When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

At 35 at my second time of being made redundant. The first time I got made redundant company had lost the contract and travelling to the new companies office wasn't viable so redundancy was the only option. Honestly this didn't affect me much, but the job I took after that, being made redundant from that broke me.

I worked, above and beyond consistently for years, prioritising work over my own small business, working more hours than required and trying my best to be an outstanding employee. A big merger happened and the aftermath of that (including being made redundant myself) was a huge wake up call that companies really don't give a shit and everyone is replaceable.

I now work for myself and regret the times I chose my job over my own small business as I would be much further along than I am now if I kept up the momentum I had a couple of years ago.

I'm afraid I agree with this.

I think employees like you in the public sector do get lulled into a false sense of belonging, as they tend to stay in the same job for years.

I've been made redundant twice in the private sector in the space of six years and both times I significantly increased my salary by changing roles.

That was 15 years ago and looking back I think I was quite tough and driven to be able to do that.

I was bullied out of my last job after 14 years. My manager reiterated to me on a daily basis that I, like everyone else, was replaceable. Turns out it took them over a year to replace me with a thoroughly lovely and competent guy who I had trained up myself.

Have been aware of it a few times but always fall into the trap of slogging my guts out for an employer who wouldn’t have batted an eye if I dropped dead

Women in their fifties often seem to get made redundant no matter how good they are at their job.
Like many I know I have taken a pay cut for an easy job. I never work a minute over my hours and take it easy at work.

Almost as soon as I started work! How could you not realise until you were in your 50s?!? It's very obvious.

Absolutely years ago. Although most painful when made redundant the day I returned from Mat leave from a job I’d been in for a decade.

I do what I need to do to both keep my job and also keep myself fulfilled in that job. I’ve also realised no one is really looking over my shoulder as long as I keep delivering, as no one cares enough. As I am the only one who actually cares, I deliver to a standard I am proud of without killing myself. It’s very liberating.

Companies often work very hard to disguise the exit of employees who are unhappy.

I found out by accident that my boss had told the board that he’d fired one of my colleagues because she was incompetent. It was a complete lie. I was actually there when she got the call offering her her new job!

Yep I was nearly 50 when I was the one chosen to be binned off from my last job when there was a downturn during the pandemic. Despite being “model employee, dream to manage, never putting a foot wrong” etc blah blah. The other fee earners were all in their 20s and early 30s.

In my first job out of Uni, the co. was taken over and there were redundancies. A hard working married man, sole breadwinner with 3 small DC, was first to go. I was shocked.

Then I worked in HR and sat in meetings where people were discussed as commodities on a regular basis.

After this I knew that co.s do not give a shiny shit about their staff. They pretend to, but it’s just an act. They’d screw you over to save a few pounds.

Where I work now they have a past reputation for treating staff well. Except they really don’t. I work p/t and I do a very good job. However, I’m under no illusion that they’d drop me to suit themselves. I work there for the money, and because the hours suit me. I’ve no loyalty to them. I have loyalty to my colleagues, but not the company.

We see it happen to others throughout our careers. It just hurts more when it directly impacts you.

About 8 years ago a manager died out of the blue. Well loved by colleagues and clients (but not senior management, likely due to his popularity), his death left a huge hole in many people's lives. He didn't even get a mention in our weekly meeting. A lot of folk left the business shortly after that.

2 years ago (after flogging my guts out and going WAY above and beyond during covid) I had to take some time off - not a single call, email, letter came my way. I realised that I was just a number and that stung, a lot

I found out I was just a disposable peg on a board in my first job in my twenties. I was made redundant before 2 years of service and I didn’t get any payout. I was given my possessions in a box and escorted out of the building - along with the rest of my team. I have shown no loyalty to any employer ever since.

Elizabeth Wurtzel talked about lack of job security and care for employees etc in her book "Prozac Nation" which came out in 1994.

Interesting as it was about them my parents suffered with their employers.

Both DSis and I got the pregnant and screwed treatment decade later - though we were both already very aware how disposable we were as workers.

FIL was like my Dad let go mid 50s - but he had practical building trade skills so him and few mates set up their own company. He worked as hard as before though refuse jobs working away from home but there was plenty of local work but took as many holidays as he wanted and retirement when he wanted - few years later than if he's still be working for his last employer.

I know some of DH older colleges mid 50s let go managed to set up consulting and do similar to FIL - work more to their timetable.

even when good, kind people are in charge, that’s the harsh reality of it.

I'm afraid so.

I think it's especially hard when you're in a very people centred area of work, like the NHS or education. It becomes quite a personal part of who you are. But when it comes down to it, there are some decisions that have to be made by managers, however much they might affect people that they value.

In another role I had to make one of those decisions, and it was beyond tough. The person affected was distraught. And I couldn't expect her to recognise that it was the last thing we wanted to have to do. There was absolutely no reason for her to feel sorry for us, ffs. But it isn't necessarily that no-one cares or values individual members of their team.

Having said that, some of the stories in this thread are awful, and don't fit the 'no other option' scenario.

I had grown my award winning tight knit team over 10 years - we worked on very complex global projects. We were all made redundant 2 years ago after a change in senior management decided to transition the work abroad to well educated staff with little experience in our industry but who were obviously going to be much cheaper to employ. We were gutted at the lack of loyalty, but my colleagues have since all got new jobs in different industries and are thriving.

Start of the year I got an email from another new manager at the old company asking if I would freelance manage one of their most prestigious projects as they need someone with experience. Seems like the overseas office isn't working out after all 😂

Late thirties when I left teaching. Not an eye lid was bat. Totally replaceable.

Now 52, on my 3rd cancer diagnosis ( this time secondary) being around for my teens, partner and parents, is top of my priorities now.

I realised a very long time ago. But that still doesn't help when you get made 'sham' redundant, treated badly, and bullied by new manager. You get left licking your wounds, even though you already knew there was no loyalty.

I realised when I left my grad job age 29 (almost 3 years ago now) after being there for 6 years. I put so much time and effort into that job and was so sad to be leaving my colleagues and clients. But my replacement was an internal transfer and so started before I left. She swooped in and I was quickly forgotten about! a definite lightbulb moment for me.

I think you are very lucky to have only realised this now, I don’t think it’s a bad thing necessarily.

18 when I realised. My little sister had died suddenly (suicide) and they expected me to be back in work waitressing the next day. They told me if I didn’t they would have to let me go 🙄 I didn’t realise at that age how unreasonable they were, but did realise that businesses don’t give a fuck.

Was 47.

Realised one day that, despite 10 years of loyalty and regularly going 'above and beyond', my Manager wouldn't hesitate to throw me under the bus if something went wrong with our project.

Left 3 months later and never looked back.

@Jackfrostnippingatmynose Out of interest, if you don't mind saying, what did you reply?

Probably not until mid 40s. I'd done 25 years , always told how brilliant and relied upon I was. I took it with a pinch of salt but then mid-40s a new senior leader made work life very difficult for me and no-one cared. Heads down, carry on.

I stayed as well paid and not qualified to do much else - and senior manager left in due course. But it was an important lesson.

I always prioritise home life now. Always. Which is sad in some ways.

When a lot of people hit 50’s they’ve already had and paid for their DC, mortgage and big ticket items. Also, they start to see a few friends and peers fall to the wayside. I’ve had a friend die, and a couple of others be diagnosed with illnesses that mean they won’t get to travel and do some of the things they want to.

If you write your bucket list, you may find at 50, that some of it needs doing before you hit 60.

All the 50 somethings I know, are very productive and professional and have a very good work ethic. However, they have strong boundaries now. Work is not a priority. It’s a means to an end. They’ll do the work, but family, hobbies, travel and friends are more important to them. Many of them are working to a goal e.g. like me, retiring at 62 and they’ll suck up the crap, but not invest any emotional energy into it.

I started working part time after school aged 13, by the time I finished uni Id had at least 10 part time jobs, at one point I had 3 on the go. By then, having worked in retail, care homes and factories I had a very realistic view of the working world. Its held me in good stead over the years and since then I have only ever done roles and work that I get something out of (over and above the money). The worst part for me is how cynical it has made me about people in general, seeing them try to clamber over each other in the constant battle of egos that is 'the office'. WFH is such a blessing.