Page 22 | DH's colleague thwarting flex working request

mamabeeboo · 2023-04-12T14:23:40+00:00

Hi all We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁 DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am. The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons. The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience. Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential. Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

Brefugee · 15/04/2023 07:56

What I have asked is people moderate their language when pointing out why her request is not reasonable.

why? sometimes CF behaviour needs to be spelled out. Tone policing women? no thank you

Brefugee · 15/04/2023 08:00

So help the op out what is a potential option that is fair to the OPs DH and his colleague?

well @Foreversearch a start might be to dial the entitlement down from 11 for starters.

Look around the company and see what other people do? Talk to the colleague? for all they know they might like working the late shift.
Work out a plan of fixed shifts, maybe 3 earlies one week, 2 the next, that would be acceptable to anyone presented with those shifts. ie if DH was told that he had to work that shift pattern, how would he feel about it?
etc etc.

Push comes to shove? the DH has niche skills that are sought after, he can find a new job with shifts that suit him?

CommanderSeven · 15/04/2023 09:13

OP if your partner does become a stay at home parent in the early years please consider making a regular payment into a private pension for him.
And claim the child benefit in his name so that his NI contributions continue to be paid.

CrazyLadie · 15/04/2023 18:36

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 16:01

I just asked the best way to submit the request by posting on the work thread. Didn't ask if I was being unreasonable. Will potentially consider the 2-3 day rotating shift as an alternative if the answer is no, so thanks for those who suggested that.

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Yer hubby should check the flexible working policy before submitting an initial request, I know with my work if one get refused I can't apply again for another year. If you want to swap shifts then hubby is gonna have to take the evening one, you can still have half days at nursery but it will be PM instead of AM.

Stewball01 · 20/04/2023 18:49

Awful idea regarding the poor other worker.

SecretVictoria · 21/04/2023 09:43

Beth123456789 · 14/04/2023 07:10

I cannot believe what I am reading. If I was the manager I would be saying go look for a job with hours to suit you then. I cannot believe this entitled parenting all of a sudden that people with no children are expected to take the short straw to enhance the lives of people with children, bet you will expect hubby's colleague to cover his shifts too when he takes sick day due to the child as well.

It’s really not “all of a sudden”, it’s been this for for the most of my 25 years of working life. Those of us who don’t have kids are expected not to mind working Christmas/late shift /weekends etc. I worked in a school once and skied to drop to TTO, my manager’s immediate response was “Why? You don’t have children.”

Beth123456789 · 21/04/2023 15:47

Tell me about it, let's call flexible working agreement what they really are, I still want all the perks of a full time salary and workplace benefits, whilst only doing half my duties and and the other half seeing what I can sherk on to other people. I once had my scheduled days off changed to accommodate someone else's childcare arrangements and it was awful, I didn't see friends or family, it became quite isolating for a few months

HunterHearstHelmsley · 22/04/2023 08:30

Beth123456789 · 21/04/2023 15:47

Tell me about it, let's call flexible working agreement what they really are, I still want all the perks of a full time salary and workplace benefits, whilst only doing half my duties and and the other half seeing what I can sherk on to other people. I once had my scheduled days off changed to accommodate someone else's childcare arrangements and it was awful, I didn't see friends or family, it became quite isolating for a few months

Were your scheduled days off contracted? I had a similar issue a few years back but my hours were contracted. My employer tried to change my hours but I basically said no, so they had two people in at some points and none in at others. They did try to consult to change my hours but I put a grievance in.

Not sure of exactly what happened but there was no permanent change. I'd assumed the other person was on a trial period.

Coffeepot72 · 22/04/2023 08:37

Beth123456789 · 14/04/2023 07:10

I cannot believe what I am reading. If I was the manager I would be saying go look for a job with hours to suit you then

@Beth123456789 i agree. If your circumstances change, you can’t necessarily expect your employer and colleagues to bend themselves out of shape to accommodate this.

Fluff3 · 23/04/2023 08:52

1 word, Selfish. You cant expect the other person to work all afternoons and not be able to have much of a life so you can gain. It was your choice to have twins. I understand the finiancial implications of child care etc, but still, you dont know about the other guy

TeaAndTwoSugars · 23/04/2023 09:17

I think op has left this thread.

Picoloangel · 27/04/2023 20:28

I think she left after about an hour! The other thing is, even if the colleague by some bizarre turn of events consented to this selfish lunacy, how the hell would the employer recruit someone else?

KateKateLee · 28/04/2023 14:33

Beth123456789 · 21/04/2023 15:47

Tell me about it, let's call flexible working agreement what they really are, I still want all the perks of a full time salary and workplace benefits, whilst only doing half my duties and and the other half seeing what I can sherk on to other people. I once had my scheduled days off changed to accommodate someone else's childcare arrangements and it was awful, I didn't see friends or family, it became quite isolating for a few months

My experience is the opposite of that. My contracted hours are now 4 days a week, I get paid for those 4 days. I still actually work 5 days a week and don't get paid for the 5th one but I work those hours at a time more convenient to me. When I went down to 4 days my workload didn't change, I still had to get the same amount done, I just got paid less for it. I think its the companies that take the mick not those with a flexible working request, but I guess that might depend on the industry. I would love to do half the work and get paid a full time salary, but that's not the reality.

Lucyislooking · 16/05/2023 15:36

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Tealsofa · 18/05/2023 11:09

KateKateLee · 28/04/2023 14:33

My experience is the opposite of that. My contracted hours are now 4 days a week, I get paid for those 4 days. I still actually work 5 days a week and don't get paid for the 5th one but I work those hours at a time more convenient to me. When I went down to 4 days my workload didn't change, I still had to get the same amount done, I just got paid less for it. I think its the companies that take the mick not those with a flexible working request, but I guess that might depend on the industry. I would love to do half the work and get paid a full time salary, but that's not the reality.

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I get paid for those 4 days. I still actually work 5 days a week and don't get paid for the 5th one but I work those hours at a time more convenient to me. When I went down to 4 days my workload didn't change, I still had to get the same amount done, I just got paid less for it.

So why are you doing it - stop doing it, and they ask why its not done, evidence not enough time

you're the only one losing out on this

KateKateLee · 18/05/2023 11:29

Tealsofa · 18/05/2023 11:09

I get paid for those 4 days. I still actually work 5 days a week and don't get paid for the 5th one but I work those hours at a time more convenient to me. When I went down to 4 days my workload didn't change, I still had to get the same amount done, I just got paid less for it.

So why are you doing it - stop doing it, and they ask why its not done, evidence not enough time

you're the only one losing out on this

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I would be seriously disadvantaging myself if I did that. You just need to do what it takes to get the job done otherwise you are a slacker and it affects your pay rise and bonus. Also, if I stuck to my hours I would only be able to do my boring main job. In the extra time I can get involved in more interesting work, that can advance my 'career'. I also get to work with a wider range of people to increase my network.