Anyone fancy a thread for mums who work full-time?

[Oly5]

Hello, just wondered if any other mums work full-time and fancy a bit of a thread?
I adore my kids but enjoy working full-time too. I feel it's a massive taboo to say so. This thread is for people who feel like me, who are struggling to make it work, who wish they could work less. Anyone really!

Thanks for the sympathy. Not too bad only five accidents in two days although that might be because I keep on making him sit on the potty.

DS will be 3 in feb and I am waiting for his daycare teachers to start potty training during the day before we do it at home. With dd she had a fair few accidents because DH would make her wait. Bless him but he has zero clue sometimes when it comes to handling the kids.

Oh god potty training... don't miss those days AT ALL

So this morning I dropped dd2 off at holiday club (she is on half term, dd1 is still at school - different schools different holidays - yet another nightmare for working parents) and she bawled she wanted to stay at home with mummy for the holiday like her friends are. God I hate this sometimes.

I need a command centre. We have a calendar thing going where we have a yearly and a weekly calendar, each Sunday I'm supposed to transfer appts etc from the yearly to the weekly one so that everyone can see in plain sight where and when we all need to be... but sometimes I forget, or people coughdhcough don't add their appointments - and the whole thing goes tits up and becomes pointless. I definitely need a board to remind me to pay subs etc. I do get very fed up with doing all the thinking.

I do the majority of the shopping online. I ask the dc's and dh to come up with an evening meal apiece to help me decide what to buy. DH "whatever, you know, the usual" dc's "cake and crisps". Well thank you so much for your help. Trouble is, if I complained every time someone did soemthing like this I would never stop moaning. I'm sick of moaning but I'm also sick of doing all the thinking.

DH needed some shirts washing and ironing. So he's been out and bought himself some new ones

Sorry for the offload, just feeling shitty at leaving dd2. I am so grateful not to have money worries, which is what my working means for us as a family. We have a comfortable, if not extravagent, life and reading some threads on here and seeing what some people I know in RL are going through, I am grateful for that.

iknowright I think it's harder in the UK to be a working mother because so many of the other parents have one stay home and 99% of the time it's the mother. Here in the US in our town about 90% of the parents both work so someone staying home with a parent isn't as common. It also means our town has unified holidays and all kids go to school in the same town. So even if I have 3 kids in 3 different schools in our town they have the exact same holidays. If they didn't do this there would be anarchy.

With the command center I use a lot of postits because DHs assistant writes them. We also send shirts out to be washed and ironed. The company picks them up from the house and drops them off. Makes it foolproof. Another good way to do it make it part of something you do weekly. So DH goes for a drink weekly, is there a cleaner on the way? He can drop off and pick up the following week when he drops off the next batch of dirty shirts.

Oh poor you leaving a bawling child at holiday club! It's really hard. I think the only way I cope is by making sure the time we do have together is lovely... Planking nice things, having extra cuddles cos I've
missed them. Was she fine once she was there?

Planning not planking! Stupid auto correct
And I do agree that it seems far more common in the US for both parents to work

we both work full time. Have a 2.3 year old and a 3 month old, just went back a week ago. Am abroad, 3 months is all you get as maternity leave. And yes, most mothers tend to work 50-80%, there's judging because I don't. I don't because in my line of work, it would be the same amount of work in less time, for less money, plus a career suicide.

Hi all

Going to back to work in a month or so after 2 years off. Am starting in a new company and so will be full time with a 1 hour commute each way. Have two young kids so trying my best to get organised before I start! Any hints or tips? So far I have the following:

• getting the kids clothes etc organised
• getting rid of clutter
• organising a cleaner - will go for every two weeks to start I think.

Anything else I need to think of so it will make going back easier? One child in school and one at childminder.

Have been reading through the thread and am noting things down as I go!

Get food sorted. You need a month planned in advance with as many meals precooked as possible.

Get your own clothes organised (unless in uniform, I guess). I have one of those portable hangers and sort out my outfits for a week, including shoes, on Sunday. Otherwise waisted a lot of time trying to decide what top to wear or should maybe go for a dress..

Been a while since I posted!

Been back 3 days a week for 3 weeks. I had to use up leave but I'm back 5 days in Jan.

It's been underwhelming. I hate not being with the baby and since I've been back, I applied for a senior role (this job is actually why I came back when I did, could have stayed off til Jan, and deadline was day I came back), encouraged by my boss, who interviewed me, and I didn't get it :( Feeling pretty shit about myself at the moment.

That totally sucks Cersei. Sorry to hear that.

I live abroad and am one of only a handful of full time Mums I know. I am almost looked on with pity and a judgement of "how ever do you do it"? I have lived in another country where I know only full time Mums so I thought it was somewhat normal and find the constant reminder that it isn't the norm here quite hard.

I find that being super organized helps (agree cleaners are a savior -we have one every two weeks and I can get by that long without feeling compelled to do anything). Although I lost track of what day DC reading folder was due back this week and felt quite scolded by the teacher when I told her I mixed up days and he could bring it in the next day -it will have to be next week was her snarky reply. (That actually made me cry- felt like I wasn't juggling everything that well and DC was paying the price).

I also have been focusing on getting enough sleep. I don't want to be too exhausted on weekends and want to have energy and patience to be the best parent I can in those moments.

cersai I had something similiar happen to me. I was so pissed off that I went into my boss and told him I had come back early because I really wanted the promotion and since that wasn't happening I didn't know if it was worth me sticking around to see if was going to be treated as a token employee. Not my finest moment but it needed to be said. I was promoted the following year and allowed to transfer to another department. I still have not forgotten what happened to me and I remind everyone above me that just because I'm on an 80% schedule doesn't mean I get 80% of the promotions. If I am demonstrating the skills for the next level then they need to promote me otherwise I can work elsewhere and earn my FT salary working less hours.

So glad I found this thread! Returning to work in December and we have a 5 year old and 6 month old...dreading it but weirdly getting used to the idea too. I will return...currently ds is trying to lick the cat.

I think sometimes one needs to " earn your stripes" after a period of maternity leave-which totally sucks. But I find that is often the case. I think by returning ft, working hard and keeping your head down your efforts. will be recognised.

Have you guys seen this Twitter account @manwhohasitall ? Hilarious and parodied. An account that tries to give men the advice that women give each other about working full time, managing households, being the perfect woman, wife, mother, sister, friend.

Got to the end of a very hard week. Today is inset day for the kids. For the first time ever, we are taking today off and taking kids to Peppa pig world. Usually they are outsourced to friends (there's no holiday camp organised for kids for inset day!!). Roll on half term when it's a mix of outsourcing to friends, us taking a day off each and holiday camp. Usually it would have been holiday camp whole week. That'll be what we will do for summer methinks!

I'm going back in December full time teaching. I've spent the last few months desperately not wanting to go back at all, to slowly coming around to the idea. We have a dd who's 5 and a 6 month old. I went back 4 days a week for two years after dd but although I got that day with her, it was mostly spent clearing up, food shopping etc and catching up with work, so no quality time with her, because I was still doing my full time teaching hours pretty much, plus a head of department job.
I went full time again when my parents moved to be closer to us, my mum gave up a part time job to be our paid childcare. She's amazing, and if it weren't for her I don't know how we'd cope. Ds will go into a nursery one day a week to give her a break and she'll do the school runs and get them ready in the mornings.
I am really lucky in that if I have a free lesson in the afternoon we are allowed to leave and it's just expected we will make it up at home, which of course we all do! So I'm just going to have to push myself out of the door early a few times a week to get home and get th all fed and in bed. dh is then home by 7, so I'll eat and start again working at 8. It's miserable during term times but at least I know I've got the holidays with them.
I do resent being there.sometimes, especially when I'm dealing with some lazy little toad who hasn't bothered to do the work so I'm stuck with them in detention, all I can think is you're taking this time away from my children. But then I love my subject, enjoy working with the kids, and it does make me a better mum in some ways. My mum has got so much more patience than me for when my son won't sleep in the day, because she's not up all night with him too! I get adult conversation, get to eat my lunch at my desk and get to go to the loo in peace. Sometimes.

My big problem is getting dh to realise.just how much I do and how much I think about and orchestrate everything for the family, he just seems to think it happens by magic! I'm going to divide up the jobs so he just has his tasks to do and I'll think of a suitable passive aggressive, probably punishment if he doesn't do them.
I find what helps is if I absolutely have set in,stone an activity that us just for me every week. For me it's a running club, once a week, and swimming when my daughter has her lessons. It really helps to have no one asking me anything or wanting something, just for 30 mins!

It's a very common problem that men don't get involved. I just had a major blow up with DH this morning. All rather stupid but our neighbour owns the local French bakery and I kindly looked after her DS this week when the kids were off. As a thank you she stopped by this morning with some goodies for me for a nice breakfast. DH was having a burst of cleaning while I was getting the kids ready and trying to get my breakfast. DH doesnt eat breakfast but the kids and I do. When he didn't sit down to eat the last pastry I started eating it and he had a fit. He started going on about how for the last 3 weeks he has been doing 'everything' and that I needed to go to the bakery and buy him another one.

Well I said nothing and let him stew. After he had finished and I had calmed down I got the calendar and pointed out that over the past two weeks he hasn't been around for 8 days and I've been the one doing everything those days. Oh and him washing the floors is hardly him being hard done by when I had turned 3 loads of laundry that morning PLUS washed the floors every previous day to today. He was rather taken aback and hasn't asked me to go get him another pastry. Quite frankly hell will freeze over before I get him a pastry because he couldn't be bothered to consider the needs of others or what others do for him.

DH was a SAHD with DC1 for a year. I can highly recommend this - he does more than his fair share now

Ooh hello all. Just spotted this thread. I'm back to FT work in November after my maternity leave. I did the job for years but I'm really very nervous about going back.

In my fantasy life dp becomes a stay at home parent. I swan in every evening to a clean, calm, fed child and a nice dinner, tidy house, clean clothes..
I think most men do realise how much (largely thankless) work is involved in being a SAHP (whether they admit it or not). There's a reason most of them would never agree to do it.

DH wouldn't make it a week as a SAHD. He would hire a cleaner and a nanny!

Last night DH went out with his friend who is a SAHD. I kindly put it to him that his friend doesn't have a job he has to perform in Monday morning and his son is 7 and able to get himself up in the morning.

No idea when DH got home but he was obviously drunk from his loud snoring and I found McDonald's wrappers in the bin this morning. He missed his 5am flight because he woke up late and had to buy another ticket for $900 for the next flight so decided to not go and rearrange his customer meeting for another day.

In my fantasy life, I'd have a housekeeper!

This thread looks right up my street! I work full time and I am a mum, so I'm welcome, right?

DS is twenty months today and he is an absolute riot. Non stop energy, so cheeky, very headstrong and quite a sarcastic sense of humour. Not sure exactly what me and DH did before we had him! Weekends are exhausting, I relax at work! (work full time)

He has started to talk, but as he is bilingual (French, English) he is definitely taking more time than his peers. He loves daycare which is a bonus.

Looking forward to reading more/posting!

Oh my the joy of a housekeeper. I actually want 2 housekeepers and 2 nannies so they can take shifts. I really feel for the nannies I see who are working 60+ hours a week for their families.

I'll never forget watching reruns of Beverly hills housewives after having DS and Camille Grammar said how she had 2 nannies for each child. I have to say she was one smart lady to do that. You always have more than one back up and if one nanny needs to go pee they can do so without leaving the DC unsupervised. Also makes schedule clashes a non issue.