Message for Xenia

[opinionsrus]

What I would like to ask is how exactly do you find so much spare time to chat on these boards about earning between £100k and £250k when you have five children of your own and also what seems must be a very demanding full time job?

I have just one child and a very part time job and this will be about the only 5 minutes I get to luxuriate on the internet?

just because it's published in a book doesn't make it right or true

"but remember I said there was nothing wrong with prostitution anyway"

oh well, if you say, that's ok then, thanks

Uwila I knew you were my type!
Xenia please consider running for prime minister.

You are bloody clever

it would be a good laugh

but horrifying

Bump

Leaving your baby at 2 weeks old FGS!!

"It's going a bit far to say I've labelled all women on mumsnet who take money, give sex and keep house as prostitutes"

That is really your idea of a relationship, isn't it? It's truly sad. I see you put no mention of 'looking after the children' there, but then, you have no real experience of that, have you?

I've noticed that the 'I've got five kids, two live in nannies, an assortment of au-pairs and a couple of housekeepers, earn £500,000 a year and cannot imagine what prostitutes at home do all day as children require no care whatsoever (despite the fact that I pay for numerous staff to do the job)' brigade never think of relationships as an amicable partnership, nor that the jobs of parents might include looking after the children. Which is so utterly remote from the experience of around 99% of the population to be pretty irrelevant.
They also appear to absolutely fetishise money, so that anything that is not done for money is inherently worthless. So looking after children for money is worthwhile, looking after them for love is contemptible. There also seems to be a deep seated terror of dependence (as another poster mentioned) - either of depending on others or having others depend on you - and even of love.
I don't know a huge amount about Carole Pateman, but I'd guess her experience of marriage and motherhood is at best rather limited.

lol dara - i like your style. jasper -the tone of xenia posts in the main ( ie excluding her some of her more recent ones on this thread) has been derisive of women who work in the home. At times it is easy to interpret what she says as smug, self congratulatory, teachings of a female liberator. She has shown no sense of perspective re her reasonable choices in respect of the reasonable choices of others that are at opposite ends of the normal spectrum. In Xenias world it has mainly been her way or the high way. what is worse she doesnt know any sahms by her own admission. On the subject of prostitution I know what percentage of the working population doesnt prostitute themselves on a daily basis. you often have to been in a fairly safe position ie at the top of you profession, have a rare skill etc to have some freedom of speech / choice in your job. I know many people who have metaphorically speaking bent over to do what their bosses have told them, or to avoid going against the company line. its called politics. Because they get paid in £'s does that make it ok?

Leaving your baby at two weeks?

I didn't want to get out of BED a fortnight after I'd delivered, much less go to work!

Bugger that!

Of course, I'm one of those peasants who looked after her own children and suckle a newborn.

I dont think its anything to brag about leaving your baby after two weeks. especially when you describe going back to work as easy.

Poor old Engels still needs to keep bashing out messages like that until women and men ensure fairness at home (which is coming). I'm very encouraged by the differences between boys of 20 in their expectations of home life and some men in their 50s. There's much more of an expectation of paternity leave, choices over time at home etc with younger fathers than there ever was. Keep up your good work with your sons.

I'm hoping that's the case for my daughters' future, Xenia, should they both be heterosexual and want to have children.

Sometimes, I read a lot of these threads and think - robbing moondog here, 'How gives these types of blokes the time of day?'

I'd have left skidmarks!

That would be 'Who', not 'How'.

I think if people could spend as much money on pre marriage guidance/getting to know your partner and their views on 500 different subjects as they did on fussing over stupid expensive wedding clothes and arrangements people would find things a lot better.

My daughters do comment. One was abroad in her boyfriend's parents' place with them and she was surprised to see a mother who on holiday did all the domestic things. She'd have never seen that set up before of a holiday and one parent idle and a woman serving, cooking, cleaning, even after adult sons.

Now this catering to ANY adult child in such a manner I find repugnant.

I've seen females like this as well, and find that just as off-putting.

I'm guyilty of it to some extent. I just stacked the dishwasher as the group of 6 went out to a nighclub at midnight...but I agree in principle. His father also criticised his mother for not doing various domestic things, collecting dry cleaning or something when the father was just as idle as the mother and my daughter noticed and commented because her norm has never been men sit around and women serve.

I don't mean helping out, b/c that's fun.

But pandering to them b/c you never gave them credit for being able to run the most basic elements of their lives themselves.

I mean, ffs, my three-year-old wants to help out w/the chores. It makes children feel a part of the family and team.

I take full advantage of this.

I don't want to bring up a child who can't even manage her own place.

I always ditched people like this. I mean, if they can't clean up their own shit, imagine the state of the rest of their lives.

I agree. Small children love to help. A pity that seems to wear off when they start to become most competent and often disappears for all the messy teenage years.

(...Nightclub revellers home at 4 (quietly), twins up before 7. It's a 24/7 house...)

Just wanted to log a note of support for Xenia.

Why on earth do women get so catty about others who are evidently successful and are able to say what the rest of us are often thinking but often dont have either the guts or the eloquence to say!

If this was a mens' site this thread would not have occurred. Its like a public stoning at the beginning and I think its disgusting that some of these 'ladies' said the things they said.

I have no doubt they certainly wouldn't say to Xenia's face.

Xenia has helped me sort out perplexing thoughts on several occasions.

Thank you, Xenia. I know you are not a troll and I am even more certain you are not a bloke from the advice you have given to me in the past!
I can smell testosterone at a 100 paces!

Please carry on and be aware that for every 10 gobby Mumsnetters shouting at you there are 20+ who are quietly nodding at home!

Or quite the opposite, I suspect.
I think it is hilarious, and possibly indicative of the misogynistic attitudes that we have all been surrounded by all our lives, that there is still this feminine reverence for a woman who earns a lot of money, speaks in a traditionally male way and clearly despises women who make choices other than hers. I suppose it is rather thrilling in a macho way. But really, calling women who look after their own kids 'prostitutes' then saying, disingenously, 'Oh, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being a prostitute' is so feeble.
Would that defence stand up for one second in a libel case? Is not not an insult to call someone stupid/immoral/a useless slag as long as you say, 'well, I think it's fine to be stupid/immoral/a useless slag'?

"be aware that for every 10 gobby Mumsnetters shouting at you there are 20+ who are quietly nodding at home." Eh? How on earth can you possibly know this Mrs Noah. What a silly thing to say.