Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…

[SingleSexSpacesInSchools]

I only discovered this after having made two reports, and it’s Sunday, so I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow if they are going to follow through.

• [This paragraph has been removed at the OP's request]

I'm sure someone will be along in a minute and ask why it has to be a thing in a relationship at all but given the case I’m following through it sort of has to be out there!

Sorry, what now?

I don't think there's illegal discrimination here.

They've made sex/gender a self-declared field, and it's possible to see lots of reasons why. They don't want to be targeted by TRAs. Many trans people will not sign up at all if asked for biological sex. Or they will lie.

Beyond that, it's caveat emptor.

Obviously, it's not ideal to withhold information that's highly relevant to dating preferences, but this will inconvenience everyone equally, irrespective of sex, sexual orientation, GC belief, or trans status.

There are ostensibly straight men, and women, who date – or even prefer – transwomen, so having more granular information up front would benefit trans users in one respect – but this is in tension with their desire to have the option of concealing their sex until they get to know someone.

From admins' point of view, OP is exactly like a user repeatedly complaining about being sent Catholics when he only wants Protestants, despite knowing (because he filled in the same form himself) that the site doesn't disaggregate users by Christian denomination in the first place. He's just going to have to ask. Deleting his account for being annoying is extreme but not discriminatory.

They want every possible iteration of uniqueness dulled into oblivion, just like a dystopic novel where everyone does the same and wears the same and gets the same. You will own nothing and you will be happy.

Fuck that shit.

Ha, I even saw her double down on it in am old episode of HIGNFY the other night....

Oh, it was only 90% of giraffes that she thinks are gay. So that’s alright then

shatner’s bassoon anyone?

www.theguardian.com/science/shortcuts/2019/oct/29/99-per-cent-giraffes-gay-loving-looks-misunderstood

Clearly it’s not though. I suspect the “born gay” rhetoric was designed to shut down homophobia and the idea it could be treated. Sexual preference also has environmental components as well as innate drivers. Sometimes you just meet the person who makes sense to you.

Some people clearly will only ever be attracted to the same sex but only one of the lesbians I know has never had a boyfriend previously to finding their female partner. Two of them have been married (to men). I even know of a stanch lesbian who is trans rights. She’s slept with trans women but is happily married to her wife.
I mean obviously theres an element of process of elimination but equally definitely there was attraction to something about their male partners.

The reason male/female is important is because it’s biological fact. Gender and who you love or want sex with isn’t .

Ah, yes, my mistake, sorry Dawn 🤣

EA2010 is a ragbag of historic legislation that was needed at the time and they can't bring themselves to cross anything out. That's why married status is still protected at work, despite being unnecessary, and discrimination against single people actually existing. It was to solve the problem of women being sacked on marriage.

Just realised I maybe didn't understand your post. Are you objecting to sexual orientation being a PC, or to gender ideologues trying to abolish it as a concept altogether?

You may be correct, though it does seem that bisexual people have an advantage here.
I'm not on these apps but I do think that the fields need to be crystal clear that they refer to gender identity and not sex. For example, I would not want a young lesbian pitching up for a date thinking that she is meeting a woman and therefore unprepared for the extra precautions one might take for meeting a man.

If a woman is attracted to men she's not a lesbian.

A lesbian is a person who is exclusively attracted to women. It's really not difficult. If you're going to pretend that the word lesbian doesn't mean that, that's just more linguistic gymnastics.

Sexual orientation is a protected characteristic precisely because of this homophobia.

For example, I would not want a young lesbian pitching up for a date thinking that she is meeting a woman and therefore unprepared for the extra precautions one might take for meeting a man.

This. It's much more dangerous for women. That's why I think there is a discriminatory aspect to it.

If a gay man meets a woman pretending to be a man, he's unlikely to be in danger.

If it's a woman wanting to meet another woman and a man shows up, it's completely different. Especially if she rejects him.

Edited to add that it's not great for a heterosexual man, like the OP. Showing up on a date to be confronted by a unit in a dress, is a very volatile situation waiting to happen.

I think perhaps men have an advantage, because they are less exposed to risk of assault, and lesbians are most disadvantaged. This doesn't help OP.

Snap! @Datun

@Datun @theilltemperedmonster I agree that it does seem to discriminate against women. I see that this doesn't help OP.
This is another thing that I hate about this oppressive ideology. It means that it is nearly always women who have to bring claims and there are so many reasons why it can be harder for women to do that than men.

I think it does disadvantage the OP. He's not going on a dating website to be confronted by a 6 foot man who is about to be rejected as a sexual partner.

Any man, more than a woman, who pretends he's not a man is a potential threat.

The dating apps are generally like this. You see a lot of the AGP men wanting the male attention to fulfil their own fantasies, plus there seems to be a lot of homophobia within Asian cultures whereby you see a lot of the men claiming to be non-binary etc because they don't feel "manly" enough to call themselves male.

Anyone meeting up with someone unknown from a dating app is in danger.

There have been a lot of cases of honeytraps with men, where the men think they're going to meet a women only to find a gang ready to rob them. This is also quite prominent on Grindr.

Is it what the membership is most happy with though? That's your assumption with no foundation. It makes them more money and avoids vexatious litigation.

But that isn’t the reality. Sexuality is completely tied to time and place and politics.
How else would you describe “coming out”. Clearly some gay and lesbian people will have been in straight relationships. Not forced or coerced. Does that preclude them from being gay or lesbian then?
Homophobia is the reason we have to protect against sexual orientation discrimination, agreed
However it’s like women’s rights. Historically not allowed to vote because women were considered unintelligent Now it’s completely obvious women should vote. The fact that some are going to be too thick to understand the arguments doesn’t matter.
We don’t have to say born gay or you are defined by who you previously have sex with because a lesbian will be a biological woman in a relationship with a biological woman.

I think that the point is that women are in more danger than men from sex deception. That is where the discrimination lies.
Presumably both women and men are in danger of the awful scenario you describe, so not discrimination.

Straight women on a dating site are never going to see or interact with the profiles of the trans-identifying men they (apparently) wish to see included because of #bekind.

It’s only the men with whom those straight women are looking to connect who are disadvantaged, by being shown extra profiles they don’t want to see but can’t filter out.

Quite bizarre.

Users of dating sites are not happy with what is forced on them.

A few years ago (perhaps with BLM) Grindr removed a popular feature that allowed men to filter out on race. The change was not popular.

You're living in you own fantasy world pretending that everyone who uses these apps aligns with the current California political leanings.

Coming out doesn't mean I used to be straight and now I'm gay. It's fear of saying you're gay.

and of course, some people will have a sexual relationship with someone else without being attracted to them.

That's not what sexual orientation is. It's not who you slept with. It's which sex you're attracted to.

I do wonder if some of the people who don't quite get this may be bisexual.

It might be difficult to appreciate that, yes, to most people their sexual orientation is exclusive and unchanging.

No i didnt say it is not a thing. Just that most people are somewhere other than the ends of the kinsey scale

I think they are.

Whether or not straight women see trans women/TIMs will depend on whether the trans woman/TIM says they are a man or a woman. Apparently a woman who seeks men in this thread said she sees trans women in her male search so at least some trans women say they are men/male.