Anyone fancy a thread for mums who work full-time?

[Oly5]

Hello, just wondered if any other mums work full-time and fancy a bit of a thread?
I adore my kids but enjoy working full-time too. I feel it's a massive taboo to say so. This thread is for people who feel like me, who are struggling to make it work, who wish they could work less. Anyone really!

Placemarking too

How do you guys deal with the exhaustion of it all? I am really struggling with feeling constantly knackered but it's depressing trying to get to bed early especially now the nights are drawing in!!

I went to bed at nine yesterday - once I had got the girls into bed.

locating that is where the house of cards becomes really shaky, isn't it?when something goes wrong.

We found out our DS might have ASD during the summer and I was nearly tipped over the edge and u am off during summers so it could have been a lot more pressurised.

changera I think it gets better over time. I find the real grind is behind us now our youngest is nearly 4. We are also now incredibly organised, something I raged against for an awfully long time and we have great help. An au pair and a cleaner who comes twice a week. We only got the cleaner this year when I thought I was going to have a complete meltdown.

Hello! So nice to have this thread. I have a DS aged 2 and am 27 weeks pregnant with DC2. Work full time, for the last 6 months I've commuted 200 miles to London 3 days a week (other two usually at home), which will continue until mat leave when we're moving closer thankfully.
I have absolutely no doubts about working full time, I think it's so important that women are seen as a force outside of the home, and also (which I think is a more recent problem), a force before they have children, which changes once they have them.
My DP also works FT but does the majority of the childcare around my long days.

Hello! Can I join you guys? I found you guys a few days ago but forgot to placemark but now have found you!

I work FT, outside of the home. 2 kids 7 and 5. I'm lucky that the commute is 5 min away (we aren't from around here so when the job came up, we then found the house so could position ourselves I guess). Kids school is also 5 min away so that helps a lot. Dh works FT too but from home which has allowed me to I guess give more at work and be more flexible.

I have a cleaner. She's my godsend. If she spoke better English I'd ask her to do more stuff and pay more of course, but well.. That's fine for now.

I travel quite a bit, and have late nights. Having a huge struggle with being strategic at the moment. But I'll get there.

Have just put the days of horrendously expensive nurseries behind us as dc2 is now at school. After school costs are peanuts compared to nursery but of course it's made up by having to juggle 12 weeks of school holidays and the random staff dev days!

Hello everyone!

stoopstofolly I have exactly the same situation as you re. the second shift - I work 10mins away and get home with the DC at 5.30ish, DH works in town and gets in at 7.30-8ish. Very often my arse doesn't touch a chair in between those two points.

Will come back later when not pinned under a sleepy 4yo :)

Hello could I join in too? I've been back about 5 weeks now and finding it so tiring! I don't really like my job that much... Some bits are good but mostly not so that makes it hard. Plus I'm still fb ing and dd is 9 months and teething so sleeping badly . Also my shirts works away during the week so I do all the night feeds & wake ups, bed time etc, though my parents are helping me around dinner time. Totally relate to ppl just assuming you can go back pt even though this is unrealistic for me and many others! Anyway better go as I have only just out dd to bed and have work to do but glad to have found this thread as I'm finding it quite hard at the moment and not sure if I'm doing the right thing. We are both working so hard and not really happy with the arrangements! im sure many of you can relate.

My shirts?! My DH!! Weird!
Also I've been ill twice since I started back!! Anyone else just really run down by how tiring it is?!

Lacey it really is relentless, and it does grind you down. I take an iron supplement twice daily, eat well, drink loads of water, try and fit in exercise (not as often as I'd like), try to get to bed early...and I'm still knackered. If I don't do those things, I find myself getting run down very quickly.

And my DC are 4 and 7, so I'm out of the zombie tiredness stage that you're in right now!

Wow Lacey that is really demanding. I BF ds for 2.5 years. from 9 months to 15mths I fed at night while working and then I decided enough was enough and night weaned. I had started a college course as well as FT work so I was shattered.

My older 2 are now 10 and 6 and my 'baby' is nearly 4. It really does get easier now but the early years are craziness.

In our house DH does the morning shift with the school run and making packed lunches and I do the after school shift of dinner and bed times which makes quite a fair division of labour for the most part.

Hi all, can I join please?
I work f/t and have done since going back when DS was 8 months (he's now 4.5 and just started primary school). Most of my friends work p/t or are SAHM's and most of the mums of children in DS's class seem to be SAHM's too.
I'm feeling the working mother guilt more than ever at the moment! DS has an info afternoon for parents at his school tomorrow. I can't go because it's at 2.30 and I'll be at work til 5.30 and then have a 45 min drive home. The school didn't give us a week's notice either, so I couldn't get any time off. He has a harvest assembly on Friday morning at 9am which I can't go to either. Please tell me it gets better with school!
I work from home on a Wednesday so I can take him to and pick him up from school and that's really the extent of my involvement which makes me sad. We're in the middle of moving house at the moment too, as well as ttc #2 so think I'm getting a bit stressed out! It will be good to get to know you all and know I'm not the only one going through this stuff!
Maybe I'll pick up some time management tips too...!

Just sat down to relax! Ended up working late [as you do...] which, I don't mind because dh looks after ds.

I have an early morning start tomorrow and another meeting - can't wait for the weekend!

Crazy day today. Out of the house by 6.30 so I could finish at 4.
Picked DCs up from after school club.
Took DD to netball.
Took DS to football (have to wait there).
Picked DD up, threw a sandwich at each DC, fretted about DH getting home in time to look after DS.
Took DD to Brownies and helped out (why?!).
Got home at 8. DH had dinner ready for us. Finally ate at 8.30, then did schoolbags, load of washing and some school administration. DH did lunchboxes and cleared up etc. Now finally sat down to relax(ish).

And somewhere amongst all that, I dropped a load of stuff off at charity shop, went to bakery, did spellings with DCs....

Seriously, how do we do it? I look back on days like today with a mixture of pride at what I've managed to pack in, and sadness about the hamster wheel I'm on!

ARich and another kinda glad that you say it gets easier And that I'm maybe not being over dramatic about it being hard. Most of my friends don't have kids yet so they don't really get it! But I'm massively impressed by people that have more than one child and I'm sure school, hobbies etc does make things extra hard.
Sounds like a crazy day Locating!
That's a great point about iron, I need to dig out my spatone again and probably need to night wean soon. Need to work out how to do that over Xmas perhaps!

Hi lacey it will get better. Mine are 7 and 5 now but I remember the early days v well. They were not pleasant.

I bf both of mine till 2 and 3+ years. She (younger one) still wants to sleep with me and is clingy. They also don't sleep early which isn't so bad I suppose given that we only can pick them up at 6 from after school club but it can quite v stressful with second shift after work having to deal with the kids, their homework, their pe kit and all that palaver. And of course, when it's world book day, dress up day, whatever day, with 2 days notice, argh, it does my head in.

Thankfully Dh is creative and can mostly help with the craft homework type things.

Might weaning is a good thing but if it doesn't work, don't beat yourself up over it. Do what works for you. People thought I was mad to bf for so long but that was the only way I could get some sleep.

Locating yy to the hamster wheel thing. This morning I did a load of washing, hung it out and put dinner in the slow cooker as well as getting me and DC ready and out the door. I get to work feeling like I've done half a day's work already. Also wrote myself a lunchtime to do list to cover all the life admin tasks that are massively overdue need catching up on, like booking haircuts, calling plumber, RSVPing to children's parties...I have to write it all down or I forget.

What does everybody think will help reduce the hamster wheel feeling? I feel it too and have ode tidied a few things to reduce it a bit. Anybody got any other ideas?
Mine are:
Hiring a cleaner and ironing lady
Home delivery for groceries
Putting washing on every morning
Getting clothes out for everyone night before/preparing lunches if possible. I spit this task with the other half while one of us does bath time
Taking time to myself occasionally - a day shopping in London, night out with friends, exercise or similar
Sharing tasks such as booking dentist appts egc with my partner
Making sure some of the cash we earn gets spent on holidays!
Negotiating unpaid time off at work to spend more of summer hols with the kids (I do realise I'm lucky in this)

It's still hard but I find being organised helps. Anyone else?

Excuse the typos!!

I work 4 days a week to avoid the hamster wheel feeling. I also do a couple of things to help with housework. Namely I put a load on every night before getting into bed and shove it in the dryer in the morning. The washing machine and dryer was installed next to the bedrooms so hauling of laundry is minimized. I buy catering packages and have them portion for me and freeze them. It's not cheap but they are good quality healthy meals. I also spend money on products for cleaning, beauty and cooking (for when I cook). Yeah pancakes are 'easy' but I make them with a mix. Same thing with cupcakes. I buy white ready made icing and use food coloring. Dd loves this as an activity and it's much less stress making things when they are bomb proof.

We also have a command center at home which both DH and I live by. If it isn't on the command board it isn't going to happen.

I have a cleaner who comes for 4 hours a week and also does ironing. My kids have never looked so tidy in their clothes!

I put on a wash every morning, or at least most mornings when there's enough clothes. This means I wake at 6.15 but it also means I get to eat my breakfast in peace, and deal with pesky emails before I have to get to work. At the very least I get to delete the crap. I also get to think about the more tricky emails before I reply.

I try to work one day a week from home. It was lush last week. Kids were out of the house by 8.30, I got my papers out and started working. No distractions, no need to put on make up... Could think about what's for dinner. It was nice. I'm hoping to do that tomorrow, I cannot wait.

I try and batch cook on the weekends but sometimes that doesn't work.

We buy some ready made stuff like pizzas, filled pasta. I have made pizza by hand before and it was yummy, but I can't afford the time these days.

We have a family calendar. But I also have a calendar on my phone and work computer which sync. That helps me keep on track. I look at the calendar every night just for me to think about things like what to wear the next day (eg if there's no meeting at 9am I can afford to walk kids to school and then walk on to work - I don't need heels!). I need a plan B for everything. Otherwise it doesn't work....

I work in education so was able to negotiate a mostly term time only contract - very fortunate and has made a huge difference. Term time is very full on though. DH and I share a Google calendar so I get reminders for everything, also have a kitchen calendar so I can check things in the morning or for the next day while I'm making dinner.

We do manage to fit in a social life fairly well these days, although don't often get to go to things together. I wish I could get to the gym more but we make it work as well as possible in any given week.

Getting home at half five at least means I can do reading, supervise homework etc. as well as let the kids have some down time. Luckily they don't seem to need masses of sleep (never thought I'd see that as a plus!) so can cope with going to bed a little later (7.30-8 for the 4yo, 8-8.30 for the 7yo) - this means DH and I can share bedtimes.

It's the bastard washing up that's never ending :( Every day, sometimes twice a day and no room to install a dishwasher. Although tbf it was never ending when I was a SAHM too.

Also FT here although my children are 14 and 9 so it's a bit easier for me. I'm fortunate to work from home full time with occasional trips to regional and head offices. I have been approached about several jobs recently which are not home based and I feel ready for a new challenge but not sure I can do a regular commute (I am a wimp I think - lots of other people manage). I'm thinking an au pair might be the answer. Dh is a freelancer so he could be anywhere from Edinburgh to Bristol at any given moment.

I have a cleaner now and use an ironing service. We also get the lawns cut by a gardening company (the rest of the garden thrives on benign neglect)

I regularly complain to school about notice given for things. They probably hate me but they have to understand that not all mums are in the playground every day and they have to communicate with us too. My son's school moved harvest festival at three days notice to a date that clashed with a conference call that had been in my diary for two months. I emailed them to tell them and I do it every time they do something like this.

I complete relate to the hamster wheel feeling though!

I live for the day I get home regularly at 5;30. Ugh its normally 8ish for me now.