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Original poster

DH's colleague thwarting flex working request

541 replies

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:23

Hi all

We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁

DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am.

The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons.

The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

OP posts:
TooOldForThisNonsense · 12/04/2023 15:38

Inability to reorganise work amongst existing staff is a perfectly good reason to decline a FWR, and that’s the reason I would give if I were your husband’s manager.

it is totally unacceptable to force other people to change their working pattern to accommodate your H’s request

Binfluencer · 12/04/2023 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SnarkyBag · 12/04/2023 15:39

Well it’s a bit more than “colleague doesn’t like it” isn’t it? You’re asking for a complete (and negative) change to another employee’s working pattern for your own financial gain.

Allblackeverythingalways · 12/04/2023 15:41

Brefugee · 12/04/2023 15:26

If i were the colleague? I would tell them that if they try imposing the late shift on me permanently I'd want a hefty (and i mean massive) increase in salary or I'd walk. But then I'd walk anyway.

your absolute complete and utter reluctance to think of anyone but yourselves is unattractive, no matter if you're having twins or not.

I've had inconvenient shifts dumped on me like this before, it's horrendously unfair and I'd kick off too.

NashvilleQueen · 12/04/2023 15:41

Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

How would you see that panning out when the colleague suddenly finds his terms of employment changing for the worse without any explanation or consultation?

I really hope this is a pisstake thread.

IhearyouClemFandango · 12/04/2023 15:42

My workplace would have approved this for a set period, say when you are first going to back to work to allow for settling in etc, but not permanently.

Capitulatingpanda · 12/04/2023 15:42

I think the only way that it will get approved is if your DH can get his colleague on board with request.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 12/04/2023 15:45

Also long a lunch break do you get that you’d be able to collect the babies at 1 and wait for your husband to get back from work to start looking after them? Must be longer than the hour most employers provide?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 12/04/2023 15:47

I think it would make more sense to ask for 3 days on the early, 2 on the late so its the same each week as then you can sort chilrcare easier as you need the same every week.

Surely this only needs to be sorted once you're going back off mat leave anyway. And what is your plan B for if/when this is rejected?

Asking for the early permanently is so unreasonable 🤦🏼‍♀️

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 12/04/2023 15:49

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:23

Hi all

We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁

DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am.

The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons.

The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

Honestly that's the level of "unfair" which would cause good colleagues to leave if granted.

I used to work in a setting with earlies 6-2:30), days (8-6 but only at weekends), lates (2-10) and nights and nobody wanted the lates because they blick the day, you don't see your kids after school or partner after work, you can't cook for your kids or supervise homework or take them to sports training or music lessons or whatever, you can't go out in the evening , they're by far the worst shifts but attract no extra antisocial hours payment.

I did indeed leave (I work in a department which only has day shifts now) because more and more people on our fairly small team were being granted special arrangements, it isn't sustainable and I wasn't seeing my school aged children as much as I should have been if I'd been doing a fair mix of shifts.

My former boss has had to revoke some of the special arrangements as he couldn't recruit anyone qualified and suitable willing to take on the unfavourable shifts "left over" after the special arrangements people had their earlies and days cherry picked. He was having to cover with unqualified and agency staff which was boarderline dangerous.

ohsuzannah · 12/04/2023 15:49

I really hope they don't let you do this 😒

Original poster
mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:51

Thanks all for the pile up.
Yes I choose to get pregnant. No I didn't choose twins.
Will see what happens, if the request is no, then it's no. DH will have to leave his job and find another with set hours.
It took 4 years for the place to hire DH with the necessary niche skillset. So perhaps being understaffed for that amount of time is better, and the colleague will get to do all the shifts he wants.....🙄

OP posts:
Tealsofa · 12/04/2023 15:52

WishingMyLifeAway · 12/04/2023 15:29

Why should the other colleague have to do a shift permanently that doesn't suit him? Because it suits you? That significant a shift change is more than "inconvenient".

Exactly

tanyaturneristhegoat · 12/04/2023 15:52

If I was the other colleague, I'd ask for double the salary and double the holidays for the inconvenience of this absurd flexible working request

PricklyFoot · 12/04/2023 15:54

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:51

Thanks all for the pile up.
Yes I choose to get pregnant. No I didn't choose twins.
Will see what happens, if the request is no, then it's no. DH will have to leave his job and find another with set hours.
It took 4 years for the place to hire DH with the necessary niche skillset. So perhaps being understaffed for that amount of time is better, and the colleague will get to do all the shifts he wants.....🙄

Oh, you asked for advice and you're going to listen to none of it 😆

tanyaturneristhegoat · 12/04/2023 15:54

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:51

Thanks all for the pile up.
Yes I choose to get pregnant. No I didn't choose twins.
Will see what happens, if the request is no, then it's no. DH will have to leave his job and find another with set hours.
It took 4 years for the place to hire DH with the necessary niche skillset. So perhaps being understaffed for that amount of time is better, and the colleague will get to do all the shifts he wants.....🙄

I suggest he starts looking now, save the hassle when the babies arrive :)

PurBal · 12/04/2023 15:54

A decent employer will reject because it’s really unfair. I do know someone who does this but it’s a proper job share rather than a preference to a particular shift. I actually think the shift pattern is really workable, you just need to put them in full time rather than half day. I understand it’s financially difficult but that’s life. Assuming you’re taking your mat leave entitlement it’s only a few months before they’d both be entitled to free hours anyway. I think overall you’re really lucky.

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 15:54

He is more likely to get it approved if it volunteers to take the "worst" shift permanently. That will provide you with the stability needed to make nursery plans.

Madamecastafiore · 12/04/2023 15:54

Sorry why should the colleagues shift pattern be affected in a negative way for your DH to get what he wants and what suits your family?

And rowdy? So if he has an issue with this incredibly unfair proposition you're going to stick it on him being rowdy rather than understandably aggrieved?

Do you not realise how incredibly selfish you are being?

YaWeeFurryBastard · 12/04/2023 15:55

They will almost certainly decline this so time for him to look for a new job.

IhearyouClemFandango · 12/04/2023 15:55

Presumably the colleague is suitably 'niche'.

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 12/04/2023 15:55

GCAcademic · 12/04/2023 15:31

Mama username

Check

Twins.

Check

good point, I don't usually even look at usernames but yes...

Twins on a parenting forum are such a hairy handed cliché but then there are plenty of them about in the wild 😜

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 15:55

It took 4 years for the place to hire DH with the necessary niche skillset. So perhaps being understaffed for that amount of time is better, and the colleague will get to do all the shifts he wants.....🙄 that doesn't mean he gets to go demanding the better shift

Tarantullah · 12/04/2023 15:56

It wouldn't be a case of the colleague doing all the shifts that they want, it would be a case of them not being lumbered with all of the crappy shifts and would be a fundamental change to their working conditions. A business will also be longer sighted and consider whether that person leaves would it be easy to recruit someone else happy to work the worse hours.

Effieswig · 12/04/2023 15:57

So you are hoping they force a permanent crappy shift change on your dhs colleague and not tell the Until last minute.

Because your dh wants the ‘better’ shift and his afternoons?

You do realise that kids (twins or not) do not make a flexible working request more likely to succeed.