Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why is sex the only protected characteristic that people want to, or are ‘allowed’ to, self identify into? by

260 replies

SingleSexMattersInCharity · 27/03/2026 22:45

This has been something that I mull over. Why is sex the only PC that society allows people to self id into with very little checks and balances? You can get your marker on your driving licence changed very easily.

disability: yes, I realise that people can self identify as disabled but if they want benefits associated with disability there is, quite frankly, a horrendous procedure to go through in order get benefits.

Age: if someone wanted to be older to get pension they wouldn’t be accepted or alternatively if they wanted to attend nursery but were 20 they would not be allowed. Think of the Scottish case of the man who pretended to be younger to be in high school again.

maternity: women who fake pregnancy are absolutely derided.

race: we all think of the obvious case of the women who faked being black but I’m also thinking about when you want to change your citizenship and the expensive, complicated and time consuming process you have to go through to achieve a change of citizenship.

Campaigners have fought for easy, cheap and dignified changes to “changing sex” (not possible as we know) but other PCs have very expensive, complicated and dehumanising process.

why is the PC of sex different?

OP posts:
confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:08

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:07

Why are you conflating people with DSDs and trans people?

I'm glad that you now agree that men should not be in womens prisons.

Edited

I never said they should be.
because you affect both sides when you apply blanket bans and make blanket statements and I find it to be a bit more nuanced than that.

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:11

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:08

I never said they should be.
because you affect both sides when you apply blanket bans and make blanket statements and I find it to be a bit more nuanced than that.

Do you agree that all men should be barred from womens prisons or not? What might be described as a blanket ban on men in womens prisons

Shedmistress · 28/03/2026 12:12

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 11:58

No but she had sex with someone who couldn’t consent. What do you call that?

Sexual assault. Obviously without knowing the detail it would only be rape if he had a penis and raped someone with it.

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:13

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:11

Do you agree that all men should be barred from womens prisons or not? What might be described as a blanket ban on men in womens prisons

Well let’s say someone has a dsd. They have no periods and xy chromosome but they in every other way are a woman - they have hormones, breasts, a vagina etc, they’ve lived as a woman then they hit puberty and they find out. Where do you put them? By saying this because of trans people you’ve impacted their rights too. Do you see what I’m saying?

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:14

Shedmistress · 28/03/2026 12:12

Sexual assault. Obviously without knowing the detail it would only be rape if he had a penis and raped someone with it.

In England. Other countries would call that statutory rape.
the law in your country isn’t always right. England has plenty of stupid laws. I can take issue with this one and not be anti women.
rape is having sex with someone without their consent. In my eyes, men or women can do it. I’m allowed to have a problem with this law. We can have a new thread if you like but I don’t want to derail this one

Shedmistress · 28/03/2026 12:17

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:14

In England. Other countries would call that statutory rape.
the law in your country isn’t always right. England has plenty of stupid laws. I can take issue with this one and not be anti women.
rape is having sex with someone without their consent. In my eyes, men or women can do it. I’m allowed to have a problem with this law. We can have a new thread if you like but I don’t want to derail this one

Saying that rapists could go into women's prisons is definitely anti-women.

Personally I prefer this definition of only people with penises who rape or assisting someone with a penis to rape being called rape because it is very clear what that is.

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:18

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:13

Well let’s say someone has a dsd. They have no periods and xy chromosome but they in every other way are a woman - they have hormones, breasts, a vagina etc, they’ve lived as a woman then they hit puberty and they find out. Where do you put them? By saying this because of trans people you’ve impacted their rights too. Do you see what I’m saying?

I would place them according to their sex.

Someone with CAIS would have XY chromosome and be assigned female and go to a womens prison.

If a person has a male DSD they would go to a male prison.

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:18

Shedmistress · 28/03/2026 12:17

Saying that rapists could go into women's prisons is definitely anti-women.

Personally I prefer this definition of only people with penises who rape or assisting someone with a penis to rape being called rape because it is very clear what that is.

Well in my book they could because in my book women are capable of rape and I think the us laws on statutory rape are protective and in victims interests.

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:20

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:18

I would place them according to their sex.

Someone with CAIS would have XY chromosome and be assigned female and go to a womens prison.

If a person has a male DSD they would go to a male prison.

But what if they’ve lived as a woman their entire life? What if they’ve had surgery? Are they trans? This is where this becomes problematic and I’d argue for nuance.
im really not anti women. I think this is a very complex argument, as I’ve said

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:22

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:20

But what if they’ve lived as a woman their entire life? What if they’ve had surgery? Are they trans? This is where this becomes problematic and I’d argue for nuance.
im really not anti women. I think this is a very complex argument, as I’ve said

Medical experts would determine their sex .

What has people with DSDs got to do with men who say they are women?

Bluebootsgreenboots · 28/03/2026 12:22

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:00

And third spaces to protect these people just isn’t an option?

We are short of prison places. So imagine the govt puts aside the resources to build new capacity. So far, so good.
The new prisons become third (mixed sex) spaces. Would they be opt in? In which case, some men would opt in, no women would. So you’d just have new men’s prisons (which are probably needed, but wouldn’t help overcrowding in women’s prisons.)
Or would they be for all people with DSDs, obligatory. I say obligatory as I can’t see why a woman with a DSD would want to be housed with men, or VV. Seems very anti inclusion. And forcing reluctant women to reside with men is exactly what we’re trying to avoid.
confused I think you’re confused by more than dating, you haven’t thought this through at all, just grabbed some slogans off the internet and are now testing them to their conclusion.

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:23

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:22

Medical experts would determine their sex .

What has people with DSDs got to do with men who say they are women?

Because these people would argue that gender dysphoria is as much of a medical condition as a dsd.
because if they can have nuance why can’t trans people? Why can’t a dr decide which prison someone who’s had surgery goes to?

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:24

Bluebootsgreenboots · 28/03/2026 12:22

We are short of prison places. So imagine the govt puts aside the resources to build new capacity. So far, so good.
The new prisons become third (mixed sex) spaces. Would they be opt in? In which case, some men would opt in, no women would. So you’d just have new men’s prisons (which are probably needed, but wouldn’t help overcrowding in women’s prisons.)
Or would they be for all people with DSDs, obligatory. I say obligatory as I can’t see why a woman with a DSD would want to be housed with men, or VV. Seems very anti inclusion. And forcing reluctant women to reside with men is exactly what we’re trying to avoid.
confused I think you’re confused by more than dating, you haven’t thought this through at all, just grabbed some slogans off the internet and are now testing them to their conclusion.

ive not come in pretending to be all knowing. I’ve come in with two very conflicting identities (queer and feminist) and I’m discussing with you to understand more.

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:26

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:23

Because these people would argue that gender dysphoria is as much of a medical condition as a dsd.
because if they can have nuance why can’t trans people? Why can’t a dr decide which prison someone who’s had surgery goes to?

Those people would be wrong. Someone with a congenital chromosomal condition is not the same as someone who identifies as trans.

We are told by TRAs that gender dysphoria is not necessary for someone to be trans.

Shedmistress · 28/03/2026 12:27

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:20

But what if they’ve lived as a woman their entire life? What if they’ve had surgery? Are they trans? This is where this becomes problematic and I’d argue for nuance.
im really not anti women. I think this is a very complex argument, as I’ve said

We have seen Trans Activists for the last decade argue this point.

Luckily the Olympic Committee has spent a whole 2 years on their research into the strength, reach, power advantages of male puberty and if you look at any male DSD olympian it is clear they are male and have larger bone structures etc.

If you care to read that, it sets out the position clearly and I'd use that as my basis but 99.99999% of the time, males will go to male prisons and be protected using the already set out common procedures to protect vulnerable male inmates in those prisons.

It is important to go through this, after witnessing the mass 'prison onset gender dysphoria' that has been undergone completely and utterly coincidentally and not stratigcally at all in every 'self Id get in front of the law' country on the planet.

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:30

Shedmistress · 28/03/2026 12:27

We have seen Trans Activists for the last decade argue this point.

Luckily the Olympic Committee has spent a whole 2 years on their research into the strength, reach, power advantages of male puberty and if you look at any male DSD olympian it is clear they are male and have larger bone structures etc.

If you care to read that, it sets out the position clearly and I'd use that as my basis but 99.99999% of the time, males will go to male prisons and be protected using the already set out common procedures to protect vulnerable male inmates in those prisons.

It is important to go through this, after witnessing the mass 'prison onset gender dysphoria' that has been undergone completely and utterly coincidentally and not stratigcally at all in every 'self Id get in front of the law' country on the planet.

Right but I’d argue competing in the olympics isn’t a basic human right like safety, and this is where I’m a bit confused with the prison thing.

please don’t lump me in with aggressive tras. I’m not here to do that, I’m here to discuss this with you. I know and love lots of trans people and I know and love lots of women who feel the same way as you, so I find this very complex

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:31

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:26

Those people would be wrong. Someone with a congenital chromosomal condition is not the same as someone who identifies as trans.

We are told by TRAs that gender dysphoria is not necessary for someone to be trans.

Really? What’s the argument there? I’ve never heard of gender dysphoria not being a thing for trans people?

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:33

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:31

Really? What’s the argument there? I’ve never heard of gender dysphoria not being a thing for trans people?

Edited

Maybe you should do a bit more research then

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:34

spannasaurus · 28/03/2026 12:33

Maybe you should do a bit more research then

Maybe I should but it’s hard if I don’t know what to google lol

GlasgowGal2014 · 28/03/2026 12:35

SingleSexMattersInCharity · 28/03/2026 11:50

I realise race is different to citizenship, I was thinking of the legal processes too. There are legal processes to identify as a different sex. There are legal processes to identify as parents (adoption). The closest I could get for race was the legal processes to identify as a citizen.

I got onto the legal processes because of the claims made about the process for legal sex identity change being expensive, lacking dignity, time consuming etc. Other legal processes are all of those.

But the legal processes around citizenship are completely seperate to race. I realise you probably haven't thought this through, but suggesting they are linked could be perceived as racist!

SingleSexMattersInCharity · 28/03/2026 12:35

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 11:24

I’m not defending rapists. I’m just saying I’m not going to put this person in a position where they can be raped. Solitary confinement is an option. Trans prisons are options. There’s not just women’s prisons.
i cannot condone the rape or sexual abuse of anyone no matter who they are or what they’ve done because that would make me as bad as them in my book. I want to make it clear I’m not defending rapists. He has no right to rape anyone but he also has the right to be not raped too. I can’t do him for something but then say it’s ok when I sanction it for you. Do you see what I’m saying? I’m not defending rapists. But I will defend anyone’s right not be raped, even if they have sexually abused someone else.
and my reasoning for this is it’s a slippery slope if we do. It has to be a blanket no on sexual abuse to protect women and girls.

Solitary confinement, especially over longer periods, is cruel and inhumane and I think against human rights.

OP posts:
theilltemperedamateur · 28/03/2026 12:40

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 11:52

Yes this is exactly what I’m saying.
i feel complete and utter revulsion at the criminals you mentioned hurting women in prisons but equally I don’t think they deserve to be raped. And it’s not because I think that morally or whatever - I think it’s just a slippery slope when you start condoning it in any circumstances and we need to protect women and girls

Edited
wizard of oz scarecrow GIF

it’s just a slippery slope when you start condoning it

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:43

theilltemperedamateur · 28/03/2026 12:40

it’s just a slippery slope when you start condoning it

Bit rude and hypocritical to be calling someone stupid when you can’t even use your words. But ok. Whatever.

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:44

SingleSexMattersInCharity · 28/03/2026 12:35

Solitary confinement, especially over longer periods, is cruel and inhumane and I think against human rights.

Yes it is. And so you see why it becomes a problem when you go nope into men’s prison you go and the person is screaming ‘but I’m not safe here!’ and you have to think about their human rights too.
ethics isn’t easy hey?

theilltemperedamateur · 28/03/2026 12:45

confusedbydating · 28/03/2026 12:43

Bit rude and hypocritical to be calling someone stupid when you can’t even use your words. But ok. Whatever.

I'm not calling you stupid, just posting a gif of a straw man