When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

4yrs ago. I now work smart not hard wont work more than my hours and if I'm too ill to work ill take sick leave and not force myself to work. I'm now working to live not the other way round I dont give two fucks when we have to sit down in meetings and oh please give us feedback I just stay quiet or agree with someone else so I dont waste my time and energy on pointless corporate crap ..they never act on the feedback anyway. Dont bother doing the annual survey either.
I only do what benefits me now.

I am sorry to say that it is not very positive. Once you hit 50, it's a completely different ballgame and it is savage out there. Ageism is the workplace is rife, moreso if you are not senior management or have specialist skills.

I am 57 and was made redundant during the Covid pandemic after 20+ years of service from a reasonably well paid office job. I'm not unique as the over 50s took the biggest hit in redundancy terms. Many of which haven't returned to the workplace and I do wonder if like me now, they are having to get by on zero hours contracts, temp work and charm. I have never regained my footing as nobody wants to give me the opportunity.

How to move forward? You have to keep trying despite all the interviews I have already done in the last 3 years. I suspect it has something to do with most of the people interviewing now are in their 30s and they don't want to work with someone who is their mum's age! The sad thing is that one day they may be in this position.

Back in the early 1990s in my first job (IT) I arrived at work to find that all of our accesses were suspended. Everyone was asked to leave the office by a certain exit and we were directed into one of two conference rooms. One room was told they were redundant and sent back into the office to clear their desks and leave the building, the other room (that I was in) were told that the others were sacked. That was pretty brutal and highlighted how loyalty is only one way.

In other jobs since then I have had moments where I have started to feel a company is OK but then they do something like sell you to another company (TUPE) or move your job to a cheaper country on the other side of the world and again demonstrate that loyalty is a one way street.

I'm now in my late 50s, been in the job a decent length of time and the company is keen to tell me how valuable I am blah blah but at the same time I’m aware that I’m a relatively expensive and replaceable resource. I just hope the axe falls in a way that means I can effectively retire.

I am under no illusion that I am there while I can add value and if that wains I am out - hopefully with a good pay-out.

This. That's how management operate - in almost all decently paid jobs.

I think once you can accept that, your mindset changes and things become easier with this perspective.

When I applied for a job I was already doing, with a pay rise thanks to new funding, and it was given to someone half my age who had very little experience but ticked all the right boxes. Prior to that happening I'd been very loyal to the place. Now? Not at all. Still work there (different role) and go in, work , go home, get paid. That's it, and I think that's totally reasonable. No loyalty for the place whatsoever these days, as I realised that they had absolutely no loyalty for me.

Mid to late 20s. We all worked really long hours, work was our social lives too. Then they made redundancies - first time I was in a team that had redundancies and I realised how expendable we are.

I love the job I have now but I would not take it personally if I was made redundant. I am not defined by my work, it is one part of a more balanced life.

The flat management style that replaced hierarchical - late 80 early 90? seems to me to have given staff the idea they are all equal ergo inspired loyalty, usually misplaced.

My parents told me not to get too attached to a job. The graveyards are full of irreplaceable people. Grim but true.

Op, you must have a good network in your job and time you've been there. Use it to move departments.

In my last job, I felt loyal to my clients rather than my employers which is why I stayed there so long on crap pay.

However, yes, it was clear from the off that managers make don't make decisions based on loyalty (yours or theirs if they have any).

I've just left that job after being treated pretty shabbily - sick of doing two people's work and working under really high stress levels with incompetent managers.

(My previous company to that, however, really was one of a kind; set up by people who'd been treated badly in their previous jobs and they made sure their employees came first! A rarity indeed.)

The answer to any question about a business that starts 'why' is - money. Whether it's your employer or your local supermarket or your bank - the answer is the same.

When your employer announces some amazing new initiative that's going to benefit everyone - cherchez l'argent.

However it is dressed up, that is all they care about - making, or saving money.

Oh God yeah i'd forgotten about the meetings. In all my years of attending meetings, not one, and I mean not one, of my suggestions was ever implemented.

Over the years I've been lucky to work for a good company that gave me a very good package when they closed, equivalent to about 6 salary, and even a pearl necklace. They were family owned in the transport industry but decided to close the local branch.

Meanwhile my DH worked as maintenance in the health industry and having worked the same amount of years as I had (18) was warned the HR was going after staff with too many accrued years and holidays. The head surgeon that DH was friends with was the one that warned him! Sure enough in the next year, so many long term workers were found guilty of minor infractions, all overtime was refused or questioned. One of his co-workers went in early on Christmas morning to put salt on the sidewalk as the temperature had dipped below freezing overnight. Management denied his early extra hours... this sort of thing.
DH was also union foreman, so everyone else's problems came to him to help fight. The whole department was made redundant, and jobs contracted out. Of course it was illegal, but the union lawsuit took a year or more in the court. They did win, but of course no one wanted to actually go back to the hospital with the same management. It was a horrible time in our lives. He ended up taking early retirement with a pitiful payout (since it was his choosing).

Meanwhile I am still working in a good job in transport industry, am well liked by management and clients, but I am no fool. I realize I am a cog in the wheel of the company and do my work well but without giving too much of my personal well being or time.

I'm sorry you are getting yourself so upset. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate outside of work. I don't think you should get yourself worked up over the hard work you put in over the years. If you are in health care you must have done a lot of good. You also must have worked somewhere pretty lovely with a great team if this realisation is only just hitting you now. Be glad that you have had a sense of purpose and trust for much of your working life.

I have to say that most jobs make it pretty clear pretty quickly how expendable we all are and there is no security and no loyalty or treating employees well.

I think my grandfather in law ran the kind of business where employees were part of the family. But he died 20 years ago and had been retired for a good 10 years. I don't think there's been much loyalty and good treatment of employees in my 23 year working life.

I remember in my first year of work at the biggest of the "big 4" professional services firms they had a redundancy round where they even booted out a first year trainee. It's not like she'd failed her exams, they just decided she wasn't up to scratch and booted her (only woman in an intake of 5, no surprise there). Sent a message no one was safe. They did this kind of thing every few years dumping loads of staff who'd worked really hard. I lasted 12 years but got the boot once I had a baby. I was upset but also happy like I'd got out of an abusive relationship.

I've since seen the waters close over pretty much anyone who you might think of as indispensable. I know I'm useful and worth a lot to my employer but I also know they could cope without me.

Chin up. Use the knowledge to focus on life outside work. Thank you for the reminder because I need to do this too.

@Startingagainandagain I had a very similar experience working at a charity which I won't name but let's say...gives advice to citizens.
Bullying, work calls from them when I was zonked with bad covid, gas lighting, chaos generally.
Any online adove I looked up into being unfairly treated by an employer always came formctheor ownxwebsite, so ironic !

No need for rudeness.
Everyone is different...i also find the kindest people arent naive but have faith in human nature. If OP has just fully realized thats nice in a way, because she hasnt gone through 30 year of feeling bitter about it from her 20s.
Personally, ive a good job OP .am not naive, but like yourself thought hard work would pay...it has monetary but not emotionally.
Sadly we are replaceable ..i also dont bust my bollocks to do more than i should.. i used to but don't now..its never noticed just abused. Its all strategic tbh...its a dog eat dog world, i hate it. If i could afford to live off grid i would.

This week

After I went on maternity leave. I'd busted a gut there for the best part of a decade and it helped me take a step back and see things more objectively. The fact they only paid statutory mat pay might also have contributed!

4 years ago working for a well known fashion brand. We worked 10 hours Monday-Thursday and had Fridays off. A big order came in which meant we were asked to go in on every Friday for a month. I said I could do 3 Fridays but as I had something planned which I couldn't re-arrange I couldn't work the 4th (overtime was voluntary not compulsory). I was told I was "letting the team down", " selfish" and "had a bad work ethic". All of this just 4 weeks after I had cancelled 2 days off to work at another site in order to train somebody to do the job I did.
The snide comments continued to the point where I thought "that's it I'm out of here". Had the resignation email all typed up on the same day Lockdown 1 was announced. Didn't send it and took voluntary redundancy a few months later. Since then I have had several emails asking me to consider returning as my work was "highly regarded" and I was an ""asset to the company". Each time my reply has been the same "No thanks".

ETA I had worked there for 15 years and was in my early 50's at that point.

I'm currently in the process of retiring. I think I realised how dispensable employees are in my 20s but it's just been background knowledge until recently (now in my late 40s).

In the latter part of my career, I worked for a small company just under a decade. Ups and downs, with over confident under experienced owners that thought they we going to strike it big time rich. It was very stressful at times but was okay, it was interesting watching the soap opera unfold so was never dull!

Needless to say they didn't succeed, they over borrowed with investors and didn't deliver on revenue. It was on the verge of bankruptcy so they had to sell the business in pretty much a fire sale to a much bigger company. So we were merged into the new company and the new workplace culture is awful. Think awful US corporate culture. Everything is about caring, until it isn't and the true colours are exposed. Ineffective and disorganised, everyone fighting against each other and terrible internal communication, with a veneer of 'we are awesome and we're going to do big things together!' 🙄 Puts my teeth on edge. Anyway, I've decided I'm off. Not for me thanks. Some of my nice colleagues have gone native and a bit puffed up in their own self Importance, which is disappointing. Also sad when they find out they're not so important. They won't be made redundant, just worked into the ground until the penny drops. Cheaper that way you see.

I've now resigned and working my notice, and I'm trying to detox from actually giving a shit about work. I'm doing the bare minimum and I've found I can bat off projects fairly easily, which is great. It's quite satisfying doing the same thing to other people as they've done to me (not actually help when asked!).

I used to think I'd stay in touch with some people but that list has been revised in my head. There's very few from this workplace I think I will stay in touch with, which is not like me as my lifelong best friends are from my first career and people I worked with nearly 20 years ago!

It all seems so important at the time and I think of all the wasted energy we expend in caring about situations that won't last or even be remembered. For me, my family is the centre of my universe.

I feel like a ship wrecked survivor whose been battered and bruised from my working life, now finally washed up on the shores of hopefully a stable and peaceful life.

@GorraSoreKnee please don't feel too bad. You can leave with your head high and know inside you did the best for those you helped. You will never get validation from an employer, so give yourself a well deserved pat on the back and look towards the next chapter x

When I was in my 40’s, had complete burnout and breakdown from workload despite begging employer for help for months. Went off sick for 8 months (told them I was suicidal as a consequence of it all) and I only heard from my manager twice in 8 months, and neither those times was to check in that I was alive or even ok. I had been a top performing employee for years, was highly regarded etc

Everything is about caring, until it isn't and the true colours are exposed.

This pretty much sums up most companies.

They pretend to care about employees, but it is just a show for the customers.
They pretend to care about the environment, but it is just a show.....
They pretend to care about LGBTQ+, but it is just..........

All they really care about is delivering money to whoever owns it, at all costs.
They really don't give a shit about anything else.

Do your job. Do it well. But don't take it home with you, and always have a back up plan.

I think I realised right from when I first started full time work at the age of 16 (just). However, I only ever worked to live and never expected gratitude from my employers - as long as I was paid I was fine. I do have to admit that some of my bosses were kind and caring, but a couple of redundancies also featured. I took voluntary redundancy from my last full-time job and laughed my way out of the office!!

in my mid to late twenties, a colleague had worked in the same place for 42 years, retired, i said to our boss, you will miss X, he said, things will be done differently, with such a cold attitude.

I am 51 and worked in the horse industry as a groom some nice families, some entitled that spoke to me like shit. I gave the best part of my life to these jobs, crap pay, long days, no thanks, no thanks for late finish , early starts. Having to for go holidays/day off. It wasn't till I reached 50 I realised we're all only a number on a pay roll, no loyalty.
Up to then I actually thought people were great full I went that extra mile!! How nieve I was

In my late 20s when I was pregnant with my first and had been in job for 3 years and manager seemed annoyed about it. When I returned from maternity leave he commented that hope you're not having anymore babies because it was an inconvenience to the team. We started trying for second child that night and was pregnant again immediately. Went on to have 2 more maternity leaves and then left for better paid job at age 34. At new job I found a nice colleague who was giving her all and afraid to TTC because she felt she hadn't worked enough years with employer to deserve a baby. Madness, she'd been there 5 years.

I left a job before Xmas, worked all hours to leave things in a good state and then my payslip was about £800 less than it should be. Left a bad taste for sure.