When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

Ooh must have been about age 24. When I saw how quickly the team moved on after a long term employee died.

In my late 20s when I realised I'd end up alone and mentally unstable if I stayed in the police. Took me another 3 years to get out!

I think everytime I have left a job (usually stay about 5-6 years so relatively ‘loyal’) and see how quickly it is filled and the organisation moves on and you are forgotten. Although that is really how it ought to be - no one should be irreplaceable.

First full-time job in a bank, mid-twenties.

It's just a job - I don't know how you reached your 50's so naively

When I was widowed with young children and none of the vaunted ‘at the discretion of HR’ assistance was available to me, just the bare contractual minimum. I had the distinct impression they didn’t want me as a single parent, despite my shining work history.

It happened in increments, but I reckon 36 was when I clocked that my part in most decisions was absolutely minimal.

It's when I saw colleagues I respect absolutely break themselves doing an impossible ask, and somehow them thinking they must be the problem! They weren't supported at all, and were criticised for "not being strategic enough". Chronic underinvestment was the issue, not them!

Work doesn't have the same hold over me now, and a change of management means that expectations are more honest.

Nice bit of compassion bypass you got going on there.

Mine was also in my early 20s, when I was made redundant from a job I lived and breathed in my early career. I have never quite forgotten the lesson that it taught me, although I'm still prone to giving too much sometimes.

That's a bit harsh.
Working in the NHS there is an expectation that it is 'more than a job'. Clinicians rely on colleagues to be there professionally and some of the work conditions build up a 'trenches' mentality (or it has in teams I've worked in). It's very easy to buy into the need to go over and above and that you are a needed and valued worker.

There's a difference between knowing something logically and experiencing it.

In my first job after university and seeing how ruthless rounds of redundancies were. I have been through several M&As now, there is no loyalty.

I also feel the same about colleagues, they are just colleagues not friends (very rarely there may be friends who stay in touch after one or other moves on).

I suspect you may feel differently as you are in the NHS though.

First job. I never thought anything else. Some jobs are better than others, but they're jobs. We live in capitalism. Doesn't mean I like it, but such is life.

Pushing 50 and made redundant from a company where I'd worked for 12 years. Done the overtime, the all nighter to get a new (useless ) IT system in, the business trips. I walked out of the office on my last day and ONE colleague bothered to look up and say good luck. The rest kept their heads down - people I'd worked with for years and helped out.

I could see last exjob going corporate and didn't like it, so walked in early 2021 (was fortunate enough to be able to do that). Nothing is more important than my mental health and sense of wellbeing, and managers at exjob during 2020/2021 did its best to destroy that.

Same, people come and go and job roles can change

I have made some friends over the years on and off at work and had better and more sociable jobs than others but to me it's human nature for change and it just happens

I don't see it as reflection on me personally

After I retired, about 40 years too late...

Public service - it's there on the box, you are a Public Servant - you work as hard as you can for the people in your community, at least that was my ethos going in - low pay be damned, you do the work to do some good in the world.

It can be a powerful motivator for people to go above and beyond, but can very quickly turn toxic for individuals with little safeguard, you need to maintain (and have an organisation support) exceptional personal boundaries longterm.

But you know we're lazy, bottom of the barrel, tax wasting, sitting on a golden egg pension fools according to the wider public -so what do I know😂

In my early 20s tbh. I saw people give too much of themselves and then become resentful when it wasn't appreciated, whereas those who kept in mind that it was just a job, did what was required and moved regularly kept a better perspective. I regularly see long term "cornerstone" staff retire, and I am genuinely sorry to see them go and at the loss of knowledge and experience but...I also see how quickly their place is filled by young and willing staff who do just fine.

From your OP I wouldn’t say the conclusion is that loyalty doesn’t matter. You said the change benefits others but not you. That doesn’t mean they see you as just a number, but that they had a difficult decision to make and it shouldn’t automatically go your way because you’ve been there longer. Loyalty counting for nothing would be things like showing no kindness if you were bereaved - things that only impact you and not the wider team.

i was in my job for 10years when I applied for flexible working that my managers denied. I then left my role as I couldn’t mange home commitments and work and only to learn they would rather pay for agency workers to replace me than actually agree to my flexible working request or to even give it a trial. To this day they still use agency workers and have never been fully staffed.

About 40 odd. I went on a residential (had 3 a year) and all staff were put in executive rooms - except me - and I was the longest serving member of staff.

My boss was very much a user, I left shortly afterwards.

When I nearly got made redundant. The company eventually got rid of people who had been there for many years over people that had newly joined. Made me realise I am just a body in a room and nothing more.

I worked retail. If I left there was always someone willing to take my place.
So age 15 for me.

Mid-20s, when our manager went on a spiel about how she had our backs and would support us when we needed and then rolled over the first time I butted heads with someone in another team (I was right, she still didn't care).

In my 20s I worked for 9 years in a company that was supposed to be a small family business and whilst they were flexible in some ways they expected a LOT from their employees with unpaid overtime, no payrises as "we were paid very well", we weren't 🙄. We'd never work anywhere else that was as good, etc. After busting a gut for them, the scales were lifted from my eyes and I'd never again sacrifice my personal time for a business and always consider my worth.
I'm always on the lookout for new opportunties, however I know I have a really cushy job at the moment and I can't see me switching. The minute it doesn't work for me anymore, I'm out. Loyalty is meaningless.

In my early 50s, long term job, new manager, didn't come near my department, listened to clique hearsay, ran the store based on being in her clique and being 'bestie' .
My health took a dip, and I got no support. They had literally announced 'menopausal' support, it meant Jack, she was managing me out. I left. I had given years, and I totally believed in what I did. Won't ever do it again, go to work, do literally what I'm paid for, no more, no less.

I've always known this but fortunately have never been on the receiving end of it. Most likely because I've always used employers rather than be used by them, and I don't consider colleagues to be friends - they are two separate things.

Also I've only ever done enough work to not get sacked - years before "quiet quitting" was even a thing.

Around 25. I've always busted my a$$ and put in extra hours, we had an issue at work and saw how quickly I was blamed for it by my manager. Second time around 35 (different place), still busting my a$$ working extra hours, doing above and beyond, made redundant, again manager trying to look after themselves. Seeing how people behaved was a real learning for me to realise that people often do the right thing and have no loyalty or integrity