SAHM back to work support thread

[GlumyGloomer]

Wondering if any other SAHM's are thinking of getting back to work/retraining? I'm finding it terrifying, and looking for a safe space to chat.

I'm in the fortunate position that I can take a couple of years to retrain before needing to get a job. This seemed like a great way to overcome the CV gap, and I was quite excited about having a profession. A road block's come up as the course provider informed me at the last minute that I need a mentor to shadow whilst doing the course. Tomorrow I have to start phoning around to see if anyone might be interested in letting a random dumpy late thirties mum (pretty sure it would be an easier sell if I was attractive) tag along with them at work for 2 years.
After 6 years at home my confidence is on the floor, I can barely remember what made me employable, let alone convince anyone else 😫

I’m starting work after 8 years off. Can’t wait. I’ve never enjoyed being a SAHM. I originally applied for Part time but I was offered a full time role and I couldn’t say no. Really need the money anyway.

I was a young mum so I’ve only ever worked casual/student jobs so full time is going to be a big shock to the system.

Hello, can I join too!just got a job after 15 (!) years. How did it go so quickly? Like you guys I am very terrified and in shock that someone actually wants to employ me.

Ah nice one @Whoops1 well done!

I know that feeling well. I have got a real grown up persons job it’s weird!

Does anyone have advice on courses I can do now to fill in cv gap (been 8 years sahm) I used to do admin and would to go back to admin or office role. Is excel and word too obvious?

I’m several years in on the other side now- you can do it! I was a SAHM for 5 years and had been out of my field for 7 years after a redundancy. Best advice is fake it till you make it! I started back at work in a low paid admin role but have made a few strategic moves back into my field and am now earning more than I ever have. Not going to lie, it’s been hard at times, and there have been tears and moments where I have felt totally out of my depth. But I’ve kept going and used spare time to read up to get back up to speed. The combination of perseverance and a bit of luck has paid off (plus ignoring those who said I couldn’t do it!).

This is good advice thanks. I’ve done the same taken an entry level role. I hope it works out ok for me, I’m assuming you don’t regret it!

Oh and my best advice- don’t list SAHM skills on your CV or talk about how being home and looking after kids is a skill set (it absolutely is!) as unfortunately the corporate world won’t view it favourably. Just mention you have strong organisational skills and cope well under pressure. Listing excel and word is a good start!

I had 9 years out of work raising my 3 when they were little. I completed an OU degree and managed to get a 1st. I’ve never struggled to get a job and I’ve had a few upon my return as I couldn’t settle.

I am settled now and those years are already just a lovely memory. So glad I had them but if I could go back I would tell myself not to worry about the return to work. I really wish I never worried about it and just fully enjoyed the SAHM life, so that’s my advice to you all.

@Mol1628 I don’t regret it at all. It’s been tough but I love being financially independent again and knowing I can support us if life throws a curve ball. DH is very supportive which helps and I’ve made some new friends. It’s nice to be someone other than ‘mum’ too.

Thanks @Metalandtea I’m ready for the challenge and my husband is supportive so it’s all good. Mainly worried about how tired I’m going to be 🤣

Well done for going for it ladies. I am almost 3 years in after returning to work with a 10 year gap as a sahm and it has been really hard but I loved going back.

I've excelled in my job, been promoted and am now starting a course for a qualification in my sector (which terrifies me tbh).

Us sahm are a credit to employers, if anyone knows how to juggle plates it's a mum!! Those skills are more valuable than you think.

This is a great thread ! I have been a SAHM for nearly 8 years!
I don’t want to go back into the profession I was in as I’d love to work with children .
My DS is only 11 weeks old so I am planning on enrolling on some courses for September that I can do at home at my own pace !

Well done ladies for getting back out there ! It’s super scary and I am anxious about it too ! But we got this !

Me too o am 8
Years out and going to be doing courses to add to CV. Good luck to you! It's exciting!

Good luck to you too !

It's daunting, isn't it @GlumyGloomer when you're about to embark on a course of study after a long break? I remember when my first set of course books arrived from the OU and I was both really excited and rather daunted. It's amazing how the mind remembers how to study though, even after a long break. I didn't know if I could even write an essay any more, but it turns out I can! Good luck with both your studying and your driving lessons. They're very different and most people only have one or two lessons per week, so you should have head space for both.

@GypsyWanderer how are you doing? I know what you mean about your comfort zone. I love my life as a SAHM! I run with a group of women, I do a class I love, I have plenty of time to shop, cook, read, garden, meet friends - and that is all going to disappear. But then I look at the good stuff too - I have a massive inferiority complex about not working and when I say I don't work to new people I meet I see their eyes glaze over and the judgement descend. It's fucking horrible, tbh. I feel worthless, lazy and unproductive. Plus, MN keeps telling women like me that our DHs will die or divorce us and we'll live in poverty, so if I manage to work for another 10 or 15 years before I retire I figure that might keep me out of the workhouse in my old age

I'm studying Environmental Science and I have two main options at this point - either go back into investment banking in the ESG space (Environmental, Social & Governance), or work as an environmental consultant. I think I'd prefer the latter, but DH thinks I can earn much more in the former. The problem is, I worked in banking all my career and did this course to get away from it! After 15 years out of work though, it will almost certainly be easier to go back into a business I know and already have on my CV ... I think I'm going to fully investigate both and hopefully do some work experience and see which I prefer.

Your story is really inspiring @Nidan2Sandan. I hope I love going back too.

i was a SAHM for 7 years, then worked very part time hours in a school job to fit round home life for the next 9 years.
I’m now 18months into working full time back in my old career (in the NHS) and loving every minute! Although many years have passed, I feel more equipped to do my job than ever before, more confidence too. It took a bit of getting used to at the start, juggling home and work, but somehow it all works.

@maranella i definitely also have an inferiority complex and it feels better to be working for sure!

I had a really rough week last week. To keep things brief for clarity, I work for the NHS and my manager is at one site and I worked at another. The other site I was working at was very toxic. For 2 weeks I was undermined, belittled by the boss at the site (who isn’t my boss) and when I told my actual manager we confronted her about it. I thought it would get better then but when my manager left, the boss said some personal things about me that were really hurtful. I now realise she was bullying me but I didn’t realise at the time, or at least I did but didn’t want to make a fuss. My manager has pulled me out and she isn’t sending me back there so I’ll be at a different site which is a relief but the whole experience has been horrible so far.

@maranella another with an inferiority complex. Ive
stopped going to husbands work events as I just felt like a lower being just a wife. Hated it. I also dread the small talk at appointments etc, where do you work ALWAYS comes up.

Onwards and upwards hopefully.

@GypsyWanderer that sounds like a really unpleasant experience. I'm glad you have a good boss who supported you and got you out of there. I bet your bully is notorious and because you're new you hadn't heard. I hope things improve now you're away from her.

It's depressing isn't it @Mol1628, how women are only valued in society if they work.

It really is depressing. My husband thinks
im just imagining things and it doesn’t matter what people think but I see the same as you. Eyes glaze over. Expression drops. Every time!

@GypsyWanderer sorry you had to go through that. This is the sort of thing I’m fearful of now I actually have a job I’m worried it’ll all be awful.

I don’t think my experience is common so I wouldn’t worry too much ❤️

Thanks. You were an adult and got it sorted. That’s what I need to do. I’m good at running from problems not solving them.

I’m the same. I didn’t even want to tell anyone what was happening but I’m so glad I did. If it happened to you, you’d do the same and it would be sorted. There’s a lot to this getting a job after so long that has made me feel like a child again.

I can absolutely relate to it making you feel like a child again. It’s like you’ve been in charge of your life for so long managing a house and children then suddenly you’re out of your depth dealing with situations that feel much bigger than you are.