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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Another BBC mess: "Do you think it’s right to tell transgender people which toilet to use?" Let's ask some men...

455 replies

BridgetYourFortyDaysAreUp · 12/09/2026 19:14

https://genderblog.net/bbc-gender-apology-row/

From Nick Wallis' Genderblog:

On 6 August 2026, BBC Three Counties local radio station, which covers Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire and Buckinghamshire, ran a half hour current affairs chat on the Jonathan Vernon-Smith Show. The midday item was posed as a question: “Do you think it’s right to tell transgender people which toilet to use?”

The first contributor put on air to talk about that question were Robin Moira White, a male barrister who claims to be a woman. Robin advocates for men to be able to use women’s toilets and does so himself. The next guest was Nora Padilla, a full-time policy officer at the campaign group TransActual, which also advocates for men to be able to use women’s toilets. Then we heard from “Michelle” from Watford. Like Robin, Michelle is a man who claims to be a woman and – surprise surprise – advocates for male use of female facilities....
[my bold]

And the story goes on. And gets more and more damning for the BBC. The useless, ridiculously activist, taxpayer-supported BBC... Still.

BBC Gender Apology Row

Now they’re in trouble. Sex Matters. (l-r) Dr Helen Joyce, Maya Forstater and Fiona McAnena I am not a defund the BBC sort, but I can understand the frustrations of those who are. I have spok…

https://genderblog.net/bbc-gender-apology-row/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
ArabellaScott · 13/09/2026 07:40

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 04:24

There are reasons why female people need to have single sex communal basins and public space not just cubicles in busy provisions.

Which is why building regs and H&S regs mandate it.

ArabellaScott · 13/09/2026 07:51

NotTodayTy · 12/09/2026 23:50

I think we should go back to the old approach. Trans women use female spaces with the rampant entitlement we see today. You do your best to blend in and be pleasant, and you don’t ask and don’t tell. Simple.

'I think we should let men do whatever they want and women should not make a fuss. Simple'

ArabellaScott · 13/09/2026 07:55

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:49

It’s not just about transphobia though, is it? Trans people so strongly identify with the opposite sex we transition. What is the benefit to using a space that causes distress?

Gosh, the selfishness is actually spectacular.

Women are not concerned with how using our spaces may 'benefit' some men.

We have rights to privacy, safety, and dignity. We fought hard for them.

You can't have them.

borntobequiet · 13/09/2026 08:21

alcovecupboards · 12/09/2026 23:34

Not billions but don't you find it odd that there are a few people who never mentioned it until they found a way to monetize it? Nick being one. Sharon Davies being another. She was down to her last farthing a few years ago and now she's raking in £400 a day at taxpayer's expense. You really think she believes half the nonsense she spouts?

Carry on, you’re doing a great job.

borntobequiet · 13/09/2026 08:33

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:49

It’s not just about transphobia though, is it? Trans people so strongly identify with the opposite sex we transition. What is the benefit to using a space that causes distress?

It’s a mystery why this strong identification with the opposite sex doesn’t give you any insight as to why female people don’t want male people in their changing rooms and toilets, however strong their delusion may be.
You’re a man. Use male or unisex spaces. Keep out of women’s.

akkakk · 13/09/2026 08:37

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:49

It’s not just about transphobia though, is it? Trans people so strongly identify with the opposite sex we transition. What is the benefit to using a space that causes distress?

Nope

  • no-one has ever transitioned.
  • no ‘trans woman’ has yet shown why there is any greater risk in using the men’s loos than alternatives
  • any space a ‘trans woman’ goes into becomes a male or mixed space because they are men. It is impossible for a ‘trans woman’ to be in a ‘female only’ space as their presence means it is no longer female only.
  • so women’s spaces are eradicated by a ‘trans woman’ entering them and making them mixed sex.
  • men have no issue with ‘trans women’ in men’s spaces because they are men - if you are a jumpers and jeans type of chap as you describe yourself then you will fit in very well - we are even used to having men wearing make up and nail polish in the gents!
  • men pretending to be women don’t ‘pass’ there are too many clues - your continued use of women’s spaces will be causing concern to women…

p.s. there is no such thing as cis men - all who are born male are men - end of discussion! You don’t get to label us…

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 08:55

NotTodayTy · 12/09/2026 23:50

I think we should go back to the old approach. Trans women use female spaces with the rampant entitlement we see today. You do your best to blend in and be pleasant, and you don’t ask and don’t tell. Simple.

“You do your best to blend in and be pleasant, and you don’t ask and don’t tell. Simple.”

Just wanting to highlight this.

This behaviour is indicating a male person who ignores / dismisses / rejects female people’s consent. Or negotiates that consent with bargains because he won’t accept ‘no’.

Access to female single sex provisions are decided by strong safeguarding principles to protect female people from harm - any harm and not just physical harm. It is the very opposite of respecting safeguarding principles to allow any male person above 8 -10 years old to use a female single sex provision.

Of course, no other female person can give consent for any other female person either. Consent is not transferable.

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 09:01

It is not ok for male people to just use female single sex provisions by stealth. What is the difference between a male person using the provision by stealth and these male people?

Both actions ignore/dismiss/reject female people’s collective consent which cannot be gained.

These videos are a reminder of the other common reaction from men we see to our rejection that they are female people in any way. This is the reaction to being told ‘no, you should respect female people’s needs for single sex provisions’ by a celebrity.

Alexandra Billings self published these videos . This one first I believe.

https://x.com/gaynotqueer1/status/2032811484271817092?s=46

Then the chilling and menacing response to women saying 'no' here stitched into Amy Sousa’s response.

https://x.com/knownheretic/status/2032639781658833142?s=46

The menace is chilling to see. Yet, apparently we are supposed to welcome these same men into provisions designated as single sex for our protection from men threatening and intimidating us.

It becomes so clear that these men hate female people in general when they gloat over not being able to stop them accessing provisions that they should be excluded from and lack the inclination to self exclude from. Just as they gloat over organisational decisions to remove female single sex provisions in response to law changes that exclude male people from those provisions.

At the same time, we are supposed to believe that these men are most vulnerable and marginalised.

This set of tweets is from Daviana. Who started posting videos about how he knew he was a man etc. He was considered to be 'one of the reasonable ones' because of that.

Of course, as he has made more videos more has come out about what and how he really thinks. Including his behaviour towards his ex-wife...

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2031523680136868150?s=20

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2031873045682667588?s=20

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2031975467725832460?s=20

These men are chilling once you see what they really think.

The gloating from this man as he also envisions negative impacts on female people because they rejected his demands seems to be highlighting just how common that reaction is from men who don’t get what they want from women.

Billings and Daviana are just two men who are showing women who they really are. It seems some men really cannot help themselves in showing that these demands are also part of the power dynamic.

It makes those ‘you got what you deserved after you rejected me’ behaviours all so familiar.

Amy E. Sousa, MA Depth Psychology (@KnownHeretic) on X

Alexandra Billings is another entitled man who thinks his cosmetic purchases buy him an all access pass to violate women’s boundaries. I respond to his snarky video point for point.

https://x.com/knownheretic/status/2032639781658833142?s=46

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 09:04

Maybe these videos will help also to explain consent and the manipulative tactics we see too often.

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2006188958586380420?s=20

here are some others that I thought were appropriate on the thread and still think appropriate now the thread is finished.

'isn't it just kind?' - about linguistic disruptions and a particularly a good point about children

^https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2014565139341836724?s=20^

here she uses someone's video as an example

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2016359954098364468?s=20

and here is the one that talks about bypassing consent in more clarity

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2002449600146530366?s=20

This one is a vid about people not knowing their sex if they have not been 'tested'.

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2016357787752923290?s=20

So much effort to 'bypass consent'.

Amy E. Sousa, MA Depth Psychology (@KnownHeretic) on X

@femaxxnews @DOGE__news I’ve done this one!

https://x.com/KnownHeretic/status/2016359954098364468?s=20

Theeyeballsinthesky · 13/09/2026 09:05

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 08:55

“You do your best to blend in and be pleasant, and you don’t ask and don’t tell. Simple.”

Just wanting to highlight this.

This behaviour is indicating a male person who ignores / dismisses / rejects female people’s consent. Or negotiates that consent with bargains because he won’t accept ‘no’.

Access to female single sex provisions are decided by strong safeguarding principles to protect female people from harm - any harm and not just physical harm. It is the very opposite of respecting safeguarding principles to allow any male person above 8 -10 years old to use a female single sex provision.

Of course, no other female person can give consent for any other female person either. Consent is not transferable.

Like the absolute unit that is RMW blending all 6ft 4 of him into the ladies toilets at Bristol airport. He blended in to paraphrase as much a giraffe wearing sunglasses at a polar bear only golf club

of course he took the fact no woman challenged him as a fact no one noticed rather than 'oh ffs there's a massive bloke in a dress, just ignore him and get out of here quick'

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 09:09

This is an interesting thread too from Lucy Hunter Blackburn on X. It goes through 'balancing of rights' which is often used to justify male access to female single sex provisions.

https://x.com/LucyHunterB/status/2018987216207536383?s=20

4/2/26 9.57 am

-start-

“Spending today (yet again) sitting in the court of session listening to the Scottish government discuss its determination that some men should be treated by like women, in one way or another. This time - prisons. I expect to hear much talk “balancing of rights”. But /

As others said, this is a case where an attractive-sounding concept has been introduced into a context where it simply does not belong. Whether we’re talking about rights as moral/ethical, protected in domestic law or international human rights standards…/

there are plenty of times where I don’t have a right to something and “balancing” simply doesn’t come into it. As a trivial example, I don’t have the right to…./

go down to the local primary school sports day and join the races, because of my lifelong hopeless track record of coming first or nostalgia for childhood. No one talks about balancing my exclusion from that, because it would be absurd to think in such terms in the first place…/

At a most serious level, a person who is sleeping on the streets, and whose need for food and shelter is objectively extremely high, has no right to enter your house, sleep there and be fed by you. No one is going to talk about “balancing” rights in that specific context…/

Moving closer to today’s case, there are a lot of men in the prison estate who would be assessed as vulnerable and might well be safer with women, and prefer to be held in the female estate. We wouldn’t talk about “balancing” their rights…./

Well, in fact, it worries me that the government is running arguments that leads exactly to that logical conclusion. However, no one sane would buy that at the moment. Ms Chapman, maybe, might./

And then we come to a small subset of male prisoners, who feel very strongly that they have a special right to be held with women. And some people who hold a particular metaphysical belief about gendered souls, or a “done enough“ philosophy based on appearance, or maybe/

having made a rod for their own back by keeping some of these men in the women’s estate for years, can’t face dealing with moving them out (am I getting close, SPS?), agree with these men. To believe that “balancing rights” is relevant here, you must believe that the assertion/

of entitlement to be treated as a woman creates a right to that. Unlike the assertion that you’d simply be happier or safer in a women’s prison, less at risk of dying if I let you into my house, or more likely to win something if you’re allowed to enter a primary school race./

It is, in other words, very far from a given that there are rights here that needs balancing. And the argument as to why there is would have to be made from very first principles, before “balancing” could be raised at all. Feeling sorry for people, for example, is not enough./

You should feel very sorry for anyone sleeping out in the streets in the current weather. That doesn’t mean I’m going to argue that they have a right of some sort to enter any house and seek shelter. And if you told them they did, you would not be being kind./

“Balancing rights” is irrelevant in today’s case, in my view. But even if you disagree, to argue it at all you without first have to make the argument fully from first principles why there is a right among this subset of men based on their assertion of it./

And if there’s one thing I know for sure that I am not going to hear in court today, or ever, not even incoherently, let alone coherently, it’s the Scottish government making that argument.

-end-

Lucy Hunter Blackburn profile picture

Lucy Hunter Blackburn (@LucyHunterB) on X

Spending today (yet again) sitting in the court of session listening to the Scottish government discuss its determination that some men should be treated by like women, in one way or another. This time - prisons. I expect to hear much talk “balancing o...

https://x.com/LucyHunterB/status/2018987216207536383?s=20

iwishitwouldstartraining · 13/09/2026 09:12

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 08:55

“You do your best to blend in and be pleasant, and you don’t ask and don’t tell. Simple.”

Just wanting to highlight this.

This behaviour is indicating a male person who ignores / dismisses / rejects female people’s consent. Or negotiates that consent with bargains because he won’t accept ‘no’.

Access to female single sex provisions are decided by strong safeguarding principles to protect female people from harm - any harm and not just physical harm. It is the very opposite of respecting safeguarding principles to allow any male person above 8 -10 years old to use a female single sex provision.

Of course, no other female person can give consent for any other female person either. Consent is not transferable.

I also don’t think it’s what the law has ever said or has ever been common practice.

Please anyone correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that until the sex discrimination Act 1975 the law didn’t evaluate when sex discrimination was lawful, because it had never previously been unlawful.

Since 1975 single sex exceptions have been necessary and they all operate on the basis that it is sometimes reasonable to object to the presence of/exclude the opposite sex.

They didn’t come up with this part of the legislation for fun. It was clearly required because it reflected a societal expectation that some services should be single sex.

That is meaningless if the policy is ‘don’t ask/don’t tell’.

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 09:17

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:49

It’s not just about transphobia though, is it? Trans people so strongly identify with the opposite sex we transition. What is the benefit to using a space that causes distress?

see the above thread from Lucy Hunter Blackburn.

https://x.com/LucyHunterB/status/2018987216207536383?s=20

The answer to male people’s personal distress at using male single sex provisions is not that they get to use female single sex provisions.

That is also not considered a basic ‘human right’ to make that choice. That is male people demanding an additional privilege that no other person has. The choice of not just accessing a male single sex provision, but the choice to use the opposite sex provision because they personally make the decision to reject the male provision provided for them.

Single sex provisions were never accessible based on personal presentation. They were provided based on sex category of human as needed for safeguarding female people from a wide range of harm that is not limited to physical harm.

Lucy Hunter Blackburn profile picture

Lucy Hunter Blackburn (@LucyHunterB) on X

Spending today (yet again) sitting in the court of session listening to the Scottish government discuss its determination that some men should be treated by like women, in one way or another. This time - prisons. I expect to hear much talk “balancing o...

https://x.com/LucyHunterB/status/2018987216207536383?s=20

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 09:20

I am sure many of us remember the male person with a transgender identity who defended the ‘don’t ask / don’t tell’ line when it came to disclosing their sex to prospective sex partners too.

Catiette · 13/09/2026 09:25

AimsAndObjectives · 12/09/2026 21:02

Why wouldn't GC people want to debate this publicly with people who advocate for allowing some men into women's toilets? Free speech and open debate about contentious issues is the bedrock of a mature democracy. How interesting that you consider that balanced reporting would be a 'backfire'.

Agree. I found this comment VERY telling! I'd quite genuinely rather have both sides represented - 1) it's the way it should be, whatever the subject, if it's contentious with a bit of weight to both arguments (here, trans people really do feel they're losing out, whatever the facts of the matter re. sex, and I can understand that to some degree) and 2) in any case, the others side's arguments just don't stand up to scrutiny, which is why, now the public are actually hearing the debate, they're losing ground.

I seriously doubt we'd be in the position we're now in if GI versus GC had been honestly debated from the start as opposed to Dentons & #nodebate. It's very much in GC interests to have both sides speaking freely.

ArabellaScott · 13/09/2026 09:44

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 09:09

This is an interesting thread too from Lucy Hunter Blackburn on X. It goes through 'balancing of rights' which is often used to justify male access to female single sex provisions.

https://x.com/LucyHunterB/status/2018987216207536383?s=20

4/2/26 9.57 am

-start-

“Spending today (yet again) sitting in the court of session listening to the Scottish government discuss its determination that some men should be treated by like women, in one way or another. This time - prisons. I expect to hear much talk “balancing of rights”. But /

As others said, this is a case where an attractive-sounding concept has been introduced into a context where it simply does not belong. Whether we’re talking about rights as moral/ethical, protected in domestic law or international human rights standards…/

there are plenty of times where I don’t have a right to something and “balancing” simply doesn’t come into it. As a trivial example, I don’t have the right to…./

go down to the local primary school sports day and join the races, because of my lifelong hopeless track record of coming first or nostalgia for childhood. No one talks about balancing my exclusion from that, because it would be absurd to think in such terms in the first place…/

At a most serious level, a person who is sleeping on the streets, and whose need for food and shelter is objectively extremely high, has no right to enter your house, sleep there and be fed by you. No one is going to talk about “balancing” rights in that specific context…/

Moving closer to today’s case, there are a lot of men in the prison estate who would be assessed as vulnerable and might well be safer with women, and prefer to be held in the female estate. We wouldn’t talk about “balancing” their rights…./

Well, in fact, it worries me that the government is running arguments that leads exactly to that logical conclusion. However, no one sane would buy that at the moment. Ms Chapman, maybe, might./

And then we come to a small subset of male prisoners, who feel very strongly that they have a special right to be held with women. And some people who hold a particular metaphysical belief about gendered souls, or a “done enough“ philosophy based on appearance, or maybe/

having made a rod for their own back by keeping some of these men in the women’s estate for years, can’t face dealing with moving them out (am I getting close, SPS?), agree with these men. To believe that “balancing rights” is relevant here, you must believe that the assertion/

of entitlement to be treated as a woman creates a right to that. Unlike the assertion that you’d simply be happier or safer in a women’s prison, less at risk of dying if I let you into my house, or more likely to win something if you’re allowed to enter a primary school race./

It is, in other words, very far from a given that there are rights here that needs balancing. And the argument as to why there is would have to be made from very first principles, before “balancing” could be raised at all. Feeling sorry for people, for example, is not enough./

You should feel very sorry for anyone sleeping out in the streets in the current weather. That doesn’t mean I’m going to argue that they have a right of some sort to enter any house and seek shelter. And if you told them they did, you would not be being kind./

“Balancing rights” is irrelevant in today’s case, in my view. But even if you disagree, to argue it at all you without first have to make the argument fully from first principles why there is a right among this subset of men based on their assertion of it./

And if there’s one thing I know for sure that I am not going to hear in court today, or ever, not even incoherently, let alone coherently, it’s the Scottish government making that argument.

-end-

Excellent thread.

Naunet · 13/09/2026 09:55

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:49

It’s not just about transphobia though, is it? Trans people so strongly identify with the opposite sex we transition. What is the benefit to using a space that causes distress?

Because your "distress" does not trump womens distress, or give you a free pass to use our spaces. You may identify with women, whatever that means, but they don't identify with you.

AimsAndObjectives · 13/09/2026 10:00

Myalternate · 13/09/2026 01:08

I use the icons on my iPad 💜🤍💚

Thanks. I don't have a tablet so that solution is a bit too expensive for me 😁

Catiette · 13/09/2026 10:00

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:00

I don’t use the mens I’m afraid, I transitioned very early 20d and have very successfully integrated. You wouldn’t have any reason to fear me, but I certainly do understand why you’d have an issue with some people

"You don't have any reason to fear me"... but could have reason to fear others.

Just think about this for a second.

Do you realise it gives your interior reality absolute primacy over every single hypothetical woman's?

In it, your perception of your physical appearance outweighs whatever she sees. Your knowledge of your risk profile renders her perceptions, as a separate human being to you, with an interior reality of her own, utterly irrelevant (YOU know you're ok, so... she knows that, too?! Or she should know, because you do?! Or what she thinks and feels is irrelevant, as what you know is, bizarrely, superimposed over it?!?)

In short, you tell us here that your own subjective reality, in every single brief encounter in that space with an individual woman, totally absorbs her own: each complex human female life of tens of thousands of interactions with males, probable abuse, possible trauma becomes.... an irrelevance. Because you yourself know that "You don't have any reason to fear me."

(Which is, of course, exactly what every single man who may have abused her will have, at some point, relied on her believing, too).

Besides the emotional reasoning and sheer illogicality of this argument, the invisibilisation in it of women as having any meaningful autonomous existence is really striking.

Your entitlement here is EXACTLY the kind of which you speak, that you say should go.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 13/09/2026 10:06

Oh god it's not that bloke who definitely transitioned in his early 20s so you honestly really couldn't tell, behaving like a typical man all over the thread again is it?

iwishitwouldstartraining · 13/09/2026 10:09

Catiette · 13/09/2026 10:00

"You don't have any reason to fear me"... but could have reason to fear others.

Just think about this for a second.

Do you realise it gives your interior reality absolute primacy over every single hypothetical woman's?

In it, your perception of your physical appearance outweighs whatever she sees. Your knowledge of your risk profile renders her perceptions, as a separate human being to you, with an interior reality of her own, utterly irrelevant (YOU know you're ok, so... she knows that, too?! Or she should know, because you do?! Or what she thinks and feels is irrelevant, as what you know is, bizarrely, superimposed over it?!?)

In short, you tell us here that your own subjective reality, in every single brief encounter in that space with an individual woman, totally absorbs her own: each complex human female life of tens of thousands of interactions with males, probable abuse, possible trauma becomes.... an irrelevance. Because you yourself know that "You don't have any reason to fear me."

(Which is, of course, exactly what every single man who may have abused her will have, at some point, relied on her believing, too).

Besides the emotional reasoning and sheer illogicality of this argument, the invisibilisation in it of women as having any meaningful autonomous existence is really striking.

Your entitlement here is EXACTLY the kind of which you speak, that you say should go.

In it, your perception of your physical appearance outweighs whatever she sees. Your knowledge of your risk profile renders her perceptions, as a separate human being to you, with an interior reality of her own, utterly irrelevant

Also, the question is not whether a woman fears any particular man. The exceptions in the Equality Act just acknowledge that that there are some things that people prefer not to do in the presence of the opposite sex, like get changed.

Rollingpinofdoom · 13/09/2026 10:09

Theeyeballsinthesky · 13/09/2026 10:06

Oh god it's not that bloke who definitely transitioned in his early 20s so you honestly really couldn't tell, behaving like a typical man all over the thread again is it?

Edited

The one who totally passes but experiences horrendous transphobia every day?

Catiette · 13/09/2026 10:23

nutmeg7 · 13/09/2026 07:33

It is more than “lack of positive benefit” to women. It is actively detrimental to women. Half of the human race. Why should we accept that reduction in the provision made for the female sex?

Trans women might not like going into male toilets but it doesn’t mean that any man uncomfortable using male toilets should be allowed into the female toilets (or prison, or any other space).

Trans people should have campaigned for third unisex spaces all along if they had the remotest understanding of what it means to be female in the world and what this means for how safe women feel in closed off spaces with male-bodied people. But they don’t understand.

We do not owe it to any male person to give up what women campaigned for.

...if they had the remotest understanding of what it means to be female in the world and what this means for how safe women feel in closed off spaces with male-bodied people. But they don’t understand.

This is the paradox at the heart of the debate.

The moment a transwoman argues for access to female-only spaces, they distinguish themselves from a majority of the sex with which they "identify", globally.

Just a few posts above this, Ty asserts, with absolute confidence, that unisex cubicles and communal basins aren't an issue.

My God, the privilege of not seeing it.

I'd kill to live like that.

Catiette · 13/09/2026 10:24

Ty, this isn't to undermine the challenges you face, yourself. But my point is, they're different.

Helleofabore · 13/09/2026 10:32

NotTodayTy · 13/09/2026 00:00

I don’t use the mens I’m afraid, I transitioned very early 20d and have very successfully integrated. You wouldn’t have any reason to fear me, but I certainly do understand why you’d have an issue with some people

“I don’t use the mens I’m afraid, I transitioned very early 20d and have very successfully integrated. You wouldn’t have any reason to fear me, but I certainly do understand why you’d have an issue with some people”

Another statement that ignores / dismisses or rejects female people’s consent.

And both tries to tell female people, as a male person, what female people have to accept ‘I don’t use the men’s, I’m afraid’, while wheedling at the same time with the ‘successfully integrated’ and ‘wouldn’t have reason to fear me’ statements.

And as others have said, the “You wouldn’t have any reason to fear me” is also very enlightening.