SAHM back to work support thread

[GlumyGloomer]

Wondering if any other SAHM's are thinking of getting back to work/retraining? I'm finding it terrifying, and looking for a safe space to chat.

I'm in the fortunate position that I can take a couple of years to retrain before needing to get a job. This seemed like a great way to overcome the CV gap, and I was quite excited about having a profession. A road block's come up as the course provider informed me at the last minute that I need a mentor to shadow whilst doing the course. Tomorrow I have to start phoning around to see if anyone might be interested in letting a random dumpy late thirties mum (pretty sure it would be an easier sell if I was attractive) tag along with them at work for 2 years.
After 6 years at home my confidence is on the floor, I can barely remember what made me employable, let alone convince anyone else 😫

Go for it @Outandup

I totally know how you feel!

Even if you don't get it, it will be good application and possibly interview practice.

I was very lucky, a previous boss hired me for a remote role. They knew and liked me so were happy to fit in with my hours. It was only temporary but it gave me the start I needed.

Thanks @Aria999 , last driving lesson went better. I've got a test booked for July, as it's currently a six month wait here. We shall see...

@Outandup I've found being a SAHM absolutely decimated my self esteem. I never realised before how much work was part of my identity. I'm retraining for financial reasons, but I used to do lab work. I feel quite sad that those skills probably won't be used again, and like an imposter on my surveying course (although around a third of us don't have a property background).
Definitely apply for the job, even the experience of doing the application will be useful, and you never know!

Good luck with your July test @GlumyGloomer That's a crazy wait!

Feeling down today as I had a bumpy experience with a 1 hour project yesterday and none of my other proposals have generated anything.

Trying to get through an online vba course but it's hard to concentrate. I know most of it so trying to skip to the bits I don't know.

Ah, sorry you had a hard day, @Aria999 . Good luck with your course!
I'm taking a short break from studying, as I've got a bad a cough and managed to pull a muscle in my chest thanks to it. So I'm resting as much as the kids will allow for a few days.

I'm feeling very homesick today, as I was due to go and meet with some friends but just couldn't face the travel today. It's hard, as our house, area and local school are all quite nice, and as far as the kids are concerned this is home, but it's costing me decades long friendships and it hurts.
How long have you been in America?

@GlumyGloomer are you a long way from home?

We have been here 7 years.

There is a nasty cough going around, I had one for weeks after Christmas

@Aria999 the pathetic thing is we're only 2 hours from where we started. With older kids it wouldn't be a big deal, but with 2 small ones on public transport it's stressful to do as a day trip, and I can't cope if already run down. My kids are little sods at bedtime so staying over feels like a huge imposition, and I can't afford a hotel.
We've been here 3 years so far. Seven is quite a while, are you completely settled now?

Sorry for whinging on, thanks for listening.

@GlumyGloomer you're welcome!

I can see why you want to drive. I think you may find it very liberating. It's a pity it's such a long wait for a test though as that puts a lot of pressure on to pass.

Depending what the cancellation fees are you could consider booking a couple more tests for August and September and cancel lung if you don't need them. Then you wouldn't feel massive pressure to pass in July.

And we were just getting settled in Los Angeles but after 3 years we moved to Pittsburgh and then the pandemic hit, so I like it here but I don't know anyone still

Hope those of you who have found roles have settled in nicely.

I'm returning to work (full-time) after a several years of being a SAHM and changing career at the same time so a bit nervous. I've got a few weeks before I start so trying to put things in place to make it a smooth adjustment for myself and family (primary-aged DC).

Can I ask those who returned to work what things they put in place to prepare for the adjustment? I've sorted out my work wardrobe, will be getting a few bits of make-up and thinking of batch cooking to make it easier for the first few weeks. Also need to find out about school clubs in case I need emergency childcare. Looking for a cleaner. Any other tips? TIA.

Hi @TaxiMax congrats and good luck in your new role.

My main advice is that your kids will be sick or school will be closed at the most inconvenient times possible. Robust contingency plans are needed!

Cleaner is a good one, preferably one who doesn't mind tidying or working round mess. I mostly stopped having the cleaner as I spent a whole day tidying up for them, now I get a deep clean every few months and just try to do bits and pieces where I can in the gaps.

Thanks for the tips @Aria999 . My work is hybrid so really hoping(🙏!) work will be understanding and let me swap around wfh days if DC are ill or like this week when school was closed for 2 days due to the strike. I might have this conversation on my first day so they are forewarned 😬.

I think the deep clean every couple of months would suit us more too tbh. A brilliant idea, thanks 🙂.

Hi @TaxiMax , congratulations on your new job, hope it all goes well. We currently get a cleaner just for the bathrooms and stairs (the bits that aren't cluttered), and it does help a lot.
I'm still wading through my diploma, so can't offer any advice on actual return to work 😅

@Aria999 how are things going with the freelancing?

Hi @GlumyGloomer it could be worse!

On the plus side I have managed to get 3 serious contracts (only about 2 weeks each) plus a smattering of other stuff, since my original client stopped needing me.

Which is nearly as much work as I have had time for. I have had a few weeks where I wanted something but couldn't get anything. It's tricky around transitions as I can't look for work too close to a holiday or other commitment and I haven't got the hang of looking in advance as we get to the end of a holiday.

On the minus side it's very boom and bust. I am either workless or crazy busy. I am working every hour I can find at the moment including evenings after the kids are in bed.

Also, I have imposter syndrome.

I shouldn't complain, it's basically working out pretty well all things considered.

@Aria999 that all sounds good to me, apart from the imposter syndrome, but I'm sure that will go.
I have not done very well this year, although hopefully I will be able to catch up once the youngest starts school in September.

Can anyone help with my CV? I got help writing my CV from a job club at the library, and the job person who helped has put SAHM and the skills I have gained from being one (10 years being one) but a few relatives are saying take it off it doesnt look good as it is jobs that all mums do, working or not:
What did you all do about your CV?

@norwichmummy123 unfortunately I think the general consensus is you can't put parenting skills on a cv.

Crazy I know! They will probably be useful in an actual job.

But either the person hiring you is a parent (in which case they have been there but don't think the skills are super special because they do it themselves every day) or they're not, in which case they don't get it and also if you highlight being a parent they will worry about you wanting to leave on time and take days off when the kids are sick.

There may be some specific things can pick out, eg did you do volunteering, organize events at school, etc?