked back.

Update from OP

Been in my new job since January as it has been the best thing I could have done.

Was it hard at first being in a new team, new routine, needing to learn new skills - yes
Was it worth it- yes
Do I regret considering this sooner- yes
Do I have a new attitude to work and not investing too much - yes

Am in good place, never sacrifice yourself for work and do consider alternatives.

Life is too short.

Amazing news OP.

DH and I have both been guilty of staying in more than one toxic work environments when we should have left much earlier. It's taken a few decades but we have finally learned the lesson to leave as soon as you are no longer enjoying your job. Going to a stressful job that you hate scars your soul.