SAHM back to work support thread

[GlumyGloomer]

Wondering if any other SAHM's are thinking of getting back to work/retraining? I'm finding it terrifying, and looking for a safe space to chat.

I'm in the fortunate position that I can take a couple of years to retrain before needing to get a job. This seemed like a great way to overcome the CV gap, and I was quite excited about having a profession. A road block's come up as the course provider informed me at the last minute that I need a mentor to shadow whilst doing the course. Tomorrow I have to start phoning around to see if anyone might be interested in letting a random dumpy late thirties mum (pretty sure it would be an easier sell if I was attractive) tag along with them at work for 2 years.
After 6 years at home my confidence is on the floor, I can barely remember what made me employable, let alone convince anyone else 😫

Mine was advertised on the NHS jobs website and also indeed I think. Keep a look out! I think they are creating more roles to deal with the high rise of mental Illness but also it increases patient care overall so definitely a worthwhile job and can lead to other things in the future.

@Caroffee quite a lot of people seem have one parent either not working or working flexibly.

There's a big summer camp industry (not actually camps until they are older, more like holiday club). In February you start booking up the whole summer at a variety of camps. Then you need wrap around care if you work full time.

@ThisisCollie2022 Hi, sorry you're finding it tough. Re the transferable skills, I found it easy to pick out mine once I had a new career in mind. Hopefully that NHS role you liked will appear near you.

It's mad that taking time off to raise kids is still so stigmatised. Somebody has to look after small kids, why the hell shouldn't it be the mum?

@GlumyGloomer thanks for your message. I live in the SW and have just had confirmation that there's no training or vacancies in the NHS for what I wanted to do (there were 3 roles that i was interested in!). The nearest is in the next county and a good few hours away.

Can see why the NHS is so understaffed :( so gutted and back to square one.

Or dad, obviously.

How are you getting on now? I think if that person is meant to be your supervisor they will soon see she’s not pulling her weight.

I have identified a bit of a blame culture in our office. It stems from the manager down unfortunately. I’ve been blamed for a few things now even though we initial everything and my name wasn’t on the accounts in question. It’s starting to get annoying. I’m like a simmering pot! I have noticed this week that the other two admins in the office are getting as annoyed as I am, it’s just so full on, no time for a break, give give give. On Friday when one of them was on break my manager who was working from home, called and started saying she shouldn’t have taken a break until her work was done. It was 1 o clock and she finished at 5. When she called her back she was all over her telling her to leave early, blah blah. I think she’s a bit two faced.

Had a better week thanks. It’s getting less overwhelming every day. Still a lot of responsibility which I’m not used to but giving it time. I know I’ll be so happy when I get my first full pay this month.

Ahhh you’ll never get away from things like that. I guess just keep your head down and don’t get sucked into it all is the best way.

Hi all, feeling a bit overwhelmed and miserable tonight. Dd2 started nursery last week. After a rocky first drop off she's settled in really well. I'm now trying to find a babysitter for my first live class in October, and I still feel absolutely sick about it. I'm worried too about the course, and if I can keep up. It's less than a month away, and I just wish I'd never signed up in the first place.

Sorry to hear that. I understand the sick feeling… that’s my life 😅

Try take your mind off it for now if you can, and give it a go! If it really doesn’t work out you can always do something else but you never know!

Good luck @GlumyGloomer

It's very understandable to wish you hadn't booked it but i think some day you will look back on this as a milestone achievement!

Yes the paycheque will make it worthwhile 😍glad it’s going better

Thanks Mol and Aria. Arranging a babysitter is so bloody stressful. My friends would think absolutely nothing of doing it, but the thought of my shy little 3yo missing me just breaks my heart. I'm also terrified of hiring someone bad because I don't know what I'm doing!

@GlumyGloomer

You could do one or two settling in sessions with the babysitter where you are either in the house or very nearby, before the actual day you need them?

I always used sitters.co.uk and got some good people, you can read the reviews from other parents to get a sense of their personality.

DS normally loved having a babysitter because they are normally much more proactive about entertaining him than I am!

@Aria999 at the moment I'm being a cheap skate and looking on Childcare.co.uk (no fee), got 2 possible candidates but both new to the site so not many reviews yet, sigh. Yes, hope to do a settling session. Dd2 is so painfully shy, first day of nursery she announced at pick up that she had talked to the teacher. It was a big deal for her.
Is sitters worth the membership?

Unless it's gone up, it's only £5 per month (paid quarterly), which doesn't seem that much compared to the cost of childcare. I always found it very good.

When we return to the uk and need babysitting I sign up again then cancel when we go. They keep your account so you can just use it when you need it and suspend it in between (I don't think they give you a partial refund of the £25 though),

*of the £15 that should say. For a quarter.

@Aria999 well we did go with Sitters in the end. After weeks spent trying to find someone good on the free sites we just weren't confident enough in any of them.
My course induction was today. I felt utterly brain dead after 4 hours on the computer, goodness knows what I'm going to do with the 8 hour session next month. Now I've got a number of online models to complete, goodness knows when exactly. Half term next week, and I intend to move out of the toddler's room for good, and get her sleeping sorted. Fingers crossed...
2 driving lessons so far, going OK and starting to believe I can actually do it. Behind on studying for the theory though. I've got to stop doing general errands during nursery hours. So much that needs doing though, sigh.

How's everyone else doing?

Sounds like you’re doing great @GlumyGloomer it’s important to find someone you can trust. Hard though. Go with your gut instinct is usually best.

I’m doing ok. Crying less now. Exhausted but feeling a bit more comfortable. I would like to find a bit more balance between work and home whilst still earning enough money but that’s the holy grail isn’t it that everyone wants!

@GlumyGloomer glad you found a sitter!

The theory test isn't too bad unless they have changed it. The amount of material is not enormous, if necessary you can pack it into short term memory and forget it later.

I am depressed about the whole returning to work thing at the moment, I really want something flexible (e.g. contract work) as I want more annual leave than I would get in a permanent job (two weeks out here normally).

DD daycare ends at 5 so I can't even do 9-5 without wrap around care. DH will help when he is here but he travels. They are trying to extend to 5:30 but they don't know when.

And what I would really like to do is a slight career shift. I am a data and modeling focused commercial accountant and I want to be a data analyst. But the constraints on my availability are death to it. It seems almost impossible to find even a full time role that doesn't want 5 years experience. Or even to find flexible work in my core area of experience.

Feeling a bit lost and unemployable.

@Mol1628 glad you are finding things a bit better. Hopefully soon there'll be no crying.

@Aria999 2 weeks AL is so short! Sounds tough to manage around child care, especially with the 5pm finish.
Have you considered going into data science? It's a shortage area, and with the way the tech keeps evolving long years experience aren't worth so much. Modeling is a good transferable skill too.

@GlumyGloomer thanks for the suggestion! I fear I am not mathsy enough.

I don't know statistics, I have an English literature degree... (if I ever manage the data analysis thing it will have to be by convincing them that an ACA qualification counts in place of a numerate BA degree, which they all seem to want).

Ah well, maybe not that then, (tbf I couldn't do it either, it's Dh who's done very well switching to data science).
Keep going, I'm sure the right opportunity will present itself.

It was interesting meeting (virtually) the other students on my course yesterday. It was a fairly even split between people with a relevant back ground and total randoms like myself. I was the only sahm though 😏

@Aria999 I dont want to trivialise your job search, but Indeed has advertised 11 fully remote roles with "Data Analyst" job title in the last two weeks.

Fully remote roles may have great flexibility - don't be put off applying; get an amazing CV together and apply for everything! If nothing else you'll get agents joining you and they will help.