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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Charity rejects disabled child for mother's GC views

592 replies

PaddingtonSwear · 31/08/2025 08:22

Archive link here: https://archive.ph/zGGCc

Pretty shocking but it seems they think they're right.

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PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 31/08/2025 08:24

So another 'inclusive we respect everyone but you' charity.

ArabellaScott · 31/08/2025 08:32

So these residential camps for children, how are the facilities arranged for children claiming to be the opposite sex? Sleeping, changing, washing, etc?

BundleBoogie · 31/08/2025 08:51

And I presume this charity thinks they are in the right and not perpetuating the indoctrination of children into gender ideology.

It would interest to see their safeguarding policy.

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 08:58

The article may be biased, but she does come across as a general nightmare so I have sympathy for the charity here. Asking how disabled children like to be referred to is not particularly outrageous and part of respecting their rights to self-expression, something that can be really hard for those children who need constant care. This didn’t seem to be about any concern for safety, no questions about rooms or changing or carers ect.

Shortshriftandlethal · 31/08/2025 09:02

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 08:58

The article may be biased, but she does come across as a general nightmare so I have sympathy for the charity here. Asking how disabled children like to be referred to is not particularly outrageous and part of respecting their rights to self-expression, something that can be really hard for those children who need constant care. This didn’t seem to be about any concern for safety, no questions about rooms or changing or carers ect.

In what way does she come across as a nightmare? Can you explain?

All I see is her expressing understandable exasperation at being asked for the pronouns of a child, and then being told that there was a trans child in the camp? If that was me, I'd also be seriously concerned about all sorts of intimate arrangments and and about what the children were being taught?

This utter nonsense has to be challenged.

guinnessguzzler · 31/08/2025 09:12

This is awful, truly awful. It is so sad to see just how badly this nonsense has spread, and it wreaks havoc everywhere it goes.

It sounds like the charity handled it really badly and just hadn't thought it through properly at all. And although the Mum was (understandably) angry, it sounds very much like she was explaining that her child may well not be able to go along with 'preferred pronouns', I don't think she was suggesting she was going to deliberately 'misgender' the 'trans' child in question. I'm amazed that it was all decided on the basis of that phone call, rather than giving her a chance to cool off and see if they could have a further conversation about it. I would have expected the Chief Exec to at least pick up the phone and try to resolve. I know he did send a letter but that was after the decision had been made.

This nonsense is harming so many, including many of its supporters, all these poor kids where trauma of one kind or another is clearly a major factor. It makes me so cross.

Theswiveleyeballsinthesky · 31/08/2025 09:18

https://www.otw.org.uk/safeguarding-statement/

colour me shocked they say gender instead of sex

Also children from the ages of 8-17 is a rather wide age range isnt it? I was wondering how many 8 year olds had preferred pronouns but as theyre going all the way to 17.

referral criteria https://secure.jotformpro.com/42643514508958

why does it seem that as usual they just haven't thought any of this through and just signed up to the while trans ideology without any real thinking of real life impact?

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:22

Yes, I’d be concerned about intimate arrangements and would ask questions about those. But the article has no mention of that. It says that “She made it clear that if her child sees a girl, he should refer to her as a girl.” (My emphasis). That’s far beyond a concern for her or her son’s safety and decency, that’s intentionally looking to be confrontational. As is writing “seriously” on the application rather than just leaving blank.

People have the right to believe any nonsense if they want, as long as it doesn’t impact the rights of others. Whether that’s ley lines or gods or witchcraft or homeopathy or that you can change gender I don’t care. Unless the context demands otherwise (eg in court or when defending women’s rights) then referring to people by the name / address they choose is just basic decency.

Ihavetoask · 31/08/2025 09:25

Yeah she sounds a problem. Whatever your views, there is a time and place to express them, the way she went about it was all wrong. I'd have just left the pronouns bit blank. Now she fucked over her kid all because she just couldn't hold back from ranting about her opinions.

She shouldn't tell her kid that if "he sees" a girl, then he should insist it is a girl. He is a child and might be wrong. He might "see" a girl because a boy has long hair and then refuse to acknowledge his gender because mummy said girls look a certain way.

Chersfrozenface · 31/08/2025 09:26

From the safeguarding statement:
"Specifically, we want to ensure that no-one who would benefit misses out on the opportunity because they can’t recognise a place for themselves at an OTW camp."

Well, they've failed there, haven't they?

Is there any reference to sex or gender as regards accommodation?

There is none that I can find as regards intimate personal care, just the "rule of 3", that no adult should be only with a child.

Theswiveleyeballsinthesky · 31/08/2025 09:26

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:22

Yes, I’d be concerned about intimate arrangements and would ask questions about those. But the article has no mention of that. It says that “She made it clear that if her child sees a girl, he should refer to her as a girl.” (My emphasis). That’s far beyond a concern for her or her son’s safety and decency, that’s intentionally looking to be confrontational. As is writing “seriously” on the application rather than just leaving blank.

People have the right to believe any nonsense if they want, as long as it doesn’t impact the rights of others. Whether that’s ley lines or gods or witchcraft or homeopathy or that you can change gender I don’t care. Unless the context demands otherwise (eg in court or when defending women’s rights) then referring to people by the name / address they choose is just basic decency.

there is no such thing as a trans child! No child is born in the wrong body and a disability charity going along with the idea that they are is bloody awful frankly. Are all the children with disabilities born in wrong bodies too or only the ones that on top of all their other challenges believe they're the wrong sex

coercing children into denying reality to sure up someone else's delusions is just plain wrong

AnSolas · 31/08/2025 09:27

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 08:58

The article may be biased, but she does come across as a general nightmare so I have sympathy for the charity here. Asking how disabled children like to be referred to is not particularly outrageous and part of respecting their rights to self-expression, something that can be really hard for those children who need constant care. This didn’t seem to be about any concern for safety, no questions about rooms or changing or carers ect.

“I attempted to explain that as a charity, we value diversity and inclusion, and our primary focus is to ensure that every child feels safe and respected at camp, regardless of their gender identity.

Why is her child obliged to lie to make another child "feel safe and respected"

Why should the mother have to ask if her child would be expected to share changing rooms etc with a member of the other sex?

They rejected the child and offered the child a spot without the mother. That said they rejected her right to advocate on behalf of her child and favoured the genderist parents.

They were actually unable to produce a "inclusive" ethos of accepting that some people will have very different views.

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:31

Why is her child obliged to lie to make another child "feel safe and respected"

He doesn’t have to lie. She can just say “Sam prefers to be called she”. Nothing about that is a lie.

mamagogo1 · 31/08/2025 09:31

Sounds like it was the manner of the mother on the phone what was the main issue - they knew they had a trans child coming for goodness sake. Asking pronouns is not something I agree with really but there’s time to bring it up and times to keep your mouth closed, when someone is giving your kid a free holiday keep it closed

AnSolas · 31/08/2025 09:32

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:22

Yes, I’d be concerned about intimate arrangements and would ask questions about those. But the article has no mention of that. It says that “She made it clear that if her child sees a girl, he should refer to her as a girl.” (My emphasis). That’s far beyond a concern for her or her son’s safety and decency, that’s intentionally looking to be confrontational. As is writing “seriously” on the application rather than just leaving blank.

People have the right to believe any nonsense if they want, as long as it doesn’t impact the rights of others. Whether that’s ley lines or gods or witchcraft or homeopathy or that you can change gender I don’t care. Unless the context demands otherwise (eg in court or when defending women’s rights) then referring to people by the name / address they choose is just basic decency.

Pronouns are not names

She helped him undress.

What sex is "she"

What sex is "he"

Why would being able to correctly sex both people in that situation be important if one is a child?

AnSolas · 31/08/2025 09:34

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:31

Why is her child obliged to lie to make another child "feel safe and respected"

He doesn’t have to lie. She can just say “Sam prefers to be called she”. Nothing about that is a lie.

If Sam is male is what is the meaning of the word "she"?

mamagogo1 · 31/08/2025 09:35

And yes their absolutely are trans children, very rare pre puberty but we have (now adult) person in the family, as young as 3 was saying it and kids certainly hadn’t been indoctrinated into this ideology 23 years ago! Nothing “happened” until said person was 18 years old as should be the case other than switching to a gender neutral name at 16 but absolutely was expressing gender non conformity at preschool age

guinnessguzzler · 31/08/2025 09:36

Tbf I would agree that, on the basis of that phone call, it sounds like the Mum could be very challenging at times and there would need to be thought put in to ensuring the camp went well for everyone involved. But I think the charity should have given her a chance to cool off and then tried to have a conversation with her about how the camp would go, any concerns or expectations about relating to others on the camp and so on. I don't think it is a trauma informed approach to write someone off after one forthright / angry interaction. However, had follow up attempts made it clear that her participation in the camp was going to cause problems then they might have been OK in acting as they did. I don't think they can honestly say they did enough to try to include everyone in this instance.

Ihavetoask · 31/08/2025 09:36

AnSolas · 31/08/2025 09:27

“I attempted to explain that as a charity, we value diversity and inclusion, and our primary focus is to ensure that every child feels safe and respected at camp, regardless of their gender identity.

Why is her child obliged to lie to make another child "feel safe and respected"

Why should the mother have to ask if her child would be expected to share changing rooms etc with a member of the other sex?

They rejected the child and offered the child a spot without the mother. That said they rejected her right to advocate on behalf of her child and favoured the genderist parents.

They were actually unable to produce a "inclusive" ethos of accepting that some people will have very different views.

No firstly, she said that her child will be calling anyone they think looks like a girl, a girl, which is a problem. She's essentially telling her son that her views on sex and gender supersede anyone else's reality. So if I am a boy with long hair, her son will be calling me a girl if he associates long hair solely with females. He will be calling any girls with short hair and a liking for physical activity a boy.

Then, instead of not answering the question, she found it appropriate to voice her socio-political views on a form. This shows that her level of self control is so low that she cannot recognise where it is appropriate to voice her views, and when she just needs to fill out a form.

When you try and weaponise your child into being your little political parrot, it is highly unfair on them and can even become abusive.

AnSolas · 31/08/2025 09:37

Ihavetoask · 31/08/2025 09:25

Yeah she sounds a problem. Whatever your views, there is a time and place to express them, the way she went about it was all wrong. I'd have just left the pronouns bit blank. Now she fucked over her kid all because she just couldn't hold back from ranting about her opinions.

She shouldn't tell her kid that if "he sees" a girl, then he should insist it is a girl. He is a child and might be wrong. He might "see" a girl because a boy has long hair and then refuse to acknowledge his gender because mummy said girls look a certain way.

A woman ranting with no self control.

And a child unable to sex a human because of long hair.

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:38

Theswiveleyeballsinthesky · 31/08/2025 09:26

there is no such thing as a trans child! No child is born in the wrong body and a disability charity going along with the idea that they are is bloody awful frankly. Are all the children with disabilities born in wrong bodies too or only the ones that on top of all their other challenges believe they're the wrong sex

coercing children into denying reality to sure up someone else's delusions is just plain wrong

I’m not sure what in my post led you to think I believe any child is born in the wrong body, or that anyone should deny reality.

But a disabled child with mental health issues related to gender has enough problems, and being challenged on their name/appearance while on holiday is unlikely to help them. Calling people what they want to be called, and not picking fights about how someone chooses to dress is not pandering to delusions it’s just being polite. Doing so would not have negatively impacted her son in any meaningful way.

DiaAssolellat · 31/08/2025 09:39

Another your views don’t align with ours so we’re excluding you from our inclusive environment organisation.

Hopefully they’ll lose their charity status.

Theswiveleyeballsinthesky · 31/08/2025 09:39

We've arrived very quickly at 'she was right to have concerns but she expressed them in a non feminine ranty way therefore it's fine to punish her & her child' stage

Theswiveleyeballsinthesky · 31/08/2025 09:41

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:38

I’m not sure what in my post led you to think I believe any child is born in the wrong body, or that anyone should deny reality.

But a disabled child with mental health issues related to gender has enough problems, and being challenged on their name/appearance while on holiday is unlikely to help them. Calling people what they want to be called, and not picking fights about how someone chooses to dress is not pandering to delusions it’s just being polite. Doing so would not have negatively impacted her son in any meaningful way.

Doing so would not have negatively impacted her son in any meaningful way

telling a child they must lie is harming them

telling a child to deny the reality in front of them is harming them

telling a child someone else's feelings are more important than yours is harming them

SouthWamses · 31/08/2025 09:41

AirborneElephant · 31/08/2025 09:22

Yes, I’d be concerned about intimate arrangements and would ask questions about those. But the article has no mention of that. It says that “She made it clear that if her child sees a girl, he should refer to her as a girl.” (My emphasis). That’s far beyond a concern for her or her son’s safety and decency, that’s intentionally looking to be confrontational. As is writing “seriously” on the application rather than just leaving blank.

People have the right to believe any nonsense if they want, as long as it doesn’t impact the rights of others. Whether that’s ley lines or gods or witchcraft or homeopathy or that you can change gender I don’t care. Unless the context demands otherwise (eg in court or when defending women’s rights) then referring to people by the name / address they choose is just basic decency.

A disabled child should be taught to speak the truth about what they see and not be coerced to lie. Requiring vulnerable children to lie about someone’s sex is a big safeguarding fail.

It very definitely impacts on others if your beliefs require others to lie about your sex.

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