@Princessblackberry , you are collapsing several completely different things: disliking an individual profile, reporting a category error, breaking a company rule, and violating a woman’s personal boundaries.
I did not report someone because they were unattractive, divorced, had children, or were simply “not my type”. I reported a male profile appearing in a feed I had explicitly set to women. Sex is not a minor dating preference comparable to an old photograph. For a heterosexual person, it is the basis of sexual orientation.
Nor does clicking “accept” mean someone has knowingly read, understood and endorsed every line of a dating app’s boilerplate. Almost nobody reads the terms and conditions of anything, least of all before joining a dating website. Even where such terms are contractually effective, that does not make every policy reasonable, morally correct, or immune from criticism.
You also wrote:
“You seem keen to not advise if you were warned you may be deleted.”
That is simply false. I never said Hinge had personally warned me in advance. I said that, after I reported a male profile for appearing in the women’s section, I was shown the policy saying that reporting someone for being trans could be a deletable offence. Those are not the same thing. You have substituted a claim I did not make and then criticised me for avoiding an answer to it.
Your use of the word “boundaries” is also confused. You are perfectly entitled to say that particular language makes you uncomfortable and ask someone not to use it towards you again. What you cannot fairly do is retroactively declare that a previously unstated boundary has been crossed, then condemn someone for not having known about it.
You voluntarily entered a public discussion specifically about sex, sexual orientation, genital compatibility and dating. Other posters had already used phrases such as “don’t like dick” and considerably stronger language. When I said I do not like dick, it was not directed sexually at you, nor was it an invitation or personal comment. It was a concise explanation of why a male is not a possible partner for me. The fact that you are female and I am male has nothing to do with whether I am permitted to state my own sexual orientation in a discussion you willingly joined.
Your phrases about me “demanding” and “stomping my feet” are not arguments. They are attempts to portray me as angry, childish and unreasonable without any evidence that I am behaving that way. Nothing I have written amounts to stamping my feet. It is simply easier to caricature someone’s tone than answer the substance of what they are saying, but the tactic rather backfires when the caricature is based on nothing.
The same applies to:
“But you sound like one of those men who think every woman in the deck is there for you and you can whine when they aren’t.”
That is an attempt to make me sound sexist and entitled, despite your knowing virtually nothing about me. I have never suggested that every woman in a dating deck should be interested in me. Obviously most will not be, for any number of reasons, just as I will not be interested in every woman shown to me. The issue is whether someone belongs in the category I asked the app to show me, not whether that person is personally attracted to me.
Your statement tells us far more about the prejudicial category into which you place men who disagree with you than it does about me. Treating a man’s disagreement as evidence that he is entitled, angry, unsafe or unable to respect women is a sexist generalisation. Calling it feminism does not stop it being misandry.
Nor is disagreement with a corporate policy evidence that someone cannot respect personal consent. Corporate rules and interpersonal boundaries are entirely different things. A person can challenge a platform’s rule while being completely scrupulous about another individual’s right to say no.
Finally, this is exactly the principle that Mumsnet posters have repeatedly defended in relation to lesbian dating sites: males should not be inserted into the feeds of lesbians seeking females. That argument is correct. But the principle does not suddenly reverse because the person seeking females is a heterosexual man.
A lesbian woman seeking females and a heterosexual man seeking females are both excluding males on the basis of sexual orientation. Men should not appear in a lesbian woman’s female dating feed, and men should not appear in a heterosexual man’s female dating feed. The sex of the person operating the filter changes. The principle does not.