How is the trans issue ever going to be resolved?

[PassportPanicFuuuck]

It seems as insoluble as the Israel/Palestine question when the two "sides" want directly opposing things. I've heard the arguments that trans people "just want to pee" and that "no-one would go through medical/surgical gender reassignment purely to abuse women", plus the mantras that "trans people exist", "trans rights are human rights" and "trans women are women" and it's quite clear that the people who believe these things fervently aren't going to change their minds any time soon.

But to a certain extent, life isn't fair. Not everyone does have equal opportunities. If you're in a gay relationship (and there's nothing wrong with that) you can't have a biological child with your partner; if you're infertile (as I am) you can't have a child at all; if you're trans (and there's nothing wrong with that either) you can't enter the spaces of the opposite sex; if you're British you don't have an automatic right to go and live in the US; if you're short and unsporty you don't have a right to be on the Olympic basketball team - and so on. All sorts of opportunities are denied people at various different points, some as a result of decisions you make (like not studying for a medical degree means I can never be a doctor) and some not (see above re. infertility), and beyond universal human rights you don't have a right - one might say "entitlement" - to an awful lot of things, much as you might keenly want them.

Like it or not, once we end up in these categories we have to accept it. Absolutely no-one is eligible to do everything or to go everywhere. However if you have made a choice - even if you consider it to be more a recognition of something innate rather than a conscious decision - it doesn't mean that you have made this choice on behalf of everyone else. If you have chosen to transition (again, you may not consider it to be a "choice") you can't dictate that everyone else ignore biology and logic and linguistic authenticity and you can't dictate that everyone else will want to celebrate your decision. No, we don't have to accept the "lady bulge", we don't have to accept child abuse under the guise of gender-affirming care and we don't have to accept men in female sports / changing rooms / organisations.

Not sure how coherently worded all the above is, but perhaps it will provoke some interesting debate.

That's very challenging; nobody should be bullied for any reason, and least of all for mental health issues.

It doesn't change the reality that children are harmed by being "affirmed". In time, this will all become clear.

In the mean time, ask yourself if 'trans' is innate, what are the odds that two trans children would appear in your family?

How does anyone ‘get bullied by transphobia’?

Do you mean people bully them?

in my case I’ve bullied by men pretending they are women.

I meant to writeI have been bullied by men pretending to be women in a women’s toilet.

Or one of the many bad faith scolders.

They're second cousins. I went to tell my aunt she had a trans great-nephew, and discovered she already had a trans grandson.

There was zero contact between them until I found this out. I'm a bit adjacent to that side of the family due to divorce, lovely as they all are.

Being trans is a personal experience, and one I can't explain because I'm not trans . Reciting weird conspiracy theories about an entire minority is a choice - and, it increasingly seems, a lifestyle.

Parents don't want their kids to be trans, it's too horrible to contemplate how much pain they will go through in a transphobic society. We want their lives to be easier.

You say 'affirming', I say 'rejecting your kid on the basis of who they are is abuse, it's our job to love and protect them'. Potato, potatto.

Lol pull the other one! Being trans is the 'in' thing right now. They are the highest most powerful, most protected, most celebrated Sacred Caste in society. They have everyone from government, education, NHS, NGOs and society lauding and celebrating them. Even at the expense of RAPE AND TRAUMA VICTIMS. There is a reason celebs are coming out with not one but two 'trans children'. They're an accessory for parents to get attention. Never has a group been so protected. So stop claiming they are victims, instead of the celebrated 'in' thing.

Even if you believe in a 'gendered soul' being born in the 'wrong body', you must understand that womens hard won sex-based rights must not be sacrificed either.

Riight.

Try walking the street as a visibly trans person. Or even better, into school as someone who's just come out as trans. Hi on a school bus as a trans child.

Watch how many people worship you. Wait for the applause.

Interesting world you live in. Sounds nicer than reality, where virtually every trans kid has considered suicide due to extreme bullying, trans people struggle to get work and all of them live in constant fear of violence.

Caste?! Lol.

Seek help darling.

I'm an abuse survivor. Lots of trans people are rape survivors too.

I'm sorry for your suffering, but you don't get to weaponise it. Making ignorant, transphobic comments about an entire minority is not advocating for survivors.

I truly hope you get help. Being paranoid about trans people will not ease your trauma.

And fine, deny who I am. But I'm a mum who's seen the effects of transphobic hate. I've lived it. Stayed awake at night listening for sounds of movement. Attended A&E with a bleeding, distressed child terrified of attending school.

Anti-trans hatred has killed a lot of young people, and those that survived have literal scars. Denying that is simply justification for hatred.

Please talk to someone about your pain. This isn't helping you.

Night.

I'm sorry for your suffering, but you don't get to weaponise it.

Um....

Firstly, please learn how to quote who you are replying to in your posts.

Secondly, I am explaining why females need single sex spaces. Accusing a trauma victim who needs single sex change rooms of 'weaponising' is as low as you can go. If you were an abuse survivor, It would never even enter your mind to say that.

Stayed awake at night listening for sounds of movement. Attended A&E with a bleeding, distressed child terrified of attending school.

You don't get to weaponise children's confusion to remove womens sex-based rights away from us. Please stop weaponising an innocent child's confusion to push your hateful anti-woman agenda. It won't work.

This is about FULLY INTACT MALES. Not 'trans' people. It's not 'paranoid' to fear the male sex. Over the centuries women and girls have plenty of reason to fear the male sex. That doesn't need help understanding. But you need help to learn not to weaponise children's confusion to strip womens hard won rights away.

It may be worth pointing out that poster took exactly 42 minutes and what, four posts, before she felt able to tell someone else they need "help".

She clearly has a lot of displaced anger and probably guilt about her child, and what she's done to him or her, and came on here to pick a fight.

@RedToothBrush than you for being so honest. I’ll be having a conversation with my gp about overactive bladder. I didn’t know. Thank you.

That’s nice dear. There is still no such thing as a trans child. There are children who need mental health help but it’s going to be a lot worse when they grow up and realise the adults who were supposed to love them lied to them and allowed them to make choices they didn’t know the ramifications of. I pity those children.

There is no one so vehemently Trans Ideology than a transhausen parent. They cannot allow their conscience to break through, they must keep the pretence up. Otherwise the reality of what they've done to the child will destroy them.

I was thinking more it was that divvy who claimed her child told her he was trans before he could speak by waving at pictures of women. That was a wild thread. I think these parents are now so deeply entrenched in the ideology because anything else would make them realise just what they have done to their children.

False dichotomy. There are other options besides affirming and rejecting.

Were these kids happy and integrated at school before they revealed their transness, or had they always had social problems?

And/or autistic?

Who knows? But there's always more to the story.

In any case, someone wanted a middle-of-the-night online fight. I hope she got what she was looking for.

I am a rape and SA survivor.

I’ve been told before in here I’m weaponising my trauma.

it’s nice to see the same old insults being thrown out.

I have various Legal rights. Some sex based and some based in me being a GC woman. And some based on the fact that certain actions are considered a offence. Those rights are protected in law. Everyone needs to obey the law.

its that simple for me.

Even if all of this is true, which it may well be, transwomen are still men, and transmen are still women. I hope they do get to live happy, fulfilled lives full of love and joy. No one deserves to be bullied or oppressed for circumstances outside their control. But when it comes to single sex spaces, they still need to stay in their lane. That doesn't seem like such a big ask, honestly.

Yes, they do. I'm, again, sorry for what happened to you. And I'll repeat that I am also an abuse survivor.

I know exactly what the trauma of rape and abuse is like. But I don't feel that attacking a minority with ignorant statements will.solve that.

Throwing this frankly bewildering hate at me won't help you.

You're acting as though I'm pro-rape. I'm actually a cis woman who supports survivors, and the mum of a trans child.

I sincerely hope you get help, because this anger directed towards me is horrible. I worry for the effect it has on you, because it's certainly very shaking to read.

Parents of trans kids just want them to be safe, happy and live normal lives. Being trans is a tiny part of who my child is - and it's as much part of him as his hair colour and the length of his (considerable) eyebrows.

Oh and whoever said I needed to learn to post correctly - entirely right! I'm new to this. Was here years back but called in.

People are not conspiracies, and trans people are completely normal.

I’m permanently doped go on anti social meds and I can’t enjoy my life because I was violently raped.

im really glad to have women’s single sex spaces to discuss the trauma that that rape left me with.

(because my counselling isn’t behind a locked door so wouldn’t be a WSSS as per @TransParentlyAnnoyed).

What do you mean you were here years back but called in?