The Bluestocking - Raiders of the Lost Sparp

[lcakethereforeIam]

Welcome everyone. Wipe your feet, it's been wet out.

Don't forget to namechange before posting if necessary.

I would love that! I'm sure it would help us all focus on the awe and wonder of God!

<teaset envy>
I did smuggled a couple of Battenburgs into a cupboard. I can let you have one...

<Shoves everyone out of the way whilst giving a hard stare to anyone even thinking of taking up Edith's generous offer>

<Opens Edith's cupboard.>

<Looks at cake >

23 battenburgs! You have 23!

Admit it! You are actually Maud aren't you?

Boily, you are counting each square section as an individual cake. There are only, er, 5 and 3/4 Battenburgs in there.

<whispers>
You can have two if you shut up!

I may need to start a campaign for "exciting hosts" in the church.

There we are, partaking of the real or symbolic ( depending on your persuasion) body of Christ, and it's a bit of dry rice paper that sticks to your clack.

Now, if it was a piece of battenburg, or frangipane, or a meringue, for example, I think that would be a whole lot more fitting.

( I shan't be putting this thought on the Christian MN board!)

Glad you're home, Britinme, and being fed nourishing soups
I'm glad so many of you liked my 'Calais' on the lamb's heart joke - full disclosure: I had to google it cos I knew it was one of those northern French coastal towns but I couldn't remember which one😟
Just as well I wasn't Q. Mary's heart-engraver:

'Calais! I clearly said Calais! Not Boulogne-sur-Mer..'
'But Calais is so short - Boulogne-sur-Mer demonstrates that Your Majesty has such a big heart..'
[nice try that; wouldn't work though]

That's giving me Should've gone to Specsavers vibes - I love the ad where the guy in the Ant/Arctic radios for them to send him supplies and they hear it as 'Surprise!' and send a clown😃

Oh sorry @EdithStourton I should have put my glasses on. You are correct there is only 5 and 3/4 cakes.

And I'm only taking two of them.

That's a very nice furry onsie you are wearing today by the way. Makes you look just like Maud.

I think they should stick popping candy on the underside of some of the wafers and randomly give them out during the body of christ bit.

But those that didn't get popping candy would complain!

Well, i would.

Those Battenbergs are weird, Boily - halves instead of quarters of the two colours. Something not quite right going on there. I think they should be called Mountbattens..

I don't think this would go down too well with the trans crowd - the transubstantialists😄

We didn’t have wafers in my nonconformist church, it was just thick sliced white bread cut into ~1cm cubes. The ‘wine’ was very sweet grape juice.

In other news, I have just found that my facial serum is running out - just, as in, the last drops haven't even been completely absorbed by my skin. Obviously I haven't had time to Google for offers on serum yet.

BUT suddenly my screen has ads for serum instead of household products and whatnot! The bloody internet can read my mind!

I vaguely remember some bishop in Austria who used foccaccia, but that's Austria for you.

At Mormon services they use ordinary white bread, and water, not even grape juice. Although the new prophet Dallin Oaks is relatively high church by Mormon standards, and recommends home baked bread rather than something you just picked up at Walmart.

I am not a lover of marzipan. I am a lover of Marmite. I remember making roasted lamb hearts in garlic a few times; not done that for years. Very tasty.

We have proper bread and nice wine at Sunday communion. Midweek service gives us a wafer and what can only be described as vinegar.

I've never taken communion. I'm just thinking of all the stories of the communion wine being stolen and regretting that there weren't flying saucers involved too.

The gerbils make a lovely sourdough. Although the starter is getting out of hand. It might need an annexe.

Vinegar would be interesting with flying saucers!

Exploding communicants!

Dallin Oaks sounds as if he might be related to Balin and Dwalin.
I'm mentally struggling with the image of those two in smarts suits pounding the streets of English market towns trying to convert the heathen.

We get nice sweet wine at communion. I could cheerfully glug a lot more than I am ever permitted.

Meanwhile, I strongly deny being a gerbil. I identify as a hare.

Sadly the cardboard stapled to the lamb's heart didn't say anything. Dissection notes would have been useful! I am ashamed to say I didn't get @MarieDeGournay's Calais joke at first - and the Tudor period is my favourite historical period, so I hang my head in shame.

Dh is currently having a falling-out with Sainsbury's - they keep randomly cocking up taking payment for the weekly shop - it goes fine for several weeks, and then fails one Saturday, so he has to phone them and make the payment, usually while he is out with the dogs. He has instructed me to do the weekly shop at Waitrose for the next couple of weeks, so I am having great fun with all the posh nosh. I am hoping that, if the shopping doesn't end up costing more than Sainsbury's, I may be allowed to carry on - but this is pretty unlikely, so I am making the best of this opportunity!

We have proper bread, nice seeded stuff. I always have a good chunk. But fake, not good wine. Disappointing.

I quite like Oaks. He's remarkably jovial for an ex-judge.

Utah has got quite the reputation for parents giving their DC strange names. There are quite a few boys and young men called Dallin, and they're all named after this one guy, and he got his unusual first name after the Utah-born sculptor Cyrus Dallin, because his mother was the model for a memorial to pioneer women created by Cyrus Dallin and unveiled in 1932, right about when Oaks was born.

Interesting to see a real-life case of a first name getting started.

I remember wanting to once but being told I was too young. But my church going memories from childhood are very scrambled as some of the family was protestants and some catholic and honestly I'd struggle to tell you which church service was which as we were very much the black sheep atheists who only went to church when staying with relatives during school holidays!

Does it happen on occasions where the substituted items are considerably more than the original item? As it used to regularly do it to me if there more than around £10 difference in the original cost and the new cost.

If not then I am of no help.