DH's colleague thwarting flex working request

[mamabeeboo]

Hi all

We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁

DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am.

The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons.

The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

They can absolutely decline it if it has an unfair impact on other staff unfortunately.

If i were the colleague? I would tell them that if they try imposing the late shift on me permanently I'd want a hefty (and i mean massive) increase in salary or I'd walk. But then I'd walk anyway.

your absolute complete and utter reluctance to think of anyone but yourselves is unattractive, no matter if you're having twins or not.

They can decline for whatever reason they want

Wow. Not short on entitlement, are you?

This has to be a joke but if it isn't. YABVU. If I were your colleague I'd kick up a huge fuss about it.

Why should the other colleague have to do a shift permanently that doesn't suit him? Because it suits you? That significant a shift change is more than "inconvenient".

You're saying 'tough shit if you don't like it' to his colleague. How horrible.

There is absolutely no way I would agree to this request and disadvantage one staff member so that another can gain financially. Just no way. In fact I'd be very disappointed to be asked, that a colleague could make a request that disadvantages another so badly.

The only way I can see it working is if DH offers to permanently take the afternoon shift - you could still have half day childcare.

That said, I think you're putting the request in too early. Once the babies arrive, you could change your plans completely. The one thing that is certain about having DC is that it won't be how you imagined it will!

Surely a reverse? No one is this entitled!

But just in case it isn't, YABVU. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and your DP's job sharer's partner had just had a baby and the boss instructed your DP to do the late shift indefinitely just to keep the colleagues childcare costs down.

I doubt very much it would go down well.

Of course they can decline it! Come on, you expect the colleague to place himself at detriment and take on the shitty shift to save you money and you're in a bit of a stepping because he may not?

So your DH gets afternoons free every day and the colleague is supposed to just suck it up because you are having babies?
It would be a shitty employer who agreed to that, regardless of whether the colleague objected or not.

Mama username

Check

Twins.

Check

Do you have a plan B @mamabeeboo ? Employers do have to CONSIDERING flexible working requests, but they don’t have to grant them if the outcome would be detrimental to the business and the workforce as a whole, which it sounds like this might be.

Bearing in mind that you can’t submit multiple requests in a row, is there another request you can make instead that might stand a better chance of being granted? 6 -2s on set days of the week for example, which would still give you some savings on nursery fees?

Happened with a former colleague, the form asked what the impact would be on the wider team. The request was declined, I’m not sure it was for those reasons alone, but it was deemed not to meet the business needs.

Theres no way I’d want to get stuck with crap shifts all the time. I do alternate weekends and lates every other week, I’d leave if I was on permanent lates/weekends.

It would be reasonable for your DH to ask for say the early shift on 2 or 3 set days a week but not all shifts - from the staff setup you describe.

Out of interest - how would you feel if it was the other way round? Unless this is a reverse. A colleague wants your husband to indefinitely do the 'worse' shift. You wouldn't be happy about that, no?

Could you not suggest that your husband does the early shift mon-wed and late thur/fri. Then you still save 3 days but college doesn't have so much of an inconvenience.

Yup.

This should be put on the cheeky fucker thread.

Hilarious that you think someone else should be massively inconvenienced and have their own contract changed to suit your life.

Oh wow.
So you choose to have children and your husbands colleague has to make sacrifices to suit you? How about asking the colleague to buy the pram too? See how well that goes down

I wouldn't submit the request until closer to when you return to work, as you can't repeatedly submit them. The colleague has every right to be annoyed, he's not 'twarting' it. More likely they'll consider DH getting the early shift on 2-3 days a week, and that would still help with nursery.

Of course the colleague finds that inconvenient.
I actually think the suggestion of having set days of the week is a good one and I'd prefer that myself in terms of making plans but of course you can't expect a colleague to significantly change their working pattern to suit your change in lifestyle.

Crazy thought I know , but why doesn’t your husband talk to his colleague and see what would suit them both ? He might be happy doing 3 days of the later shifts on set days , but if your husband just puts a request in without discussing it first I’d expect the colleague to stick his heels in and refuse . Also this seems very early to be putting the request in , if babies aren’t due for 2 months , not a criticism if you aren’t, but I assume you are taking some mat leave after as well , so nursery will be months off.

'Colleague doesn't like it' surely isn't about cases like this. That would be when a colleague is irrationally miffed about you having flexi working when they don't. Not about when the flexi working has a huge impact on their working patterns. That has to be taken into consideration and not dismissed. Indeed if colleague's contracted hours are the alternating shifts, then how can employer change it just for your DP? They have no obligation and likely no inclination to start changing other people's working conditions to suit you.

@mamabeeboo if you've not even submitted the request and you want to keep that you are hidden from the colleague, in what way is the colleague 'thwarting' it?