Anyone fancy a thread for mums who work full-time?

[Oly5]

Hello, just wondered if any other mums work full-time and fancy a bit of a thread?
I adore my kids but enjoy working full-time too. I feel it's a massive taboo to say so. This thread is for people who feel like me, who are struggling to make it work, who wish they could work less. Anyone really!

Love the brain babysitting. We've got the day-to-day sorted, mostly as my DH has no aversion to outsourcing help. We have a cleaner who does about half our ironing as well and a student teacher who comes once a week to cook food etc as I worked out this would be considerably more cost effective than a nanny.

However, the big projects e.g. house repairs, holidays, organising clothes, school places all fall into me to arrange and then he agrees or not.

I love brain babysitting. It absolutely describes what I do- no respite from planning and organising. I don't know what the solution is though - DH just not around enough to get what needs to be done.

Exhausted after this week!

I love brain babysitting. It absolutely describes what I do- no respite from planning and organising. I don't know what the solution is though - DH just not around enough to get what needs to be done.

Exhausted after this week!

This is why I installed the command center. All commands go on the board. DH looks to the board to know what to do. The latest step has been DH updating the command center. Shocked me to my core.

1st Commandment of the command centre is 'do not mess with the command centre'

DH does not want someone wise in the house, simple as that. When I bring it up, I get told to give him a list of jobs that need doing

Bloody look around and decide for yourself!!!!

Arf at wise!!!

It's meant to say else!

I also like that phrase brain babysitting! Littlepink I would just arrange a cleaner and pay him/her from joint account or your equivalent. Tell DH after the fact. If he isn't even aware of what needs doing its not his to veto imo. We have a cleaner which is lucky as if we didn't we would do virtually no housework at the moment!

Brain babysitting!!!
Love this!! What is it with the 'tell me what to do and I'll do it' - work it out yourself!!!

Yes let's think of somerthing so we can persuade pink's husband of the benefits of help! I have a cleaner for three hours a week plus we send our ironing to a lady (she collects from us and delivers it back!). Once I'm not paying such massive childcare costs I'll have the cleaner in for a further three hours to help with laundry and changing beds etc. to me the benefits are enormous - time with my partner and children is precious so the less time I spend doing chores the better. DH and I have fewer arguments because we don't argue over housework. I'm more relaxed which makes for a better relationship... And more sex? Life is for living. It can't all be work, even if work is fulfilling. Time outside work is really valuable! What are his objections if you can afford it?
Ah Stoops, sounds like your DH is really willing which is 80% of the battle. I'm not sure how to improve the other stuff... My other half also suffers from not entirely being 'switched on' regarding our homelife needs!

I have a DH like pears and the only thing that worked was just hiring someone. After a week my DH was like 'Why didn't we do this already!'

Great thread. I work ft as a teacher after 2 years in which I did the same job but on a .8 contract (so I was basically working .2 of the week for free). I am finding ft better but I really miss the half day at home in which I used to catch up on laundry, fit in drs appts, etc. I get stressed trying to fit in the weekend work - I need to do 7 or 8 hours then to keep up. There is a local church playgroup once a month on a Saturday morning which DH takes DD to. That helps a bit. We have a cleaner. I really like the sound of these food delivery services - going to look into that, as out diet is not great as DH lazy about cooking (so am I, to be fair). I definitely brain babysit but not just for DH but for all my sixth form students it sometimes feels like. Aargh! I do love teaching though and would hate to stop.

want2be your posts are very inspiring. We are jolly well getting a command centre . We do have a calendar but as an engineer, DH is more likely to want to use a 'command centre'. Also what genius to have the washing machine by the bedrooms. They always seem to be in the most inconvenient place in the UK (ours is in the kitchen).

So my typical weekend is collapse early on Friday night. DH take DD to shops or playgroup on Sat am. Family stuff Sat pm. Mark books on Sat eve (once a month go out with DH). Family stuff Sun am. Plan lessons Sun pm and eve. Maybe manage an exercise class once a fortnight. I have had to give up my main hobby, playing music, which is more the pressure of work than DD juggling, but is still a bit depressing. DH's has given up cycling too and is putting on weight...

Basically we like being parents but are now overweight under excercised ships that pass in the night!

Sorry about typos.

This thread is reassuring!

Thank goodness for the weekend!

Time to spend with my ds and NO work!

Morning ladies.

for you all!

It you are going to move your washing machine to your bedrooms you need to install a rubber flooring so if the machine leaks you don't get water damage downstairs. However an easier option is just to stick it in your bathroom! I had a laundry room made in our new place under the stairs which is next to our bathroom which is where the water supply and take away goes.

It's quite common here in the US to have the laundry next to bedrooms. I'm building a house in the UK and I've had the hardest time getting the machine put upstairs. I had lots of comments about being a crazy american!

Loving "command centre"..... Might try it! Like most I couldn't do this without help- cleaner twice a week (does all ironing and bedding and bath towel changes) plus online shopping and before/ after school nanny. I feel guilty sometimes- I remember my mum and dad both working full time with no help- but I also remember doing no activities and being left to get on with things a lot. We're very fortunate we can do this.

Wow. Lots of ideas. Scribbling on post-its here...

Tiredness all the time - check
Cleaning is never finished - check
Hamster wheel - check.
I got so stressed a year or so ago I did some CBT to learn coping strategies and it (to my amazement) worked. Stopped the 3am wake-up-then-can't-sleep-for-worrying thing.

Littlepinkpear I think our DHs must be related! I can't get mine to accept a cleaner because he doesn't want anyone else near his stuff. Including me. Won't bloody tidy it up himself though

I love the concept of brain babysitting! Yes - absolutely! By the time I've made a list/told DH where something needs to be put away (we've only lived in the house for 18 years so he obviously hasn't had time to learn where things go ) I might as well do it myself. Maybe that's why he does it...

Sellfridges Yes - I don't want to have to think about things that I've delegated to DH at all, either.

I am going to steal the Command Centre idea. Things to Be Done At Weekends. What do people have on their CC lists other than laundry, clean kitchen, clean loos, tidy/hoover etc?

I really like the idea of a cleaner who comes in just to do laundry and ironing. That would save hours and perhaps DH would be ok there.

Hello everyone, coming back to this thread after posting once a while back^^

We are all really struggling with lack of time at home and it's beginning to affect the dc's who get bored rigid at the weekend whilst I catch up with laundry and cleaning.

Off back to read the thread looking for ideas - but a quick skim tells me that a few of you have cleaner refusenik dh's, as do I, but as we are pretty much at breaking point I am on the verge of overruling him. Hes' been a but of a dick recently tbh and I need more help with the house, we can afford to pay for it so why the hell not??

If I were you I would be downing tools in a huff and telling him he can do ALL the chores until he accepts a cleaner. You are obviously doing so much that his life feels relatively easy... Make it not easy!! If you can afford a cleaner then it's ridoculius for two parents to be working full time and spending their weekend doing chores. Where's the fun in life then? Or fun for your children?! These are precious years.
Of course, there's always some chores to do but even 3 hours a week of cleaning plus an ironing lady once a fortnight makes a huge difference to us. As soon as more funds become available, I'm having an extra two hours for laundry/bed changing!
Personally I would be going mad if my DH said no. It's friggin unreasonable

Ps your kids won't thank you for cleaning the house when they're older... They'll thank you for wonderful memories, days out, activities you did

Don't mean that to sound like a lecture btw xxx

My kids are 4 and 2.5. Both help us with any cleaning that needs to be done. The 4 year old can put her own dirty clothes in the hamper and my 2.5 year old son helps me vacuum.

The trick is to hire help and do things as you go. I'm not about to spend half of my weekend cleaning or shopping when there are a million other awesome things to do.

What about home delivery for food? It takes me 10 mins in front of the telly, wine in hand. I have a regular lists section on Sainsburys or Ocado, which makes it really easy. If I really can't face it, I just add the previous week's shop to the basket in one click and order that!