Grayson Perry..

[CurlewKate]

I’ve always had a lot of time for Grayson Perry- but I saw a couple of pictures on a thread, bizarrely enough, about Sewing Bee,of him wearing what appeared to be an erect dildo at a charity event. While I am prepared to believe anything about the behaviour of men, this does seem distinctly out of character. Is there a background story I need to know, or do I have to add him to my list of shits

He has always been a revolting individual and has never bothered “hiding”. He has been in plain sight the whole time.

If Dave says it reflects some sort of a deep inner belief he probs would be OK.

Obviously it's not appropriate to wear a strap on dildo to a charity event for children. How on earth does this need to be said?

Although this behavior is explicitly sexual in Perry's case (because he said so), I think it is also about power and control. Doing something totally outrageous and not being called out on it is a show of dominance - he has such high status that no-one dares to challenge him. It also allows him to manipulate other people's behaviour - no-one at that event could fail to notice the dildo. So every interaction with him is either explicitly sexualized (why are you wearing that?) or they must be deliberately ignoring it (and potentially uncomfortable). Whichever way, his behaviour alters how everyone at the event interacts with him, so he exerts control over them.

The other thing about these kind of deliberate social transgressions I think is that they normalize increasingly inappropriate behaviour by the person who does them. It becomes a bit of a "personality quirk", so people in the social circle laugh it off, ignore their own discomfort or are ignored/censured if they try to raise any issues. Because that's just how he is / at least he's not wearing a strap on in public today / you're too sensitive/ he's a good guy etc etc.

It's gross.

For clarity, I do not think there were children present.

Was this recent? It’s horrible!

Oops sorry, I was trying to be concise. I think it's inappropriate to wear a strap on at any public event and more inappropriate at an event raising money for children with cancer. But what I wrote does sound like it is an event that children attended. Sadly too late to edit!

You’re not alone- I was clarifying for the whole thread in a tediously head girl manner!

I have always found him very creepy.

There's a whole load of difference between suggesting a wife could have said "are you sure about wearing that this evening dear" and holding her responsible for his choice.
Also, I included friends and members of the charity in my post. If I only mentioned his wife maybe you'd have a point. But you don't.
I'm not a misogynist.

He's a pervert who gets off on people's (rightly) shocked reactions.

And for the 'it's an old photo from 2007, he might have changed' shite, it was a fundraising ball to raise money for the Clic Sargent Childrens Charity. It's beyond comprehension that he wasn't told to leave immediately.

But then, he would have undoubtedly thoroughly enjoyed that.

I guess he used to do a great job of making transvestitism look acceptable, and making no illusion a man can "be" a woman. He was always going to be shown up as more cottoned on.

Bloody hell, that makes me so angry ! Enough of these manky 🤬🤬🤬!!!

The revolting photo was taken 18 years ago. I think back in 2007, AGP wasn’t as well recognised and understood for what it was. We were more naive as a society to public displays of fetishes and less likely to call it out. That does not make it appropriate attire for anyone to wear to a public function. MN FWR has taught me so much.

The Liberty fabric has a lot of subversive elements in the design despite a quick glance suggesting it was fairly ordinary.

I hadn't noticed that before. What a piece of shit.

He did an interview with the Guardian a few years ago.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/13/grayson-perry-im-an-unapologetic-fetishist-

I enjoyed his programmes on art during lockdown. Then I saw his dildo outfit photo at the children's charity event. I haven't been able to watch him since without feeling a bit sick.

there’s a time and place for indulging in fetishism. A children’s cancer event isn’t one of them.

So given what we trans widows have said over thousands of posts on this board, you think a gentle suggestion from his wife is likely to have changed his behaviour?

She isn't a trans widow, they're public about his cross dressing. He has always made it perfectly clear thats what it is.
It's very sad that you and other women have had your distressing experiences, but here, you're misrepresenting what I said.

The whole thread has been discussing how his being public about the fetish doesn't make it any less damaging, though.

Are You Good? A question that I think is fundamental to our humanity. In this show I will be helping you, the audience, find out if you really are thoroughly good or maybe quite evil, but in a fun way.
I always start out with the assumption that people are born good and then life happens. So, let’s pull back the curtain and see where your morals truly lie. Are you as virtuous as you think? With lots of audience participation (don’t worry, no one leaves unscathed) and a few silly songs we’ll have an entertaining evening and come out with our core values completely in tatters. Is it more important to be good or to be right?
It’s time to update what is a virtue and what is a sin. No biggie.
Yours truly, Grayson Perry

www.fane.co.uk/grayson-perry

I remember this at the time, it's at least 15 years ago but was in the papers then. Definitely not a recent manipulation.

This, late to the the thread and not read it all but I was quite ambivalent towards Grayson thinking he was open about being a male, dressing in drag but didn't attempt to identify as female. But this is appalling. WTAF?

He gets away with it because of a combination of celebrity, art, and not least the presence of an intelligent, respectable wife who he has been married to for decades. Take Philippa Perry out of the equation and he really wouldn’t be seen as so benign.

I don’t have strong feelings about him - I’m not keen on his art or TV shows but he at least has a lot of insight and honesty about his behaviour. But yeah, he’s taken the opportunity with both hands over the years to really run with his fetish, and he shouldn’t have been so indulged over it.

Very much in character

Yes I realise she will not identify as a trans widow. The point I’m making is that she will have approximately as much influence over her husband’s fetish as the rest of us have had and it’s unfair either to blame her for his behaviour or to assume that she has not tried to influence him.