The Bluestocking Women’s Pub: Where Clever Women Sit and Think, While Gerbils Run the Bar.

[MyrtleLion]

Come in. Yes, you’re in the right place. No, you don’t need to explain yourself.

Coats will be drycleaned before you depart. Bags won't be stolen because Gubbins will play her triangle. And you really don't want to hear it.

The gerbils run the bar.
They are small, brisk, and unionised.
One is polishing a glass with unnecessary seriousness.
Another is keeping the tab and will remember what you ordered last time.
There is a triangle involved. No one knows why. It keeps Gubbins happy.

Sit. Think. Drink. Join in.

The gerbils have it from here.

Previous thread...
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5481554-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-definitely-full-of-ludicrous-halfwits-who-refuse-to-get-a-grip-with-unionised-gerbils

Sadly the only access to the garden is by a small narrow path with a right angled turn into the garden itself. He has had to hand dig everything because he can't get a digger round the corner.

Here is the patio after jetwashing.

I'm back home after the weekend of being The Good Ones looking after MIL and doing DIY repairs, food prep, that sort of thing. I've had a physio session and am generally glowing smugly about all the virtuous stuff the last four days has involved.

Could the gerbils fetch me a fancy hot chocolate and maybe a biscuit? I feel like putting my feet up for a bit and just relaxing for a bit.

Likewise.
Would also out myself in RL. One of my ILs would be at the front of my personal queue.

And 'I've got a theory that.... many people are very short on the capacity for independent thought, and are liable to parrot whatever makes them feel best about themselves.'

But then, I am well en route to being a stroppy old mare.

@MarieDeGournay I'm very sorry to hear about your ankle. You're always very kind to Bluestockingers in various states of stress, so lots of us will turn out for you in time of need.

@EdithStourton Just realised that I made an "agree" reaction to your post. I meant I feel the same, not that you are a stroppy old mare 😁

@MarieDeGournay I hear the nursing gerbils are laying in stocks of bandages etc. ready for your recovery, if you need an operation. They did a very good job on Myrtle's paw, so I'm sure you will be in good hands.

Gubbins is also rehearsing a soothing song, with triangle accompaniment😬

Oh, but I AM a stroppy old mare - just ask the (adult) DC!

Just going back a few posts, the version of the nun joke I know is they were walking through a park and one is suddenly menaced by a vampire 🧛‍♂️, she cries to the other nun, 'Quick! Show him you're cross'. The other nun shouts 'Fuck off you toothy bastard!'

I may be repeating some of these. Apologies if so.

What's green and could kill if it fell on you from a tree? A pool table.

What breed of dog is kept by a magician? A labracadabrador.

Yorkshire man went to the vets about his cat. The vet says 'Is it a tom?' The Yorkshire man replies, 'Nay! I brought it with me.'

What comes steaming out of cows? The Isle of Wight ferry.

I got a book about OCD. Couldn't put it down.

What do you call a filing cabinet full of Mancunians? Sorted!

What do you call a speaker full of Mancunians? Sound!

The Mexican magician went 'Uno, dos...' then vanished without a tres.

I may be back with more.

I don't get the Yorkshire cat?

I've had a day. In fact, I've had a week (yes, I know it's only Tuesday), a month, and a year so far. Almost all work-related.

Bar gerbil, I'll have a hot chocolate bowser and a very large plate of cheese and crackers please, with proper salted butter and some nice grapes so I can pretend I'm eating a healthy diet.

‘Is it a Tom?’ sounds like ‘is it at home?’ in a Yorkshire accent, @Magpiecomplex.

I would like a plate of cheese and biscuits too, please, bar gerbil - with cold, salted butter and sable grapes. I need a snack, whilst I’m watching all the wintery sportiness in Italy - it’s hard work, watching all that effort. I should be knitting - I’m trying to finish a baby shawl to donate to the next Woolly Hugs craft sale, but the last posting date is the end of the month, and I am not going to make it - I’m so knackered all the time that I can’t do too much knitting at a go. Apologies for the whinge.

That's going to be a nice looking patio when it's all done! Looks like the installers of the decking had been watching too much Ground Force.

"I have a theory" always reminds me of one of my long-time role models, Mr Olson from Police Squad
‘You have to admire the simplicity of design.’ 🤣 #comedy #shorts - YouTube

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I’m trying to finish a baby shawl to donate to the next Woolly Hugs craft sale, but the last posting date is the end of the month, and I am not going to make it

That's one of the many wonderful things about Woolly Hugs. You probably know this already but, just spreading the word, if it's not suitable for one project it could be right for another. If it's in machine washable and dryable then it could be a Little Hug. If not, then there's another Craft Sale later in the year.

(I'm about to order some acrylic yarn for a single bed sized Little Hug. I don't need yarn, but it's so pretty) (Well, yes, I am buying enough for more than one blanket.)(Not telling how many, but in different colours, the reviews on Ravelry are good and it's an excellent price.)

Very good!

That tangentially reminds me of this one:
Little Susie ran inside from playing with her friend and demanded “Mummy, where did I come from?”. Mummy takes a deep breath and begins her mentally rehearsed lesson: “Ah Susie, daddy and mummy love each other very much and ….” - you know how it goes.
When her mother eventually finished her explanation, Susie looked puzzled. “Well…that was quite interesting mummy but where did I come from? Because Emily says she comes from Colchester*”.

*name of town not important.

My dad only had one joke, garnered from his during-the-war military career.

A posh officer walked into a room where a sergeant major was teaching some new recruits about appropriate building materials to use during essential construction.
"Nah then," he said. "There's three types of wood we use to make piles for piers - the hoak, the hash and the helm."
The officer interrupts and says "Excuse me sergeant major, but do you not mean the oak, the ash and the elm."
"Nah sir," says the sergeant major. "When I sez the hoak the hash and the helm I means the hoak the hash and the helm, and when I sez piles for piers I don't mean 'emerroids for bleedin' haristocrats."

😀😂😂

You are absolutely right, @AsWithGlad - thank you.

And you do need the yarn - every knitter always needs more yarn.

I'm watching "Sailing the Shipping Forecast" at the moment. He's just been holding a gorgeously fuzzy Manx shearwater chick. So cute!
I'm a serious minded scientist, of course, but...

If he's hand digging, we may to be inventive...

Pissed with rain here this evening. The vast puddles, which had shrunk a bit, have gone back to being vast. And it really helps to know which of them contain lethal potholes.

My husband's one was the sergeant getting the recruits into a room for a lecture from the peripatetic education offfcer.

"Now, the officer here is going to speak to you lot about Keats...and I'm betting that none of you stupid bastards knows what a keat is!"

Yes that sounds like my dad’s kind of joke too :-)

I'm leaving for the hospital to have my surgery today. Hopefully I won't have to stay in.

Yorkshire aerobics class; 'now ladies, hands ont thighs'

🙈🙈🙈🙈*

*but Yorkshire ladies not monkeys.

Thinking of you, Cake. Hope it all goes smoothly.

I hope it goes well, Cake. Fingers crossed that you're home this evening.

Hoping everything goes well for you today Cake.