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Original poster

Anyone fancy a thread for mums who work full-time?

334 replies

Oly5 · 30/09/2015 18:00

Hello, just wondered if any other mums work full-time and fancy a bit of a thread?
I adore my kids but enjoy working full-time too. I feel it's a massive taboo to say so. This thread is for people who feel like me, who are struggling to make it work, who wish they could work less. Anyone really!

OP posts:
MI6Agent · 03/10/2015 22:11

Adam and Lucas North Grin

CerseiLannistersEyebrow · 04/10/2015 18:38

Tomorrow's my first day back :(

CerseiLannistersEyebrow · 04/10/2015 18:38

Tomorrow's my first day back :(

CerseiLannistersEyebrow · 04/10/2015 18:38

Tomorrow's my first day back :(

Want2bSupermum · 04/10/2015 18:40

You will be fine! I think it's harder in the UK because you take so long off.

Spoke to my dad earlier and he assumed I would be stopping work with #3. I was like no dad. I'm going back to work after six months and I might go back FT.

Lweji · 04/10/2015 18:50

I hope it goes well for you.
Your baby will be fine. :)

Original poster
Oly5 · 04/10/2015 21:53

Your baby will be fine! The first few weeks are the hardest while everyone adjusts. Try and think of some positives... Adult company and hot coffee! Good luck

OP posts:
Mindysgotswag · 04/10/2015 23:26

Good luck for tomorrow Cersei...you'll be fine! Doesn't feel like that right now but it will...

Hot Brew does it for me Grin

Changerazelea · 05/10/2015 22:32

Ladies looks like I've found my sisterhood here!
FT in a new job which I love so far, short commute and flexitime really helps. Have managed to let go of the guilt and just try and make the most of quality time with DS which is helping lots.
Cersei how was 1st day back?

Ubik1 · 05/10/2015 22:37

Our house is a tip, I can't keep up with the washing, I'm too knackered to do much with the kids at the weekend, I am developing too much of a fondness for wine

Yup

I work ft. Three children. Am
Off for a conference, two nights away. They have all howled this evening. I have promised wild gifts on my return.

Do I feel just fucking great.

anothernumberone · 05/10/2015 22:49

I am a wohm too and like some others the wohm/sahm thing is completely a MN thing for me. All my good friends from school work in very demanding roles doctors, tax consultants, engineers. My mother friends are more evenly split in sahm/wohm and PT and everyone is very understanding of everyone else's contributions to family life whatever they amount too. In the last year I have taken a cleaner on and have gone from doing it mostly myself to 2 days a week having a cleaner and it has changed our lives.

I have 3 kids 2 of whom have learning difficulties and that is the only guilt I feel. No being able to do more for them and of course their sibling who loses out a bit due to their LD.

To be honest I don't do clapping myself on the back for 'doing it all' because I really could not do the sahm thing so I think it is harder or it would be for me. I would find it too isolating for me. I love my job and love showing my daughters that they can aspire to have a career and be a mother. I would hate for them to think that they need to make the choice of being a parent or finding a career they enjoy. There are compromises though I have found but that seems to always be the way.

Mindysgotswag · 05/10/2015 23:03

Feet are killing me! Dh made tea and ran me a bath but ds was grumpy earlier so gave out plenty of tlc. Went to bed a happy soldier!

I need to hoover through and have an ever-growing pile of ironing but I'm currently sat here eating cupcakes and on here...

Oops!Blush

Want2bSupermum · 06/10/2015 02:48

Had a morning where everything fell apart. I just got home now athis 9:30pm. I left my house at 7:30am.

ubik I love it when I have a night or 2 away. It's normally DH that is off overnight and I'm left with two little monkeys that don't want to settle down. I love that I get undisturbed sleep and a lie in to around 7am normally.

Original poster
Oly5 · 06/10/2015 10:15

Despite starting this thread with back patting, I had a morning where everything fell apart too! My four year old was howling that it was the nanny taking him to nursery... He only wanted me. Pleading eyes, wouldnt let me go. I felt awful!!
Tell me he won't care about such things when he's 13! I will collect him later and make a big fuss of him

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 06/10/2015 12:05

oly my morning fell apart with everything colliding. DD was dawdling and wanted to go play in DS's classroom rather than go to her school. I get to her school and her teacher tells me we have an open house on Thursday at 5pm. I get in the car and my obn's office calls to tell me I must come in as obn is going on vacation for 2 weeks and I must have an appointment that morning as its their only availability. I get to my client for 10am and rush to get ready for a meeting I lead with my team. I'm on 2 clients and an associate on my other team has had their manager come back and say he can't work on this other client of mine in the next 2 weeks. I don't have anyone else to ask and speak to staffing only to be told no. I speak to a director of the team my other associate is on only to be told by the narky cow that I'm not senior enough to talk to her. Thank goodness the team I'm on has some capacity so I got permission last night to use the associates this week.

Oh and then my client I was at exploded because a lady who is a VP in Dublin is pissed off with me. I'm an auditor and if she thinks for a minute that I care that she is upset because of my request she had another thing coming. It's my job to be annoying.

Want2bSupermum · 06/10/2015 12:06

Oh and then I get home at 9:45 for DH to assume that I will walk the dog. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and just put in a really long day. I glared at him and he knew better than to argue with me.

moonbells · 06/10/2015 13:53

Hello, another f/t WOHM here. Went back when DS was almost 6mo (he's now in Y3) and still going. Job is a niche one, more of a vocation and there's only a handful similar in the country so I hang onto it for dear life.

Ubik1 · 06/10/2015 16:57

I have a healthy guilt complex about leaving my children. Was looking at Christmas ANnual leave and realised I would have to work between Xmas and NY.

But the children are fine - happy, fed, clothed but sometimes they miss me.
Compared to what other children in the world go through, they are very lucky indeed.

Original poster
Oly5 · 06/10/2015 18:09

Ah Ubik, what a great reminder! Yes compared to what other children go through our kids are so priveleged to have working parents! Must remember that.
Want2besupermum, you sound like you had a horrendous day. If you weren't pregnant I would suggest wine!!!! Maybe chocolates instead with your feet up!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Oly5 · 06/10/2015 18:11

Moonbells, I'm in a fairly niche job too... I enjoy it and also hang in for dear life. Losing it would make me very sad. I've been trying to really focus on the kids outside of work, playing with them and sharing stories. Spending the time on fun rather than household jobs. Really enjoying it. But days like this morning have me questioning everything!

OP posts:
originalmavis · 06/10/2015 18:32

Whose got time? Haha. I'm thinking about cloning myself like Dolly the sheep, or giving up sleep.

Mindysgotswag · 06/10/2015 18:57

Weekends are funtime for me and ds. I totally give my time up to him as I work all week and have meetings and seminars to attend in the evening. Having said this, I love my job...thrive on I and it's who I am. Dh looks after ds when he finishes school. Bless him!

Want2bSupermum · 07/10/2015 02:32

I am so happy I did a sabbatical this summer. After 3 weeks I was ready to go back to work. While I have some nasty days it's was pretty much the same thing when I was home. DS has 5 hours of therapy a week and I did every hour with him plus prep and exercises to drill learning points with him.

The worst was the shift in our relationship. DH travelled a lot overnight and with the kids home I never got a break. I actually bring in money and it's only going to increase in the future. I realized that by staying home all I can do is save us money and quite frankly I can contribute more by earning than I can by saving.

The trick is to get the hours right. I walked through the door at 9:15pm tonight. Now tomorrow is going to be another late one and in Thursday I have a meeting at school until 8pm. I'm not supposed to be working on Friday but I will be so I can get things ready for the partner when they get back.

LocatingLocatingLocating · 07/10/2015 07:10

Can I join please? Smile
I've been FT for nearly a year now, after 8y PT. In an ideal world I'd prefer PT, but my department restructured and the choice was no job or FT job. I probably could have fought for 0.8 or 0.9 contract, but after years of working extra for no money, I decided to go for it.

Plus points: I love the autonomy of my job, the fact I am senior and have a strategic focus, and I like my team. Ive got a cleaner, no money worries, time to do my job properly, and some flexibility in hours as long as I don't take the mickey! Plus DH has stepped up and proved he is (nearly) as good at me at sorting things!!!!

Negatives: I am in the go til late in the evening, I spend too much time in the weekend trying to get things done that I previously did in the week, our childcare plans are good as long as everything goes well but a disaster if they don't, as the DCs get older, keeping up with hobbies and FT work is a killer! Plus annual leave to cover holidays is a nightmare.

DCs have been ill this week, I've been away at a conference, so DH has had to sort things on his own. Bit of a nightmare, but we've got through it.

Littlepinkpear · 07/10/2015 07:15

Place marking, will be back

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