What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

It’s not a unisex toilet.

OP said wrong toilet for their sex so it’s a single sex toilet.
They are designed with less safety / dignity measures

It was a really busy motorway service station loos with loads of women constantly coming in and out so in this instance I didn't feel unsafe, more indignant I suppose. If it was just him and me I would have hightailed it out of there as quickly as I could and felt much more vulnerable.

I don't know about the point of 'reporting it to a manager' as I would bet that most managers in places with public loos probably wouldn't have a clue how to deal with this, since lots of big companies and organisations are being given bad legal advice, or have been sucked into the 'the law is unclear' myth.

Also, are afraid of the trans lobby suing them and it all looking bad for them PR wise.

Sorry to hear you experienced that.

In this context their gender identity matters not one bit. The law determines what facilities can be provided according to biological sex.

And if you saw someone shoplifting?

I would keep my head down and say nothing, because I would be afraid of confronting them. Someone who is happy to violate women’s boundaries and the law, and who has male physique, is a threat to me.

At the very least if they are going to be allowing men in the women’s toilets. Or rather ignoring the Equalities Act telling the manager could mean

• they check for cameras in the women’s
• they look out for others using the wrong loos
• they put up better signage
• they instal a unisex toilet
• they actually comply with the requirements of the Equalities Act and Bregs 1992

Id be reminding them myself

And what if they weren't and were relying on women like you to turn away?

This thought crossed my mind earlier this week, as I work in a supermarket on the checkouts.
I cannot see some of our quite young security guards dealing with this, I actually think they don't / won't know the law.
Occasionally I need to get off the till and nip to the loo myself, our public loos are very very small so we are all stood very close to each other if all the cubicles are in use.
I expect being the user in uniform if another woman complained to me I will be the one dealing with it, and yes I am old enough and confident enough to inform the man that he is in the wrong toilets.

They have nothing to be afraid of now.

FWS got it all explained for those at the back

Leave them be. It’s not something I feel very strongly about. Prisons, rape survivor support groups, sports, I do feel strongly about, but I’m relaxed about toilets.

Simple. I'd leave. I do not wish to share a woman's space with a man.

Nothing. Go into my cubicle and do what I needed to do.

I'd say, " Excuse me, but this is a women's /female only toilet"

I’d politlry remind them they are in the wrong toilet and ask if they needed someone to help them to the right place.

Yay 👏👏👏 and @StealthMama

fight for it or lose it forever.
well done you !!!!

I’d just totally ignore them. I don’t enable narcissists and attention seekers by acknowledging them.

Good for you but what about others who are afraid? Especially girls?

Freeze in fear, then try to get the fuck out of there. Same as if confronted with any boundary ignoring man invading a single sex space.

I couldn't do that......same as when I see children misbehaving in public, I have to say something/act. I cannot walk away. Depending on the 'vibe' of the person I 'd have to consider whether to directly intervene, or alert an authority/keeper/guard etc

My instincts tell me when something 'wrong' is happening in public, it is my business.

Kick em in the balls!
Assuming they had any🤔

If I was alone I'd wait until the man had left, and mention to anyone else coming to use the toilets that a man was in there.
If I went in and there was another woman and the man I would stay until the other woman had finished.

I would undoubtedly ask him why he was in there before any of that though and let him know he doesn't belong in there at all even if he was wearing a dress.

and that rape survivors

If they are a cis man, they've walked in the wrong facilities and presumably would want to know.

If a transwoman then I need further info. As we've all heard, some will have been using these facilities for 20 year with no issues. They may or may not have a GRC.

They may also experienced violence using the male facilities, so that's on my short survey too as it's very important transwomen are safe too.

I've been doing my pelvic floor exercises in preparation, as well as collecting IKEA pencils!