I blame JKRowling

[RedToothBrush]

For shrinking the size of Monster Munch and shrinkflation generally.

Also the existence of belly button fluff

What do you blame her for?

I've not got space for a dishwasher, even a slimline one, but does she care? Nope.

Me neither, unless the dishwasher had their own home.

Neither do I. I have space for a butler though, but she'll have to sleep in the shed

That reminds me, she has hidden my tape measure so I can't work out whether swapping my kitchen into another room would work. All her fault.

#sadtimes

VERY sad times.

She’s definitely responsible for me finishing my Apple TV watching and missing more entries on this thread.

No, I'm responsible for that one.

Oopsie.

I heard that she single-handedly adds all the pips to blackberries. Spiteful cow.

Like literally? Why doesn't she use both hands?

Well she can't catch me out tonight - I've got extra wine and I've locked all the doors.
No stealing from me tonight Missy

Which colour? were they the red ones? I found a packet in my drawer and I know I didn't buy them because they were unopened and I use them religiously just like the dentist told me to! I bet she put them there!

For my mild but irritating peri symptoms.

For the way Game of Thrones ended. (Still annoyed) And for the way tbe new series has gone. 💩

For not insisting Netflix renew Kaos for a second season.

For my cat puking on my brand new duvet set.

For leasehold property law. 💩 And the way we have to buy houses in England and Wales.

For university tuition fees and the cost of student housing in London.

For all the fare evaders roaming the TfL network and for all the t**ts eating fried chicken and not using headphones on the tube.

For BB asing Harry Potter on Star Wars.

She'll be outside yours with a fishing rod through your letter box.

Oh, she hides all the tape measures.

If she’s responsible for James Bond DYING in an actual James Bond film, and I think she might be, I swear to God I will never even look at a rack of Harry Potter stuff in Primark and other major stores EVER again.

I’ve heard that she doesn’t like to get her writing hand dirty.

She has also burnt my chips today. They were undercooked, I put them on for an extra 5 mins and she cast a spell to make me forget the timer.

No, that's also me, but i can do you a really good deal on 100 Stanley 5 metre tapes.

That makes sense.

Bet she broke your timer as well just in case you remembered to set it.

No they were blue! But don't imagine she can't change the colour of a packet of interdental brushes just like that. She's also responsible for the lack of a fez emoji 😤

It's totally her fault the bastard cat got into the litter tray, so I took my eyes off him, but managed to piss on the floor not in it.

I blame her entirely.

She hides mine just long enough for me to have to go out and buy a new one. I've got five now. And three staple guns.

I prioritized reading her books over studying.

hours later and JKR is still to blame for the lack of dish washing in my house. She's practically got my arm twisted up my back stopping me doing them until the morning.

She is very very wicked.

She literally just made me get chocolate out of the fridge and eat it. The cow.