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Being bullied working from home

375 replies

Ceriane · 30/07/2020 02:47

So, I have been at my current job for 2 years and work with a really nice, friendly team. Have been working from home since March and quite enjoying it, no problems. However, in May we had a new line manager, and it didn’t take long for her to get her feet under the table. We were all really welcoming and settled her in, but after not very long she began running it like and absolute dictatorship and is making my life a living hell. We now have to log it on our screen if we leave our laptop for any reason such as to go to the loo or make a drink, and we are quizzed about it if it happens to be at a time she happened to want to ring us. We have to answer every e-mail she sends straight away (within seconds or she rings and asks why it hasn’t been answered) regardless of how many other emails we have or what else we might be working on and she is constantly emailing and ringing me. She has said that we have to log everything on a calendar for her to read as to exactly what we have been doing and when and will query it as though we are lying, if she sets a task she demands that you inform her how far you’ve got with it at the end of every hour and will ring me after about 15 minutes and accuse me of not doing it and say in a really creepy, deliberately intimidating sing song voice “if you have been working on this since 11.10am as your calendar suggests, then how come...” she will quibble down to the nanosecond everything you have said you’ve been working on on your calendar. A lot of our systems are shared and she seems to spend the entire day checking I’ve done what she has said straight away. I’m a well meaning person in my 30s and have never given her any reason to mistrust me. Every interaction I have with her she is really aggressive and quite abusive. You can’t relax for a second. She quizzes me on what time I started, we have to email her to let her know we have logged on. I can start any time between 8 and 9 and finish 8 hours later. If I send the email at 8.07 and then out of habit put 8.00am started working on such and such she rings me and I get the sing song voice “If you started at 8am as your calendar states how come I never had an email until 8.07?” She micromanages my every move! She has changed all our systems and made them unnecessarily complicated and she will check that you have followed every detail of this. If there is anything you have forgotten to do or been confused by she copies another more senior member of the team into the email detailing the errors and a lot of the time they are perceived errors because she has got confused. If you ask a question regarding any of her new systems she comes back aggressively with “we went through this yesterday, you said you understood. What is not clear?” If she asks you to do something and it takes longer than she thinks it should she rings and says”I’ve asked you to do such and such WHAT is the hold up?!” I’m fairly new to taking minutes, and in most jobs people say I’m really good at anything that involves writing. She doesn’t seem to understand why I can’t just ping them over to her an hour after the meeting and instead of commenting on the detail or if it’s well written she will say “not all of the bullet points were in a straight line, if this had have been for a bigger meeting there’s no way we’d have been able to send these out”. If she has been confused about one of our systems, she assumes I have got it wrong and when I’m in the middle of constructing an email back to her to explain the process, she will constantly email me asking why I haven’t e-mailed her back. I had to email her twice to say “can you just give me a minute, I’m looking into this” before sending her the big email explaining it. The list of examples goes on. She will accuse me of not attending meetings when she has got the time wrong or of not having my away sign on if I’m on my break when weirdly she always seems to need to “urgently” ring me at that time. She even went as far as to take a screenshot of it and sent it to a more senior manager. She just constantly rips me to shreds over things that I’ve previously had praise for in other jobs. She won’t let me decide how to plan my own workload or to jump to a different task to break it up a bit, if I do she speaks to me in the weird singsong voice again like she’s caught a wayward child doing something really naughty. I’m a grown adult with a flipping degree and a lot of experience, plus I’m well meaning and work really hard yet she makes me feel at best, incompetent and at worst like a criminal. I could go on and on there’s so many examples. My nerves are in shreds and she’s actually made me really ill. She’s never even worked in the office with us, she doesn’t know us, this has all been during the lockdown and working from home. She is by far the worst person I’ve ever worked with and to be honest ever met in my life! I just don’t know what to do!

OP posts:
justilou1 · 26/11/2020 08:11

Just checking in on you? Has she kept her nose out of your face?

Porridgeoat · 26/11/2020 08:22

Is she on probation?

Aloeverable · 26/11/2020 08:32

So sorry OP hope it is being resolved with HR and help of union rep.

How do people like this repeatedly get hired for managerial roles?? So many useless managers at workplaces

Ceriane · 26/11/2020 18:38

She’s on and off at the moment. She’s passed her probation period now. She’s just shockingly awful. I have HR and a union rep supporting me though.

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justilou1 · 26/11/2020 21:22

How the hell did she get through probation with that kind of behaviour?!?! Jeeeeeesus!

Porridgeoat · 27/11/2020 18:43

Is it worth applying for jobs in other areas ?

I’d your normal team nice?

Ceriane · 27/11/2020 19:34

I don’t intend to go back there after lockdown, I think it’s appalling. Wouldn’t rule out applying for job there within a different team though.

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SpaceDinosaur · 13/12/2020 22:38

How are you doing OP?

Ceriane · 14/12/2020 15:28

Haha. I leave soon. Just felt like I wasn’t left with much choice in the end. Will take a break, recover and start new job in Jan. I was never going to win this situation.

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PerpendicularVincent · 14/12/2020 21:34

Did you resign, Ceriane? I think leaving is the right thing to do, no job is worth risking your health for.

Ceriane · 15/12/2020 17:24

I did. I gave my notice in 2 weeks ago. I’d exhausted all other options such as redeployment, moving to another team, changing line manager, going to HR in the hope if they knew what was going on they might not keep her. Nothing was working. Plus she’d then got me on informal capability which I was really really upset about, I didn’t want to go any further with that and didn’t want to keep picking my laptop up, just to be abused and unappreciated each day. My nerves were in shreds and she’s made me quite ill tbh. Need to take a break and get myself well again. Couldn’t go on like that. So I feel relieved but also fear of the unknown.

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madmumofteens · 16/12/2020 09:35

Sorry to hear that you've had to resign OP but your health is so much more important!! Best of luck for the future x

Ceriane · 16/12/2020 15:58

Thank you

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incenseandpeppermints · 16/12/2020 17:40

Make a grievance about her before you go - she'll be bullying others soon.
Also in a grievance state you are disappointed at the lack of support you've received from management / HR etc and feel you have no option but to leave.

Lizzie523 · 16/12/2020 23:33

Oh well done @Ceriane. I've been following your story. I'm glad you made the move and will be moving onto better things.

I wish all the best for you next year.

Ceriane · 17/12/2020 08:48

Thank you. If it hadn’t been the situation with this particular person I would have stayed, but couldn’t go on like that. Hoping next year I can put it behind me and things will be better!

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nosswith · 17/12/2020 18:56

No option but to leave because of an employer's/manager's conduct is constructive dismissal. You should consider a claim, which is probably time limited but can be after you have left, unless the law has changed recently. You won't get your job back but may get some compensation and may spare someone else the same ill-treatment.

fucksanta1 · 17/12/2020 19:46

Had this for 9 years....hyper critical micro managed. It will be worse when you return to the office and have it in person.

My advice is don't fight it just leave and move on. Best thing I did

Ceriane · 17/12/2020 20:09

Thank you. I think I would have been out of there sooner if I’d had to work with her in person. It all feels less real over a laptop!!! I wouldn’t rule out still working for the same company, but different team. It’s just one individual I like the place as an organisation.

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HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 19/02/2021 13:58

Just wondering how you are @Ceriane? I hope you're settled in a new job where they treat you well!

Ceriane · 19/02/2021 15:14

Thank you for asking. I've been in a new job since January and I'm really glad I've made the move as it's so much better. I also have an interview for a job I really want next week, and had I not left my last job I probably wouldn't have applied.

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NoSuchThingAsTooMuch · 19/02/2021 15:42

Fingers crossed for you!

commanderprimate · 19/02/2021 15:50

Ah, that's a lovely update!

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 19/02/2021 21:14

Lovely to hear!

Ceriane · 19/02/2021 21:53

Thank you 🙏

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