I blame JKRowling

[RedToothBrush]

For shrinking the size of Monster Munch and shrinkflation generally.

Also the existence of belly button fluff

What do you blame her for?

Electricity bills rising and my DS spilling blackcurrant squash on the carpet.

I blame her for killing off Severus. Still not over it. 😭 It's been over 18 years. 🥺

I sprained my ankle this morning. JK tripped me. On purpose! 😠

I blame her for the perpetuation of the imperial system. First page of the new Strike book and she refers to Robin as having a fever of “104”?

I mean, WTF? Her husband is an anaesthetist and no way she doesn’t know that Celsius is the standard practice. She’s just determined to make us cling on to the imperial system as long as possible. She’ll be demanding donations to Lumos in guineas and shillings next 😡.

I blame her for my having dropped toast on my new Strike novel. And of COURSE it fell butter side down 😡

Sometimes I lose my phone and it's my own fault, I can't blame JKR, in all fairness. Because I still have a landline, I can phone my mobile from the landline and follow the ringtone and All Is Well.

What JKR does is wait until I have been somewhere where I had to set my phone to 'silent' and THEN she hides it.

Not just evil, but cunning.

That really is evil and cunning.

I think JKR made one of our dogs have an accident on the bed yesterday, so dh had to change all the bedding at gone 11pm.

See I thought like you, then JKR turned off my landline and connected it to my internet and now when I lose my phone, which IS her fault, she also causes faults on my internet so I can't even phone my phone to find it.

She is beyond wicked.

Jkr is definitely responsible for someone who I've never met having food poisoning this week, which means DH needs to work from home. DH has never met the person either, or was intending to, but it has led to this situation...

I'm pretty sure she told DP it was ok to take the leftover potato salad to work when I distinctly told him it was for my lunch. The witch.

He is clearly in cahoots with her. LTB!

Wut?

I’m supposed to be going on holiday, leaving at 6am tomorrow, and haven’t packed a thing yet. Bloody JKR stopped me.

My cat is putting on weight. It's JKR fault even if I cannot explain why. I think I may need to report it to the Met or similar.

JKR caused covid of course, and was behind all the lockdowns and it leading us into the cost of living crisis. She also encouraged Boris to host his bash.

On a more personal note I’m pretty sure she broke all the eggs that I bought from Aldi and found it most amusing when I got home and realised and couldn’t make the cake I’d promised for my friends daughters birthday.

I don’t know how she lives with herself after reading the posts on this thread and seeing the full on havoc she creates.

Thank you for this update. I feel much better now. I had been blaming myself for COVID as I took out annual travel insurance in November 2019 (the only time I ever did that), and had believed that must have triggered the global pandemic.

Now I can see clearly that JKR made me do that to set me up for it...

Well she’s obviously just made waste time on x and caused me to donate to graham linehan fundraiser. Darn I could have bought a new lipstick!

JKR is to blame for the fact that the new Hot Honey Jaffa Cakes that arrived in my shopping delivery at 8 am no longer exist.

JKR is so greedy!

As someone known to eat a whole packet in one go blame JKR for the disappearance of a packet of Jaffa Cakes, I demand to know what Hot Honey Jaffa Cakes are, I haven’t ever heard of them!

I've been waiting all bloody morning for the electrician to come and connect my new hob, he promised he'd be here "first thing" and where is he?? JKR must have made him disappear in a puff of smoke!

If you are reading this, JKR, thanks a bunch for removing artificial colours and flavours from Smarties all those years ago. The orange smartie was the best until you had to mess. I bet it was you who messed with orange TicTacs too. For shame!

The saga of my violas rumbles on. The new ones - to replace the ones JKR MURDERED with too much sun - are now drowning in the rain.

And we know whose fault this is, don't we?

Awful. Just wait to see what she has planned for your herbaceous border.

They are new. Obviously I don't know how exceedingly nice they taste as JKR didn't even let me try a bite of one.