Teacher asked DD how she IDs

[S1894PCohen]

My DD is a tomboy - short hair and trousers all the way - but has always been very clear that she's a girl. While I respect how other people want to live their lives and their right to believe whatever bollocks they like, I don't do gender ideology and neither does she.
Ever since she's started secondary school, she's been asked by other kids if she's trans. It boils my piss and I've contacted the school about it but she tends to just tell people she's a girl and shrugs it off as she doesn't want to make a fuss.
However this week she was mistaken for a boy by a teacher. When she and her pals told her she was, in fact, a girl, the teacher took her aside at the end of the class and asked "how she identified" and if she'd "ever identified as anything other than a girl". DD says this teacher flies a pink and blue flag above her desk...
I am livid - it's bad enough DD gets this shit from other kids, let alone a teacher. I've no doubt the teacher thinks she's "being kind" but I feel her behaviour is steeped in reactionary gender stereotypes. I'm minded to complain - WWYD?

I'd let it be water off a ducks back. Teachers are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If it's a repeated comment then yes complain, but otherwise I'd consider the matter closed.

That just shows how reductive and rigid gender identity bollocks is. Girl with short hair must be a boy. Girls that play rugby must be gay or trans. Boys with long hair must be a girl.

We just filled out sixth form applications - the amount of pronoun and identity questions was just unbearable. Especially at the specialist Maths schools. My poor child didn't know whether to lean into it in the hopes of increasing the chances of getting a place to be honest.

I feel that once teacher had been told DD is a girl, it should have been left there.

If she actually has a trans flag in the classroom definitely complain.

The trans flag is

1. Not neutral, whether it means to be or not it's now a political opinion that goes hand in hand with restricting single sex spaces so represents misogyny
2. Likely Irrelevant to the subject they teach
3. Could be seen as encouraging conversations from gender questioning kids. If a kid wants to ask to a teacher about their own gender identity they should speak to an informed adult who is on the safeguarding team and understands how to support without indoctrination/ bias promoting on an ideology (and I include gender criticalness in that despite being a huge TERF, as I think kids need neutral, factual information and to make their own decisions)

Hmmm but surely being told once that DD is a girl should be enough? Why mither on about gender ID? Very intrusive.

Nonsense. This is an activist teacher trying to impose a regressive, sexist, homophobic ideology on a pupil.

I would complain, OP.

I'd complain to the school about this teacher, her flag and the inappropriate questioning of your dd. That teacher has no right to foist her ideology on her students and whilst it maybe water off your dds back the next child might not be so strong to ignore the pressure

DD was actually mortified. She shrugs off other kids' nonsense but it's different coming from a teacher. It was said in front of another kid too!

Oh that's so much worse I'm sorry that your dd had to go through that definitely complain as that's so inappropriate

It is intrusive and inappropriate given that she had already said she was a girl.

It's not something I would let slide and written complaint would be on the way.

It should be made very clear to that teacher that she can be as conformist as she likes if it makes her happy, but that your daughter is an independent-minded young woman who is not prepared to be boxed-in by archaic and harmful stereotypes.

Perhaps the teacher was erring on the side of caution given that people have found themselves in all sorts of shit "misgendering"

I agree. No ideology should be touted in schools. And genderism is a harmful ideology, from gaslighting children to abolishing women’s single-sex spaces to letting male sex fetishists give intimate ‘care’ to elderly women.

My DD is a tomboy - short hair and trousers all the way - but has always been very clear that she's a girl.

What do you mean by “has always been very clear that she's a girl”?

Other than being a biological female what does she do to make it clear?

She exists as a female human being. What does she need to do to make it clear, why does she need to do anything? She is a girl because she was born female, the assumption should therefore always be that she ‘identifies’ as a girl.

Long past time for the grown ups to kick to bullshit that’s “misgendering” into touch.

OK, but she'd already "misgendered" DD by calling her a boy and she'd been put right. It should have been left there.
She's not the first teacher to have mistaken DD for a boy but she is the first to have subjected her to further questioning about her gender ID instead of just accepting she got it wrong.

That’s my point. The OP said

but has always been very clear that she's a girl.

I want to know what she means by that. Surely biology is enough 🤔

It would be if she wasn't living in a world that also houses fuckwits like the teacher mentioned in the OP.

This! Not a teacher but I did mistake someones 13yo DS as a girl last weekend, probably due to the long hair and not getting a great view. She (mum) just politely said he not she and that was that.

Well said!

Oh for God's sake really? Where are you going with this?

Well yeah if your DD was embarrassed by it I’d complain. Ridiculous nonsense to question her like that just for not looking sufficiently “girly”.

I mean that she's never been sucked into any genderwoo.

She just likes having short hair and wearing trousers - which has always been, and will always be, fine by me.

I’m not interested in hearing your gender wooo sweetheart