SAHM back to work support thread

[GlumyGloomer]

Wondering if any other SAHM's are thinking of getting back to work/retraining? I'm finding it terrifying, and looking for a safe space to chat.

I'm in the fortunate position that I can take a couple of years to retrain before needing to get a job. This seemed like a great way to overcome the CV gap, and I was quite excited about having a profession. A road block's come up as the course provider informed me at the last minute that I need a mentor to shadow whilst doing the course. Tomorrow I have to start phoning around to see if anyone might be interested in letting a random dumpy late thirties mum (pretty sure it would be an easier sell if I was attractive) tag along with them at work for 2 years.
After 6 years at home my confidence is on the floor, I can barely remember what made me employable, let alone convince anyone else 😫

Thanks @MrsMinted 😊

@GlumyGloomer good you are getting started! What course is it?

Hi

l found this thread and have read it with great interest. So lovely to read how supportive and understanding everyone has been.

have been a SAHM for 16 years and been really happy but now feel time for something new (also DH badgering me to go back to work as DS’s teens now)

Problem is have no idea where to start, background has been PR, event management, PA, IT project manager (last job and hated it). Also I think a lack of confidence is not helping me either.

@Aria999 sorry for the slow reply, it's residential surveying and valuation. The job is well paid, flexible and in demand. I only hope I've got enough neuro-plasticity left to learn it all...
I'm actually behind straight out of the gate, because of half term, so feeling very anxious about it all right now.

Hi @Sandgroper welcome to the thread. Are you planning to go back into events management or try something new? I agree that confidence is a huge issue, I'm certainly struggling with it right now.

Hi GlumyGlomer

thanks for the welcome. I think out of all my jobs I loved Events Management the most, even though it was hugely stressful but very rewarding at the same time! Not sure if the hours would be conducive to family life as it was a lot of weekend work/long hours, also before I had kids.

was thinking more of a part time role to begin with. Not even sure what field, I have loads of varied skills but a bit nervous on the IT aside of things as haven’t used excel etc for years. Is it like riding a bike or has it widely changed?

your journey sounds both terrifying and thrilling at the same time! Well done to you for going for it. Had to laugh at the “fake it till you make it”. With age comes wisdom hey….

@Sandgroper definitely terrifying, and probably foolhardy 😅

I'm going out with my mentor for the first time tomorrow. Dh is giving up his lunch break to pick up dd2 as I won't be back in time.
I am totally bricking it, not just because I'd like to make a good impression, but because I'm worried I'll discover that actually the job doesn't suit me 😬

@GlumyGloomer Great that your DH is so supportive that must help!

I know you will be fine tomorrow, the thing is you have taken that first step and surely that’s the hardest part😁

I keep finding excuses to not do very much about my cv or applying for jobs. Never used to procrastinate at all, well not since COVID. Pride myself on being well organised in all areasof life, just not this part!

report back and let us know how you got on. Good luck (not that you will need it)!

Aw, thanks @Sandgroper. For me I think following through will be the hard part, lol.

Are you looking for jobs or thinking of doing some training first?

@GlumyGloomer - had really thought of doing some training, was looking a jobs. Might be worth some investigation!

@Sandgroper the advantage with training is it then gives you a reference for job hunting, but obviously it costs money rather than making it.

Meanwhile I've done a small amount of research on tomorrow's property, hopefully enough to pass muster as a rookie, and now I'm wondering what on earth to wear from my extremely limited supply of smart clothes...

@GlumyGloomer How did you get on yesterday? did you find something suitable to wear?

yes very good point about the training.

@Sandgroper it went pretty well, at least he said he'll invite me on another one in a couple of weeks. I needn't have worried about looking smart, just need something suitable for climbing into loft spaces etc. I'm a bit overwhelmed by just how much information needs to be collected in 2-3 hours (or less, if just a valuation). I've done site reports before, but it was 1 page instead of 12. It'll become second nature I suppose.
Driving lessons are going well, in the sense that I do improve each time. Got my theory booked for just before Christmas, hoping the deadline will motivate me to study...

That sounds promising @GlumyGloomer

Our house inspector missed a few things ($70k of electrical rewiring needed, mainly)

I guess you can only do your best. I don't think they can sue you.

@Aria999 there would have been a list of limitations to the inspection which probably covered the things they missed, ie if too much stuff is in the way. As a surveyor you can actually be taken to court up to 5 years later if you really mess up 😬.

I'm still playing catch up on my studies, and feeling the bite. The house is a tip, I never have a meal plan and I don't have the same energy for kid entertainment. They are so well trained that daddy is working/tired from work, mummy is always at their disposal. It's very hard to break that pattern. Dh is not sympathetic, as in his view he had to study and work really hard to support us. Only I was doing literally everything else with the house and kids while he did it...

Anyway, feeling a bit grumpy tonight. Will hopefully feel more optimistic tomorrow.

I did the unit on health and safety last night, that was a good bit of nightmare fuel. Guidance included making sure someone knows where you're going, how long you should be there, and setting up a safe word. There was a suggested excuse for getting out if you feel threatened, and advise to check empty buildings for squatters and burglers. I now feel like I am going to be murdered for sure 😬
(I know it's statistically unlikely)

Scary @GlumyGloomer !

I guess carry pepper spray and trust your instinct, if you are uncomfortable then leave.

Hey, just checking in. First full day of classes tomorrow. I do not feel remotely prepared, as dd2 was quite unwell last week and missed 3 days at nursery. Dd1 is kicking up a fuss about being babysat for a couple of hours after school tomorrow (she's six, but currently acting like a toddler over it).
Feeling very much stuck between having to somehow pass this thing and wishing I didn't have to (but my old job was very badly paid and I'd never have financial independence...)

Rule number one of being a working parent; as soon as it's a really bad time for the kids to be ill, the kids will get ill.

@Aria999 I can well believe it!
How's your contract role going?

@GlumyGloomer not too bad thanks - it's really only a couple of short projects. I am having to take the week off for thanksgiving as DS is off school all week and also is not well, but I have done most of the initial work so I should be able to catch up next week.

Soon it will be finished and I will be back to having no work and feeling like I will never get any again 🤣

@GlumyGloomer how did your classes go? Are you feeling more positive about it?

Does anyone know and Microsoft office online courses? I have been a SAHM for 10 years and would like to work in an office,I want to show that I have kept up to date with Microsoft etc

@norwichmummy123 Microsoft have some good ones, check
Out their website

Hi @Aria999 , sorry for the slow reply. Classes were alright, I answered some questions correctly, despite not doing all the reading. My mentor sent me a practice task this week, which I was doing this morning. I actually quite enjoyed the desk top research, but I was very slow. Definitely more practice needed. Kids continuing to get sick every five minutes, up to and including spending the whole night in a&e with dd1 as she got a bruise like rash up her legs which didn't fade under pressure. Her blood tests came back all clear so we were just sent home in the end.
I've been feeling very unmotivated, wishing I could just focus on getting ready for Christmas. Just have to believe that I'll get through and all the stress will pay off.

Scary @GlumyGloomer hope dd is ok?

Ours have been ill for weeks too but nothing so dramatic luckily. I did take DS to the neurologist for persistent headaches. Spent $67 on medicine, all of which tastes foul.

DS claims not to be having headaches any more because he doesn't want to take the medicine. Not sure if they have actually stopped or not...

DD had her first snot free morning in as long as I can remember today. I feel I should mark it on the calendar.

Glad you are enjoying the work. I think that's the main thing. It's hard to concentrate on anything when surrounded by sick kids.

Try to take it one day at a time and don't think about the distance to the top of the mountain right now.

Will you have a break over Christmas?

Oh dear, sorry to hear your kids have been perma-ill too @Aria999 . Dd1 never had a fever or felt particularly unwell, which made it all stranger. The doctor said she'd seen a couple of cases where a rash like that was just viral, but it's certainly unusual. She followed up by getting very red sore lips (which we think is unrelated and due to the sudden cold snap) and last night cracked her leg on a bookcase by doing a forward roll off her bed 🙄. Dd2 has remarkably stayed healthy throughout (after back to back heavy colds on the previous 2 weeks).