When did you realise you are just an employee and loyalty accounts for nothing?

[GorraSoreKnee]

Just here to see at what age did you realise that although work is an important part of your life- you are an employee and blood / swear/ tears/ loyal service accounts for nothing?

I am in my early 50’s and been in my current role for 25 + years- it has been hard/ stressful at times, have gone over and above, been loyal, helped progress careers, felt that I have contributed to others, made a difference to people in need (work in healthcare and NHS).
I always knew this moment would
come as I have some very dear older friends / now retired colleagues who would always try to help you get things in perspective and one would always say ‘ remember , we are all replaceable’. I did see one retire and she was replaced with ease and work continued to go around.

This month a managerial decision was made which will have a very very negative impact on myself and role but benefit others. It was clear what the outcome would be, but there was a wider management decision to be had, so clearly we are all employees in a machine.

i am very upset by this but mainly because I now realise in this moment loyalty accounts for nothing.
I am very sad and feel like it is a loss ( sounds irrational but that is how I feel as it has changed my perspective on work).
To top it off my line manager was more concerned about how my response was picked up in the team, rather than acknowledge I am human and it is hard at times to conceal emotional response.
Think this is now the time to explore that other things there are out there without fear of leaving what I know. I will get my CV up to date and will also do some financial review to see what options we have.

I am now having other life stresses as many others do in thier 50’s ( aging parents/ ill health/ children leaving home/ menopause/ seeing friends needing
cancer treatment/ husband dealing with work stress etc) so could do without
work shit/ pressures and too much responsibility which has just been thrown my way.
Another close friend of mine ( same age, same organisation) had this moment also last year, took a different outside job with a pay cut and it has worked out well.
I do think this is what happens to many
with jobs/ careers/ roles.
I am just reflecting that maybe I should
have realised this sooner and not done all the unpaid overtime over the years as it has accounted for nothing.

Has this happened to other women in their 50’s and how did you move forward?

Not really here for a discussion- would just like to hear other stories to help
me realise, amoungst my tears, I am not the only one and maybe hear some positive outcomes.

The moment I started working full time, so maybe 21. A job is a job, it’s not a friend. I’ve never done a minute of unpaid overtime. I’ve moved jobs regularly to suit me - never stayed anywhere longer than 3 years. Now I’m self employed and my long term plan is to work as little as possible for the most money. Capitalism is bad for us and you’ve got to use it to your advantage as much as possible - use your employers rather than letting them use you.

as an aside, I’m not really sure what people mean when they say they realised how easily people could be replaced? If someone retires, leaves or even dies, what do you expect to happen - the department to grind to a halt and everyone to be crying over how they miss the person? they were there to do a job, not because of their personal qualities, so of course they can and will be replaced. I don’t think having been somewhere a long time is a good reason to think you shouldn’t be made redundant either.

I've been promoted into my current role. Worked really hard to get here and now I'm working hard during the time I'm there but nothing else. No work on days off, no checking emails. I love the job but I just have more important things to worry about. My eldest child moved out in October at age 16 to do an apprentiship 2 hrs away. That leaves me with 1 child left at home. I would rather spend time with him/ friends/ family than worrying whether my team is the highest performing or not. (It isn't). I'm 41. I couldn't have not cared before as I got promoted fairly late because I was busy bringing up young kids as a single parent before so worked really hard to get promoted once childcare was easier. It's not for the love of the job (although actually I do love the job) it's for more financial security. I have a house but also a bit of debt so needs must.

A long time before my 50's. I've never worked anywhere longer than 5 years and I stopped doing unpaid overtime a long time ago. I always thought it was best to move around. More room for negotiation, less boredom and more opportunities to learn from colleagues. Stood me in good stead as I went self employed years ago, which I much prefer, and lots of my ex employers are now clients. I charge much more than they paid me and choose when to work/take holiday etc. No more appraisals for me!

^^This

Aged about 35. There were only 4 women in a company of about 30, and all the men went on a team building day, the women weren’t invited because it was go-karting and they didn’t think we’d like it. Nobody even asked us, we turned up one morning to find the offices empty and it took ages to find out where they were. The worst is that due to the nature of our jobs, it must have been really difficult to plan it without us finding out. I never managed to really care about that job after that.

20. Worked above my pay grade managing a shop to cover maternity and the company went into liquidation. Nobody told us, they just came one evening to take all our shop fittings.

Never go above your pay grade, always maintain boundaries.

I’ve always been a people pleaser and in the past have put my hand up for everything, even if it means overtime or changing holidays etc. I have very poor boundaries. That is not rewarded. The ones who are rewarded are the ones who go in, and stick to their brief and their own targets. There is a bit of me thinks that I have to do everything, but I only need to do my bit - to tick my boxes and go home. I’m doing that with a vengeance now 😁

Also NHS. I was replaced by someone with clinical experience, even though I’d been doing my job for ten years. All the work I had done ground to a halt because they didn’t know what they were doing, and lots of people were let down.

On the plus side, it forced me to go self employed so now I do the same work for other NHS trusts and get paid twice as much for half the hours!

Late 20s. Saw a friend get screwed over by our employers. I had left by then. Also we were unionised but they broke it - that was a big clue how much they valued us!

Anyone who’s ever worked in crap service jobs in their early life should know this. I do hear you though. There is a particular pain if you are public sector as they expect your blood and they drain you. I got out of the public sector and now having to navigate a whole other pile of crap. At least it’s a distraction. It’s actually been made pretty clear to me how lowly my position is, with my many years of experience and skills they supposedly really value and find difficult to recruit for. At least I know where I stand.

I knew it a long time ago. But, most recently been confirmed when I came back from MAT leave. I've been treated very poorly in general since I've returned. Sad really.

Very recently really - wave of necessary redundancies at my company and long serving employees treated really poorly, by their managers as well as HR etc. Made me realise that loyalty has zero value to an organisation when it comes to it.
I always knew that deep down, but I think seeing it so close up (people I know v well involved) really hammered it home.

I've always seen work as a means to an end.

DH was like you. When he was made redundant it was gutting. One of the few times I've seen him cry.

I started work at 16 and realised at 16!

This. I had two bosses and they were lovely, but in the end, you're working for others who will do what they think is necessary for the organisation. I was planning early retirement by 25.

I was baffled by the term "quiet quitting" as really it just means sticking to your contract, which is always important. I worked very long hours for overtime pay, but otherwise, no way.

Oh OP I understand how you feel. And it’s a horrible feeling.

The first time I saw this happen to a couple of colleagues. I was late 20’s so of a different mindset. I was working for a very large corporate and they had a restructure which resulted in a few of their very long standing employees being made redundant. They were all in their mid/late 50’s, all had worked there for 30+ years. I won’t name the company but they are very well known, paid well, annual bonus, private healthcare etc so staff tended to stay. The staff were distraught. So upset it was awful.

The next time I saw another restructure result in redundancies and again employees who had been there 20+ years apply for a reduced number of positions. People who had worked alongside each other and become friends ended up falling out with each other as they tried to ‘win’ the few roles that were up for grabs. Horrible situation with friendships destroyed in the process.

And the final time I was on the receiving end. I worked many extra hours unpaid, would go in at weekends to catch up, unpaid. Loved where I worked, who I worked with etc A new boss came in and decided to restructure. I was suddenly put in the redundancy process. It was cold, brutal and quick. The day I was told my role was being put in the redundancy process, I was told to gather my things as I was being ‘given’ garden leave. In other words they didn’t want me to speak badly of the company to colleagues or be upset in the office. So on that day everyone in the redundancy process went round saying goodbye whilst upset and in shock because none of us saw it coming.

Your loyalty doesn’t count for nothing. I’m sure those on the receiving end of your efforts and loyalty over the years have benefitted. If you’ve enjoyed your work, your work environment, made friends and been paid them it hasn’t been a waste of your time. Try and look at the positives instead of the negatives.

Quite a while ago, I work in the nhs in the community, part time, I don’t do extra, I don’t stay late unless held up with someone. You get no extra thanks for it and I appreciate my work life balance, I’m not going to burn out for no one and I love my job and would like to continue to do so

OP, I am really sorry for what you're going through. If that's how you felt, regardless of how others feel, you've had a shock. I'm sorry.

My parents believed in loyalty being rewarded and were quite annoyed at me moving jobs a lot but it seemed better to me. It makes employers more aware they have to keep you happy.

My last two jobs, I did for 6 years each, and I still can't believe I did that. But there was a lot of re-stating of boundaries to do in 6 years.

I think from my first redundancy (30's) I was aware that this was the case.
However, I do often put in extra but I do it for me, to achieve my goals.
I sprout the company line but in the end I do it for me.
I do extra because I want that bonus, that pay rise, the pat on the back (though I prefer to be rewarded financially).
I am happy to work hard and be conscientious (up to a certain point) but I take my holidays (I do sometimes work, but only for high profile gain).
So I play the game. Take my dosh, make sure I save what I can for a good retirement (I am there but it is hard to walk away from a good salary).
I was made redundant in my early 50's but walked straight into a job, so I am a bit grateful to this company; but I am under no illusion that I am there while I can add value and if that wains I am out - hopefully with a good pay-out😉

I was about to say something similar, but can't better the above.

You are no more important than the people (and presumably the structure) that this decision benefits. Change is hard, I know. I've been there and it's one of the things that led to me retiring a couple of years earlier than planned. I was simply exhausted from all the changes I'd had to adapt to in teaching. I was unhappy with the latest change, and decided that it was time to leave on a positive note, rather than be the 'old person' in the corner of the staffroom moaning about it.

But I never saw it as my managers being disloyal to me. I had the chance to put my views, but this was a change that other people thought was right for the school, and the SLT agreed. They did what they felt was best for the school. It wasn't about me.

My first full time job when I was 18. My parents didn’t really get my attitude until much later on after my step mum retired and my dad had a heart attack and was made redundant so easily after 25 years of service.

Fortunately it was my late 20s when I realised this. Never forgotten though!

I think you need to try and reframe your thoughts on this.

Perhaps you didn’t go above and beyond for your employer but you did it for yourself, your self worth, to maintain your personal values, to give yourself a sense of pride and achievement?

It would be pretty soul destroying to work for 25 years in a role you didn’t care about, just clocking on and off every day without any care about anything or anyone whilst you’re there.

So think about it this way, you went above and beyond for you and the colleagues and patients you cared about because you are a good person. It gave you fulfilment in your life.

You are now in a phase of your life where other areas require more of your attention and that is ok.

Long before I started work. My dad was made redundant twice in the 1980s, and my mum worked for a company that went bust overnight in the early 1990s.

Actually, OP, can you have a quiet word with someone about redundancy? Then at least you'd get a payout.

Though sometimes if you've been there too long, you are too expensive to pay off. But it's possibly worth it, especially if you can get some money and breathing space.

Have you enjoyed your work? If so, you have had a good experience of work generally, which is great.