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Original poster

DH's colleague thwarting flex working request

541 replies

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:23

Hi all

We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁

DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am.

The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons.

The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 12/04/2023 16:30

They can decline.

The other thing to consider would be to ask for set shifts set days.

So each week he does 3 6-2 shifts and 2 9-5.

This will help with planning nursery.

2chocolateoranges · 12/04/2023 16:31

There is no reason that the company will accept this. It’s unfair to the other Employee. There is no way that any excuse for the flexible working will be accepted by the company!

how annoyed would you feel if your oh was expected to do the other shift as someone always wanted the early shift I’m sure you would be livid!

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 16:31

itsgettingweird · 12/04/2023 16:30

They can decline.

The other thing to consider would be to ask for set shifts set days.

So each week he does 3 6-2 shifts and 2 9-5.

This will help with planning nursery.

Yes I think that is the better option. And colleague can choose what days.

MimiSunshine · 12/04/2023 16:31

Do they officially job share or is just shift rotation and one does early when the other does lates etc?

if the former, then yes the colleague can just say no to asking for changes to the job share hours.

If the latter then it’s a bit different, yes wider impact has to be considered and that includes the person on the other shift but it is still not quite the same as the job share scenario.

i wouldn’t mention or try to solutionise for the other shift / colleague in the application. Just focus on DHs own reasons and crucially why he feels it will either benefit or at least not impact the business.
maybe continuity of the same person doing the same hours / same clients / same processes etc.
I would include a split week scenario in the application as another option too.

maybe you’ll get lucky and the other person would be happy to do the lates but never thought to ask.

it’s not unreasonable on your DH part to put the request in. It’s just up to the business to balance it with the rest of the staff.

Springclean8 · 12/04/2023 16:31

By law, your employer can turn down your flexible working request if:

it will cost too much
they cannot reorganise the work among other staff
they cannot recruit more staff
there will be a negative effect on quality
there will be a negative effect on the business’ ability to meet customer demand
there will be a negative effect on performance
there’s not enough work for you to do when you’ve requested to work
there are planned changes to the business, for example, your employer plans to reorganise or change the business and thinks the request will not fit with these plans

sheusesmagazines · 12/04/2023 16:31

I think I would have your DH speak to his colleague first and guage if he'd be interested in a change and if so, what? Maybe he would be interested in set days.

Just as an antecdote, my partner did something similar except he was one amongst a much larger team of people so it didn't affect the others as directly. He was also senior and a manager so it wasn't a big issue initially. However, eventually it didn't sit well with one of the junior members of the team (she joined later) - she felt it was hugely unfair. She ended up making a baseless complaint about him that went to a disciplinary and made his life hell. Nothing happened and eventually she was moved elsewhere but it was hugely stressful - he could have been sacked.

Womencanlift · 12/04/2023 16:32

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 16:16

Just to answer a few questions here:

I asked how best to submit the working request, I didn't ask if IABU nor did I post this on that thread.

The plan b we have is that DH will have to leave his job as a double set of nursery fees costs more than he earns.

Looking at the gov website, there are only a few reasons for the request rejection (such as if it costs the company money), so will have a think about how best to approach the "impact on other colleagues" part. I already have some ideas for this, such as usually the person that does this later shift leaves early because everything is pretty much done by 4pm, so the extra hour is spent paid whilst you go home. Whereas the early shift, you do stay for the whole time, so it's pros and cons with both shifts.

We want to submit the request soon, so that we have time to add the twins to the long nursery waiting lists etc, and we know where we stand in terms of finances, planning etc .

DH working the later 9-5pm shift still means paying 2 sets of nursery fees, so this won't work for us.

It's not about pinning the problem on the other colleague, it's simply a request, if the answer is no, then it's no.

And DH isn't going to be having free afternoons on the morning shift, he will be looking after the twins.

So now you are going to suggest to a company how they run their business? Suggesting that their employee goes home an hour early - that is batshit

Nobody’s problem but yours and your DH’s. Nothing to do with his colleagues or company how you manage your childcare

You are definitely a CF of the highest degree

MaroonCow · 12/04/2023 16:32

And twins, too!

ReliantRobyn · 12/04/2023 16:33

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 16:16

Just to answer a few questions here:

I asked how best to submit the working request, I didn't ask if IABU nor did I post this on that thread.

The plan b we have is that DH will have to leave his job as a double set of nursery fees costs more than he earns.

Looking at the gov website, there are only a few reasons for the request rejection (such as if it costs the company money), so will have a think about how best to approach the "impact on other colleagues" part. I already have some ideas for this, such as usually the person that does this later shift leaves early because everything is pretty much done by 4pm, so the extra hour is spent paid whilst you go home. Whereas the early shift, you do stay for the whole time, so it's pros and cons with both shifts.

We want to submit the request soon, so that we have time to add the twins to the long nursery waiting lists etc, and we know where we stand in terms of finances, planning etc .

DH working the later 9-5pm shift still means paying 2 sets of nursery fees, so this won't work for us.

It's not about pinning the problem on the other colleague, it's simply a request, if the answer is no, then it's no.

And DH isn't going to be having free afternoons on the morning shift, he will be looking after the twins.

I cannot believe that you think this request will get approved! How inconvenient of your husband's colleague to want a fair shift pattern.

lanthanum · 12/04/2023 16:35

The company can't suddenly impose a change of shift pattern on the colleague just because someone else asks. The only way they're going to say yes is if the two of them are agreed on a change. He needs to talk to his colleague, and see how he'd feel about a pattern that is the same every week. If he's amenable, then when he puts in the flexible working request, he can say that his colleague is open to the idea.

Because you can only make one request a year, it's a good idea to have sounded people out to try and make sure it has the best chance of being accepted.

amylou8 · 12/04/2023 16:36

You and your very important niche skilled DH should absolutely get what you want because you're having TWINS. I'm sure the other employee won't mind getting end of it, he'll realise how much more important you are now you have TWINS.

strawberry2017 · 12/04/2023 16:36

Is there only 2 people doing these shifts? How does it work if someone books holidays? One of the shifts would be uncovered then?

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 16:36

strawberry2017 · 12/04/2023 16:36

Is there only 2 people doing these shifts? How does it work if someone books holidays? One of the shifts would be uncovered then?

Yeah or gets ill

Iwasafool · 12/04/2023 16:37

Is the shift pattern in their contracts? If it is then that will be the big problem.

VickyEadieofThigh · 12/04/2023 16:37

amylou8 · 12/04/2023 16:36

You and your very important niche skilled DH should absolutely get what you want because you're having TWINS. I'm sure the other employee won't mind getting end of it, he'll realise how much more important you are now you have TWINS.

The OP's husband has such rare niche skills that he's not paid enough to cover childcare fees, too.

newmum1976 · 12/04/2023 16:38

I don’t understand why you are getting such a hard time. There isn’t a late shift. There is an early shift( probably less desirable to most people), which your husband is willing to work, and a normal 9-5 shift which most people would probably prefer. I’d have thought most employers would be fine with this arrangement. Unless of course you know the other employee prefers the early shift, in which case you need to arrange a split of the early shifts so it’s fair.

HappinessDragon · 12/04/2023 16:39

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 16:36

Yeah or gets ill

Show quote history

Or says "Off you fuck father of twins ".

Iwasafool · 12/04/2023 16:39

I don't know if it's just me but I'd prefer a 9 am start, starting work at 6 am means being up by about 4.30 in many cases, getting dressed/showered, breakfast, journey to work. Honestly DH used to do it and we both found it a pain.

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 16:39

VickyEadieofThigh · 12/04/2023 16:37

The OP's husband has such rare niche skills that he's not paid enough to cover childcare fees, too.

Show quote history

I did think that

daisybrown37 · 12/04/2023 16:40

I don’t see what your DH can put in his request to ensure it is accepted. They cannot change someone else’s contract of employment because your DH wants to change there. (Unless the colleague was willing).

If they accepted it every other week they would have no cover from 2pm to 5pm. Your DH will have to look at suggestions on how this is covered, that does not involve his colleague.

breakingintopieces · 12/04/2023 16:41

The OP has decided that 6am to 2pm is the worse shift... but honestly, I'd prefer to work 9am to 5pm. Can't DH just ask the colleague which shift he prefers and take it from there? This might be a complete non-issue...

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 12/04/2023 16:44

Personally I would prefer 9 - 5. Getting up before 5am on a regular basis to be at work for 6 - sod that for a game of soldiers😁

I mention this because it might be worth the OP's DH sounding the other colleague out rather than assuming the 6 - 2 shift will be seen as undesirable.

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 12/04/2023 16:44

x-post with @breakingintopieces

Womencanlift · 12/04/2023 16:44

newmum1976 · 12/04/2023 16:38

I don’t understand why you are getting such a hard time. There isn’t a late shift. There is an early shift( probably less desirable to most people), which your husband is willing to work, and a normal 9-5 shift which most people would probably prefer. I’d have thought most employers would be fine with this arrangement. Unless of course you know the other employee prefers the early shift, in which case you need to arrange a split of the early shifts so it’s fair.

I think it’s the level of entitlement that OP is showing is the reason for the hard time.

That people not related to the OP may have to switch their lives around indefinitely to accommodate the fact that the OP got pregnant

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 12/04/2023 16:45

mamabeeboo · 12/04/2023 15:51

Thanks all for the pile up.
Yes I choose to get pregnant. No I didn't choose twins.
Will see what happens, if the request is no, then it's no. DH will have to leave his job and find another with set hours.
It took 4 years for the place to hire DH with the necessary niche skillset. So perhaps being understaffed for that amount of time is better, and the colleague will get to do all the shifts he wants.....🙄

You’re sarcastically saying that if they refuse you then at least the colleague will get to work all the shifts they want…. Do you see the irony? You want your husband to work all the shifts he wants and leave the other guy with the constant shitty hours.