DS’ school collecting money for Stonewall: how to respond?

[NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoByAgain]

Email from his secondary school today that they are holding an own clothes day fundraiser to collect money for the charity Stonewall.

I really don’t want to go in heavy handed because a) I think it’s more powerful to change things with calm explanations than ranting, and b) I am assuming it’s coming from a place of ignorance not prejudice and c) I don’t want to make things difficult for my DS… but please help me draft an email setting out why this is a wholly inappropriate “charity” for a school to support? With links to evidence if possible! TIA

You could point out that Stonewall have spent years giving incorrect advice that contravenes the law, in order to undermine women's rights.

Hmm, when our school do charities I don't want to support I tend to just not donate to that particular event.

If you want to raise it, perhaps point out that Stonewall are heavily involved in political lobbying, and as a school they are obliged to be politically neutral. Maybe for balance they could do the next event for LGB Alliance?

This may not help, but could indicate it isn't just you having some sort of personal opinion. Sex Matters has a list of Stonewall Champions which shows how many have withdrawn.

https://sex-matters.org/about-us/what-we-are-up-against/keeping-track-of-stonewall/

(As an aside, worrying to see how few NHS Trusts have not withdrawn.)

@IwantToRetire thanks for posting that. I’m in Hampshire so was very pleased to see that my local council, police and nhs trust have all withdrawn.

I don't know why a school would not pick a charity that every student's family would be happy to support? Like literacy, or food banks?

Ah dear. My work still on it. Eejits.

I think if you approach the school you first have to think about what you realistically want them to do. If correspondence has gone out to parents then it's probably too late to change anything. I'd imagine it's a pride month thing(?).

Dear [Headteacher / School Office],
I am writing about the planned own clothes day fundraiser for Stonewall.
I completely support the school taking a firm line against bullying, including homophobic bullying, and I would want every lesbian, gay or bisexual pupil to feel safe and respected at school. My concern is not with that aim.
My concern is that Stonewall is no longer a neutral anti-bullying or gay rights charity. It is a highly contested campaigning organisation, particularly in relation to gender identity, social transition of children, parental involvement, pronouns, single-sex spaces and the interpretation of equality law. These are live political and legal issues, and many parents reasonably disagree with Stonewall’s position.
For that reason, I do not think it is appropriate for the school to raise money for Stonewall in a way that appears to give the school’s endorsement to one side of a controversial debate. An own clothes day also puts pupils and families in a difficult position, because opting out is visible and can make a child feel singled out.
The Department for Education’s political impartiality guidance makes clear that schools must not promote partisan political views, and that charities and campaign groups can hold such views. Schools are expected to consider whether supporting or advertising a charity could inadvertently promote those views to pupils.
Could the school please reconsider the choice of charity and either:

1. choose a non-contentious local children’s or anti-bullying charity instead, or
2. if the intention is specifically to support lesbian, gay and bisexual people, consider a charity focused on sexual orientation rather than gender identity, such as LGB Alliance, which is a registered charity.

I would also be grateful if you could confirm what due diligence was carried out before Stonewall was selected, particularly in relation to political impartiality and parental concerns. Thank you for considering this. I am raising it in good faith and in the hope that the school can support all pupils without taking a partisan position on a contested political issue. Kind regards, [Name]

Much appreciated all. I will send an amalgamation of all of these posts and let you know if/ when I get a response not holding my breath on that tbh

I've just had a look at the Stonewall guidance for secondary schools, and there are significant errors, eg

Page 28 'refusing to accept someone's gender identity' is considered bullying, which ignores the fact that GC views are protected beliefs,

Page 35 and 36 - teachers will be breaching pupil confidentiality if they inform their parents that they are LGBT+, while the current guidance is that schools should inform parents, unless there is a risk to the child's safety.

This is from a quick read of just the secondary school guidance, but hopefully enough to make the Head realise that Stonewall are providing inaccurate information to schools, which could leave them open to legal challenges, and so are not an appropriate charity for the school to suppot.

I'm sure you'll be able to find some more detailed reviews of the various Stonewall documents on guidance to schools, but I was surprised that they had no mention at all of changing legal situation, it's still the world as they think it would be.

Good luck!

Presumably all parents got the email so isn't it up to them to decide if its appropriate to support? You seem to be attempting to take that right away from them.

'Appropriateness' can be very subjective & is probably why you aren't able to comprehend the value of supporting pro trans charities. All you are really doing here is attempting to impose conformity & suppress individuality under the well worn authoritarian guise of 'what about the children'.

But please by all means go full steam right ahead & wave that authoritarian freak flag proudly, its a community service after all for everyone to know exactly who & what they are dealing with in advance.

Not wanting the school to support a homophobic and misogynistic organisation is not authoritarian.

Your opinion on what qualifies as homophobic & misogynistic is just that…an opinion. Thank you for confirming my point about subjectivity.

@CoolforKats “Wave. the authoritarian. freak flag. proudly.

Love your post unreal use of words. Here is a mirror have a look in to it

Stonewall is essentially a Lobby Group. It is politically controversial at this point. Can't they find some dying donkeys to save and protect instead!?

wave that authoritarian freak flag proudly

When DARVO goes wrong...😂

It's so difficult for parents who have to think about their kids' best interests at school, too. I agree with what's been said about Stonewall, but it's not easy for the OP, and others in her situation.

So is climate change & many other charitable organisations. If you have to nit pick that wouldn't leave many that aren't.

Its upto parents to have a conversation with their child about the pros & cons. And that's ultimately how a lot of learning takes place that denying parents this opportunity prevents.

But I'm not the one imposing my opinion on other parents in the school here.

You are on fire at the moment! Well done!

Lots of parents were anti social justice charity raising even for poverty in Africa at my children's school because they either thought they were rife with corruption or indoctrinating 'woke' ideology. You simply can never please everyone when it comes to charity fund raising.

My own view is life is full of circumstances where we will be 'forced' to compromise our values for a trade off. Pretending this isn't part of life only in the instance when it comes to charities is hypocritical & inconsistent.

You could use the same argument for a school fundraiser on behalf of a particular political party. Some of the more extreme ones would make a nice discussion-and-learning point, wouldn't they? And parents can choose not to contribute, so no problem. Would you support that?

Well, as a theoretical debating point, maybe. But such a thing would surely be illegal, and would never happen.

Political parties aren't charities so no I wouldn't.

I personally encouraged my children to partake in all fund raising for charities at school not because I supported all of them but to instil an attitude of giving to the less fortunate or being communally responsible because that's ultimately what they get from these exercises. Turning charity into partisan political issues defeats the purpose.

Stonewall chose to elevate the demands of trans identifying men over the legal rights of women and lesbians. They chose to be partisan and in a way that has done damage. Being a charity doesn't excuse them from scrutiny.