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Being bullied working from home

375 replies

Ceriane · 30/07/2020 02:47

So, I have been at my current job for 2 years and work with a really nice, friendly team. Have been working from home since March and quite enjoying it, no problems. However, in May we had a new line manager, and it didn’t take long for her to get her feet under the table. We were all really welcoming and settled her in, but after not very long she began running it like and absolute dictatorship and is making my life a living hell. We now have to log it on our screen if we leave our laptop for any reason such as to go to the loo or make a drink, and we are quizzed about it if it happens to be at a time she happened to want to ring us. We have to answer every e-mail she sends straight away (within seconds or she rings and asks why it hasn’t been answered) regardless of how many other emails we have or what else we might be working on and she is constantly emailing and ringing me. She has said that we have to log everything on a calendar for her to read as to exactly what we have been doing and when and will query it as though we are lying, if she sets a task she demands that you inform her how far you’ve got with it at the end of every hour and will ring me after about 15 minutes and accuse me of not doing it and say in a really creepy, deliberately intimidating sing song voice “if you have been working on this since 11.10am as your calendar suggests, then how come...” she will quibble down to the nanosecond everything you have said you’ve been working on on your calendar. A lot of our systems are shared and she seems to spend the entire day checking I’ve done what she has said straight away. I’m a well meaning person in my 30s and have never given her any reason to mistrust me. Every interaction I have with her she is really aggressive and quite abusive. You can’t relax for a second. She quizzes me on what time I started, we have to email her to let her know we have logged on. I can start any time between 8 and 9 and finish 8 hours later. If I send the email at 8.07 and then out of habit put 8.00am started working on such and such she rings me and I get the sing song voice “If you started at 8am as your calendar states how come I never had an email until 8.07?” She micromanages my every move! She has changed all our systems and made them unnecessarily complicated and she will check that you have followed every detail of this. If there is anything you have forgotten to do or been confused by she copies another more senior member of the team into the email detailing the errors and a lot of the time they are perceived errors because she has got confused. If you ask a question regarding any of her new systems she comes back aggressively with “we went through this yesterday, you said you understood. What is not clear?” If she asks you to do something and it takes longer than she thinks it should she rings and says”I’ve asked you to do such and such WHAT is the hold up?!” I’m fairly new to taking minutes, and in most jobs people say I’m really good at anything that involves writing. She doesn’t seem to understand why I can’t just ping them over to her an hour after the meeting and instead of commenting on the detail or if it’s well written she will say “not all of the bullet points were in a straight line, if this had have been for a bigger meeting there’s no way we’d have been able to send these out”. If she has been confused about one of our systems, she assumes I have got it wrong and when I’m in the middle of constructing an email back to her to explain the process, she will constantly email me asking why I haven’t e-mailed her back. I had to email her twice to say “can you just give me a minute, I’m looking into this” before sending her the big email explaining it. The list of examples goes on. She will accuse me of not attending meetings when she has got the time wrong or of not having my away sign on if I’m on my break when weirdly she always seems to need to “urgently” ring me at that time. She even went as far as to take a screenshot of it and sent it to a more senior manager. She just constantly rips me to shreds over things that I’ve previously had praise for in other jobs. She won’t let me decide how to plan my own workload or to jump to a different task to break it up a bit, if I do she speaks to me in the weird singsong voice again like she’s caught a wayward child doing something really naughty. I’m a grown adult with a flipping degree and a lot of experience, plus I’m well meaning and work really hard yet she makes me feel at best, incompetent and at worst like a criminal. I could go on and on there’s so many examples. My nerves are in shreds and she’s actually made me really ill. She’s never even worked in the office with us, she doesn’t know us, this has all been during the lockdown and working from home. She is by far the worst person I’ve ever worked with and to be honest ever met in my life! I just don’t know what to do!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/08/2020 19:13

How is this line manager getting any of her own work down if she spends her work hours micromanaging Confused

BananaHammock23 · 02/08/2020 21:39

God she sounds awful OP, sorry you're going through this. Agree with the other replies - record everything and go to HR.

As an aside, I'm a freelancer and I always work remotely. Some clients are much more problematic and I always think it's because they think people who work from home sit on their ass all day watching This Morning. They want to catch you out because they think you've got a sweet deal when in fact you're just doing your job in a more stressful environment!

TokyoSushi · 02/08/2020 21:45

She actually sounds like she's unhinged, how awful for you OP!

I'd try to get that complaint in ASAP!

MsTSwift · 02/08/2020 21:49

I felt stressed just reading the op!

Ceriane · 02/08/2020 22:06

Thank you so much for your replies! To be honest, I don’t think she has anything to do. My plan is to keep a log, discuss it with her line manager and then HR. In the meantime just try and keep polite and calm and do my job as best I can in the circs. I do think that some people do assume that if WFH you will skive, cos they would. Not the case, don’t have time! I’m back to logging on tomorrow, wish me luck, absolutely dreading the horrors that await when I open that laptop!!!

OP posts:
Squigget · 02/08/2020 23:16

I hope tomorrow feels better now you have a bit of a plan. She sounds very much like my last line manager who was generally horrific all round and made my life a total misery. Thankfully she was finally found out and was effectively told to resign. I hope things get better for you.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/08/2020 08:50

Hope it goes ok today, good that you are using some of your time to log the unreasonableness

Sounds horrific Shock

happytoday73 · 03/08/2020 09:00

I'd ask HR for guidance on what is expected re reporting in/ being available while working from home.

I'd explain what required to do under new manager ie reporting each and every time leave desk including for toilet. If you put lots of examples it will hopefully raise alarm bells
I would state that just want clarification as new manager seems unhappy with you, despite best efforts, and you are trying best to meet requirements

happytoday73 · 03/08/2020 09:01

Whoops... Posted to soon...

I'd use that as an opener to talk about the rest of it.. Using log as evidence

HollyBollyBooBoo · 03/08/2020 09:03

Have you spoken to her about it, over the phone not email? Surely you need to give her the feedback on the impact it's having on you before you go to her boss or HR? Only fair she hears it first and get a chance to change.

cameocat · 03/08/2020 09:10

You need to take action NOW whilst she is still on probation. I felt stressed just reading all that nonsense. You need to male recordings of the way she speaks to you (you can say this is part of your note taking as you are so scared you might miss things).

I am sorry you are going through this. Can you speak to the other person she manages.

Iverunoutofnames · 03/08/2020 09:19

I came on to say it sounds likes she’s doing no work herself but micromanaging.
I think it’s important to tell HR how you are feeling (including thinking of going on sick) and mention now well you think WFH was going before she started. If you were getting on well then her behaviour is just bullying.

BluebellsGreenbells · 03/08/2020 09:27

OP you need a plan.

By having a clear plan of what you need to do is empowering.

First see how many emails you receive per day about work. Count the phone calls and time taken to deal with those, write down what was said and the emphasis on meaning.

Underline anything sinister in red.

Print off the emails for a file or email them to your personal home address.

Digout your job description, it should detail hours and breaks you are entitled too.

When you have this information, you need to put it in writing to management - they are more likely to deal with it if it’s in writing.

Email is would like to discuss the pressure I’m feeling about being micromanaged. This is an example of my current situation - insert last two weeks of conversations

I would like to arrange a meeting to discuss.

cameocat · 03/08/2020 09:48

I am not actually sure how you're getting any work done with all this reporting to her!

Ceriane · 03/08/2020 20:09

She’s a nightmare!!! Today I had...If I ask you to do minutes, I want to be sure I’m gonna get them by the end of the day, and not 5 past bloody 4 when I’ve bloody well logged off!!!” These were well written, very detailed minutes that were 9 pages long that I did inform her that they were taking longer than I thought, in plenty of time. She also said “I need to see improvements! I’m a Band 6 and you’re a Band 4. If I want something done I want it yesterday! As far as your concerned I am God!!!!

OP posts:
Ceriane · 03/08/2020 20:10

I seriously need an appointment with HR dont I, before I end up having a breakdown! My heart is racing just thinking about it!

OP posts:
woodhill · 03/08/2020 20:13

She is not god, how arrogant and cheeky of her.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 03/08/2020 20:16

Was that last comment in writing OP? That’s a worth it’s weight in gold for taking to HR of so. If not, get it written down in your log before you forget.

You’re a better woman than me. I’d have told her to shove her job up her arse by now.

Ceriane · 03/08/2020 20:26

I wish I was the sort of person that could tell her to shove it up her arse to be honest!!! Instead I can’t stand up for myself to save my life...can’t deal with conflict at all.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 03/08/2020 20:28

Book an appointment with HR for next week. Concentrate this week on keeping a log of every call and email. Print off that last email - it smacks of bullying/intimidation.
Grit your teeth for the next 4 days, in the confident knowledge that you're taking action and you will soon be in a position to demand support in resolving this.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/08/2020 20:33

Well, if she actually typed that then you don't hesitate. You send it to HR, right now. With any other log of her antics attached. She has given you the Golden Dagger, use it!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/08/2020 20:35

And do remember, you have 2 years of history, and are now a protected member of staff. You cannot be dismissed without due procedure She, quite simply, is not proetected and can be shown the door at a moment's notice!

Wallywobbles · 03/08/2020 20:36

Don't wait. Spend time tonight. Write a log of all the calls and emails. Copy all the emails in. Really this is an easy complaint but just get on with it tonight so HR can deal with it ASAP.

BelleSausage · 03/08/2020 20:37

@Ceriane

She’s on a power trip and it sounds like she’s lost all perspective.

If she is swearing at you then log that straight away with HR. Part of her job description will be to effectively manage you and your colleague. She is failing miserably to do that. This needs pointing out to the management. They will want to know.

But you may well have to accept that she is here to stay and consider your position. Can you ask to be moved to another team within the company? How in demand is your skills set? All this can be used as leverage.

BelleSausage · 03/08/2020 20:38

I would also suggest ASAP. You need to be out from under her before she has a chance to do a performance review for you.

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