You are saying though, that ‘cis gender’ is a term for women who are comfortable with the gender norms of their own sex. No woman with half a brain is comfortable with all the gender norms associated with being female, from femininity to stereotypical likes or dislikes or ways of behaving, nor are many men. I was a teenager decades ago, in my all girls school we were told that we should be proud of our sex, should do and be anything at all and not allow social norms to restrict us. Hence more than the average number of girls from my school going into stem.
No people really fit into a gender category, even trans identifying people who try extremely hard to do just that. My heterosexual male farmer friend who reads Vogue, my female friends who have short hair and have never worn makeup, my female friends who have jobs considered more normal for men. My mother who was a young woman in the fifties, when women were being encouraged back into more traditional roles, yet who (unlike my Dad) the one who could do electrical wiring and build walls.
We are all gender ‘non binary’ but we all have a sex, that most of us accept the reality of, even though we may not like the restrictions, or the abuse, imposed on us.
The idea that women who don’t identify as trans are somehow comfortable with the current gender norms for women is ridiculous and totally lacking in understanding of how women feel about how they are treated.
There are some sexed behaviours that I feel are probably innately evolved and instinctive to some degree rather than learnt socially, mostly around children and childbirth. In my experience I’ve observed that (with individual variation obvs) women tend to have a heightened awareness of danger regarding children, compared to men. Women can have a heightened awareness of danger in general, probably from greater vulnerability in terms of strength and pregnancy. Women are not just smaller men, we will have evolved slightly differently, just as all other animals have. These differences are not the same as personality traits such as liking feminine things. We are biologically slightly different and vulnerable to different diseases, and different presentations of disease. We are more than just humans with higher oestrogen levels and lower testosterone. A man who raises the former and lowers the latter is still not the same as a woman.
I have a teenage daughter and another at university. The younger was talking about a friend of hers who is calling herself non-binary. We had a chat about this. Daughter feels that using plural pronouns for her friend is the same as using a new name, if her friend had decided to change it. She feels she being kind. I feel the opposite. Mostly though, this just makes me feel really sad. The regression from my own teenage years, my female friends in dms and overcoats, with short hair. My male friends in full face of makeup. It seems obvious to me how regressive this trend is, how it has sprung up in the US and spread, just as women were making actual inroads into equality.
So to tell us women, many of whom have lived through these shifts, birthed and brought up children, that we are “cis” is offensive. Please stop doing it. It’s as offensive as telling me I must be non-binary or trans when I think it is all regressive nonsense. It also used to be a banned term on mumsnet I thought ?
I have also noticed a tendency for people to think this ideology is progressive, simply because it is fairly new. There is this idea that we always move in a linear way in terms of progress, and that was true for British women in terms of their rights, through the 20th century. So people expect this to another positive progression. You only have to look at other countries to see this isn’t true at all, that progress for women that took centuries can be undone in a couple of years.