How to approach wfh with a child

[C96x]

Background- been at my job 6.5 years, senior role currently working hybrid after going on maternity in 2021 returning 2022 (3days home, 2 days office).

I received a call today from my manager regarding a complaint from a colleague to a director that I work from home 1 day with my child and how that shouldn’t be allowed and now my HR would like to speak to me. Instantly after this phonecall I got very upset, I have been working from home with my child 1 day a week for the last year after nursery fees increased, I’ve always openly spoken about it in meetings/ calls and discussions with HR when I have needed to have meetings.
I am having this meeting tomorrow and now I’m worried I might get penalised for this.
My work is always on top form nothing outstanding never had complaints from the accounts I look after/ deal with. Yes working from home with a child is a challenge but I get my work done and certainly if I don’t finish my work in my hours I work extra to get it done (nothing like working the next day with an increased workload).

Is there anything out there against working from home with a child? could they physically make me put my child into another day of nursery?

thoughts on this please ☺️

Turning off alerts

What is your child doing all day??? It's not on. You know deep down it's not.

Pay the childcare or reduce your/partner hours like everyone else juggling the mess of childcare in this country

How was the meeting?

Once more just making assumptions . I know some people get very overwhelmed the “ I cant have have a Shower or a cup of tea because I have a baby “ brigade would probably find it impossible to multitask but , once more , to others it’s nit that hard .

You can't be working a full day with a 2-3 year old at home. We all know how time consuming small children are. You need to get childcare for your child or they could ask you to go back to work in the office as you've proved you're not trustworthy. Then you'd have to get childcare. It's not fair on your employer or colleagues.

Probably depends on the baby

It’s really not ok to be doing this. What if you are busy with work and your child has an accident. Whose fault is that? Work because they made you pre occupied? That’s what HR will care about. Also setting a precedent. If you can do it one day so and so can ask to do it 2 days.

from an employee point of view it’s going to be people doing these sorts of things that ruins wfh for everyone.

Writing a report, reading a document, having a phone call or a zone meeting, coding, managing other staff - none off these can be done while singing row row row your boat, mixing fairy cake batter, reading Zog out loud (with the voices), building a brick tower or any of the other million things that you should be doing with a toddler. It's not a failure of multitasking - the two things are not compatible. Having a job that is flexible that allows to work for an hour and half in the morning while your child naps, then and hour and a half in the afternoon while they nap, do other tasks for 5 or 10 minutes here and there while the child is occupied watching Bing and then complete your hours once your partner is home/the child is in bed is different to being paid to work from 9-5 and spending at least 50% of that time singing nursery rhymes, dealing with potty training accidents and looking for Mr Blue bear.

Once more just making assumptions . I know some people get very overwhelmed the “ I cant have have a Shower or a cup of tea because I have a baby “ brigade would probably find it impossible to multitask but , once more , to others it’s nit that hard .

It's also not that hard to understand that if I'm having a shower and my 2 year old needs me (does a poo, falls on their face etc) I get out, deal with it and can then finish my shower. If I'm on the phone-call with one of my clients it's not massively professional to tell them I'll call them back once I have changed a nappy, got the potty or soothes my crying child.

Same with teams meetings. I can't have a meeting with members of the public with a toddler on my lap. The people I work with deserve my full attention (and of course kids do too)

I’m not surprised HR wants to talk to you. You categorically cannot be effectively working and parenting a toddler at the same time. Everyone is getting short-changed here. Did you really expect people to say this was OK? You need proper childcare until they’re much older.

Hard.

As a single woman no distractions at home who worked 7 hours out of a possible 18 this week when the company were no help I have every sympathy.

I’m old school, years ago when you worked in a call centre you had your mobile taken of you till end of shift or you were duty bound to switch it off, now today more then ever you have to have the thing on because of two factor authentication.

Really could not believe Monday. The entire day sat doing no work. Who in their right mind wants the stress of can I log on today, every day.

Even the bring your own equipment outfit had a no children or disturbing pets policy, laughable really.

Hope it went the way you’d want.

And this is why companies are rolling back wfh. 😡Because the small minority of people take advantage. And you can't let one person do it and not others, therefore remove the option and return to the office.

This. WFH with a young child is unfair on them, your employer and your colleagues.

update: meeting went well, rules are being placed across the board (I wasn’t the only one wfh with toddler but just so happened I was the name that was mentioned) after working with HR and figuring out best way; I am now able to condense my hours into 4 days and have a day off with my daughter. Win Win!

very lucky to work for a supportive company but I think what got my back up the most was someone talking about me regardless of the context.

I’m glad you got it sorted OP but I don’t think you should have assumed working at home while caring for your child was appropriate. If you were struggling to afford nursery fees you should have approached your employer before now to work condensed days. If you’d done this there would have been no reason for a colleague to raise it with management. They must have had concerns to raise it with management in the first place.

I agree with the previous poster. Your company is obviously supportive so it’s a shame you arrogantly assumed “informing your manager” of your way was the best route through. Hopefully your poor colleagues can feel less aggrieved now and your daughter doesn’t have to be phubbed on work days.

I'm pleased for you op. And happy that your company have worked with you so you can figure things out.

As someone on a condensed 4 day week, I'd reserve that win/win statement. I work 8-6 and it's tough.

We are so obsessed with being at work. Again I think it depends on what you do, but I would love to see a cultural shift in the way that we approach working parents (not just mums - parents).

I now have a business, and work from home, and have a team - and had to work with my daughter from home and sometimes I bring her into the office - I was in the corporate space for over 6 years beforehand (replied on childcare and nursery etc). It’s obviously so different when you have this flexibility and I think this is the reason why so many businesses owners are mums (honestly it’s hard work, lots to balance but has so much freedom).

When I was working in the corporate space, both as an exec and in a managerial position - I was always so fed up at the obsession with working 9-5 and physically being there on days that you’d complete the workload in 3 hours - for the rest of the day everyone gossips, goes for a long lunch, the male dominated teams would have early drinks; we would have meetings for meetings sakes and all I could think to myself was “this is a waste of time, I could easily be at home, monitor emails or at least run some errands!”

OP I don’t have direct advice, but I wanted to add that some of us women find a way to balance work and home - it doesn’t look like the perfect picket fence life but I wouldn’t have it any other way. There are flexible workplaces out there but I find it works with smaller organisations or teams where it’s much easier to communicate and the relationships with colleagues are built on trust. My last managerial role, half of us were parents (including our male CEO who was very vocal on the days he had to have his children) and we worked hard, but communicated and delegated tasks to get things done - we worked together - a common goal.

Not sure if work culture will change anytime soon - but I’m hoping that it does.

I wonder if your former colleagues still have a corporate space with so much downtime. Many companies have been cut to the bone. I’m senior management, I am extremely efficient and good at saying no to stuff. But I still have a job that takes up more time than I’m contracted for. This is endemic in my industry. Because I’m senior enough and have broadly a supportive enough employer I can be flexible. I rarely have to leave DS in nursery all the way until 6. If he’s ill we can busk it. But the idea of regularly having him at home and working as required is intensely unrealistic. I could have managed it in one previous role, but it’s no coincidence that that entire unit was made redundant after I left!

You are trying to do two jobs at the same time. By doing so you are short-changing both your employer and your child. I’m not surprised your colleagues are upset.

How on earth do you get anything done? I can’t even go to the toilet alone for 2 minutes with my preschooler at home. I cannot fathom how anyone can work from home with a 2-3 yo.

I would say fine every now and again for emergencies but not as standard. I work with mine in the house for about an hour after school but they are both tweens/ teens and so are either out or entertaining themselves elsewhere in the house. I don't think it's really doable with a small child all day. I know just how tricky that was from lockdown which luckily my employer allowed on grounds of being exceptional circumstances.