Anyone fancy a thread for mums who work full-time?

[Oly5]

Hello, just wondered if any other mums work full-time and fancy a bit of a thread?
I adore my kids but enjoy working full-time too. I feel it's a massive taboo to say so. This thread is for people who feel like me, who are struggling to make it work, who wish they could work less. Anyone really!

In the country I come from originally, practically everyone who's earning some average income has a domestic helper of some sort. By that I mean domestic help isn't restricted only to rich and wealthy people. Teachers, middle managers etc have domestic helpers. Some have two.

I have a relation who had 2 helpers, 3 kids and she didn't work (well she did for a few years but decided not to go back several years ago - her youngest was maybe 5? He's now about 10). She found it v 'stressful' driving her kids around and helping them with homework. It drove me mad when she posted on FB that she'd just finished reading xx book and how tired she was driving kids to school. Argh! She now only has one helper.

Seriously though I'd love the idea of having help. That's the only way we can be on equal par with our male counterparts.

Every big boss I've had in the last 12 years has been male. With wives who didn't work or worked v part time. All bar one had kids. I've had female bosses (line managers) and they've been great but always run off their feet balancing life and kids and work and pastoral bits that come with work.

In my original country, everybody works and almost everybody works full time. So not doing it didn't even occur to me.
Now I live in a country where mothers are supposed to forget about their careers and work little part-time, school hours only jobs. People didn't even ask IF I'm part time, but how much of a part time I am now. Quite a difference. Luckily the judgypants don't bother me too much.

My husband is the SAHP. I don't swan into a clean house! But he does make me dinner every night no matter how tired he is.

I am so bloody thankful I'm not in the UK. When they have talked about transferring DH I am up for HK as while housing is expensive hiring help is extremely affordable and I could afford the help I need to be able to work FT.

My dads ex girlfriend was doing 'research' for her PhD about women in senior management and basically her conclusion was that it's cultural and women were their own worst enemy. I had a screaming match with her over it. It's not bloody cultural. There are HUGE barriers to women getting ahead in the western world because as women extremely few of us have the help we need to be able to put the hours in to be able to rise to the top. The barriers that are there are structural and shaped by policy which is controlled by men.

Here in the US women have fought very hard and continue to do so. I'm at big 4 and there are women all the way up to the senior levels and they are not token positions. My clients all have women in senior positions too. Not as many as men but you see more and more women rising up through the ranks.

Also I hate the term balancing. I'm not balanced. I'm trying to squeeze it all in. My work life balance is non existent just as it is for men. I do just enough work to get the best ranking possible and justify the highest raise allowed via the departmental matrix. It's exactly what men do too.

Want2B: damn right its not 'cultural'.

Making school hours utterly inconsistent with work hours and a 'your problem' attitude to wrap around care, isn't 'cultural'. It's policy. And its deliberate.

How do you reduce unemployment? Force parents (and it'll be mothers) out of the work place.

How do you impose your 1950s agenda of stay at home mums financially dependant on husbands (so beloved of right wing parties)? Make it as difficult as possible for parents to both work.

How do the media respond to objections from parents? Tell them their children will suffer if they have to spend time in wrap around care and vilify anyone who suggests it as a hardened, money obsessed career parent.

I have heard there are flexible hours jobs out there that enable people to work core hours of 10am-2pm term time only and 'catch up in the evenings'. I know noone who actually has one.

It's interesting that Halloween this year falls on a Saturday. The town parade was scheduled for Friday afternoon so the town wouldn't have to pay overtime to public workers. The mayor changed it after a group of mothers approached her and explained it was a one off opportunity for them to experience Halloween with their kids as taking time off isn't so easy. The following week it was changed and the mayor issued a statement saying how she recalled the struggles of her and her DH taking part in our DCs lives while both working FT.

I don't think that would ever happen in the UK. It's just assumed that mothers are home and those who work don't need to be considered because they are selfish people who put themselves before their DC by making the 'choice' to work.

Of course it's deliberate. I'm originally from Northern Europe - pretty much all women work and part time work is not common. Long paid parental leave, then very cheap childcare between ages 1,5-7. Schools have consistent hours and after school programs and clubs. What's also important - shoping and all services available also outside 9-5 working hours.

I now work in Switzerland. Maternity leave is 3 months, nothing for dads. If you don't want to put your 3-month old to childcare then quit your job. Child care hard to find and priced out of reach for many working parents. School hours are all over the place - if you have several kids, they might have totally different hours, with random mornings, afternoons or whole days off. Some schools expect kids to go home for lunch. Supermarkets close at 6.30, services even earlier, so there's no chance to do anything after work. Why would you need to - surely mum has plenty of time to do everything during the day, no?

Not surprising that only 16% of mothers (with children under 25) work full time..

I'd vote for a political party that actively and transparently proposed and pursued policies that enabled parents to work.

None of the current parties offer more than token policies and even then with little interest in making them operate in practice.

Hi, can I join the thread? I have two DC (age 7 and 2) and have always worked FT. I think I have quite a good set up as I have a short commute and work flexi time (including working in the evening so that I can work a slightly shorter day). This means I can have breakfast with both DC and then take DS1 to school each day. We then have a lovely CM who looks after DS2 all day and who picks up DS1 from school. DH shares all childcare and housework 50:50 and usually picks the boys up each evening. So in many ways I am very lucky (although usually pretty frazzled by the end of the week!).

One thing I have noticed is that when I had DS1, most mothers I knew worked FT. Now I know hardly any. I don't know if that's due to more employers offering more flexible hours or whether it also just seems less "fashionable" for mothers to work FT. I often feel a little bit judged for my decision to go back FT after DS2 was born, but more than anything I feel a bit lonely as I know so few people in a similar position.

Hi. Haven't read the whole thread yet but great idea. Can I join you please?
Back to work full time in a couple of weeks. Single parent to 2 x dd's. 1 just started reception and will be in breakfast & after school club & the other starting nursery next week.
Looking forward to getting back involved in the business but worried about the chaos at home that's likely to ensue as everyone gets used to the new way of things.Dd2 quite often in bed by 6:30 atm and we're only going to be getting home at 6.
No cleaner as yet,have a vague notion of an au pair in a couple of years when Dd2 goes to school but hoping to be able to afford a cleaner.

My god, you lot are massively interesting, I'd love to meet you in person! Million, o totally agree with your regarding political parties only making token nods to enabling both parents to work FT. I have a flexible employer and I can take unpaid extra weeks off to cover summer holidays and yet I still feel stressed about managing all the school holidays/what if somebody is ill for more than one day etc. it is a juggling nightmare! I ha e a friend who lives in the south of Germany where chikdcare seems to majorly be free, where there are extended hours and everything is set up for working. There is no wonder so many women in the UK quit their jobs.! It's really hard to keep working

Excuse the typos... I hate my phone!

Actually I'm rather boring. I used to be interesting when I did other stuff apart from raise kids (short for do housework) and work!

Twisted it's so hard to do the evenings I find, mornings can always be made better by getting things out the night before, getting up earlier (ds sees to that, 5am wake ups..) but the evenings I hate, getting home, collecting the kids, getting dinner on, baths, bed etc. Currently we have dinner a 5, dh eats later and I've gotds into bed and asleep by 6:30, usually. Then I'm free to sort out dd and be sat down by 8, bed early as I am awake 3 times at least. Glass of wine tonight though, half term! but I want to cry when I think about getting home an hour later, trying to get am overtired hungry baby to bed, do reading with dd, getting hereto bed, all the stuff for the next day ready...then, instead of sitting down and vegetating I get to cracking open the laptop and start work...

It's the bloody constant repetition that gets me, I can see mine and my children's lives slipping away whilst I'm sat in traffic.

Morning are hard for me because it's a tight turn around and my kids are both young. I have to walk both kids to daycare and school. Evening is easier because we have help!

So does anyone on here exercise regularly? If so how do you fit it in?

I teach a few of fitness classes per week, just as a hobby. Either 7.30 in the morning - get up, pull the gear on and go to the gym, and then straight to work. Or in the evening, straight from the office (gym is 10min away) and home before their bedtime (I have a baby and toddler and their bed time is 9). When it's my turn to work out, DH will do the breakfast/drop-off or pick-up and dinner, and of course he gets his exercise time as well.

if that's not an option, what about home exercise programs? there are some very decent ones available nowadays.

Ugh. I am up at 5:45 if DS hasn't already woken me up and I get home at 8ish, grab dinner prepare for the next day. I just have to allocate 30min to moving my rear end like a prat because I'm feeling rather sluggish these days.

7.30 is the start of the class, not wake up time, just to be clear. Finished by 8.30, quick shower and I'm at my desk by 9. I am very lucky of course that my commute is so short.
But you can do plenty in half an hour at home, the T25 program is not bad, or other similar ones.

Evenings are often a blur for me, so much to do and of course would actually like to spend some time playing with kids as well.
I've recently bought a slow cooker - as kids wake up early, I have more time in the mornings to do the prep. In the evenings, DS is already hungry when we pick him up and asking for snacks, but if he gets them, by the time dinner is ready, he does not want to eat any more. So far the few things I've made have been a success, so can recommend.

Ah I have an hour commute to my client. At 720 I am taking my kids to school and I leave for work right away after. At 630 I have a daily work call with the UK which I take while making breakfast for the DC.

Commutes are a pain, aren't they. I was just offered a job with about 1h30 commute one way, very interesting position, but I turned them down. DC2 is just 3 months old and first, I wouldn't feel comfortable being so far from them the whole day and second, would not leave me any time for anything but work, commute, sleep, repeat.
Maybe in a few years, when they're a little older, busy with afterschool activities and don't want to spend time with me anyway

That's my life at the moment, my job is a 1hr 30 minute commute each way. It is driving me mad.

I have always commuted for about one hour, sometimes more. But on public transport, so I can read and in some instances meet friends on the way, so it's ok.
I would hate it if I had to drive every day for that long, though.

Evening all. I work ft and have an 11 yo and a 9yo. With exercise I think it has to be part of the day/commute. On Mondays dd and I cycle to her bus, then I go on. I try to swim Tuesdays (either lunchtime or after work).Wednesdays dd and I run before school.. Thursdays I try to cycle and Fridays are a dead loss, I do run either Saturday or Sunday .I understand not everyone can cycle to work but even just walking /parking further away makes a difference.

Ok I'm in the wrong job in the wrong location! I get enough time to run down to the cafeteria and eat with my colleagues. I have to drive as I am on the motorway most of the way to my client. My other client is on the east side of Manhattan. I don't get much exercise getting there.