What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex?

[FattyMcFattyArse]

I've been pondering this ever since the FWS decision and since I saw an obviously male transperson using the ladies at a service station. I initially froze and wanted to say something, but all my Britishness and female social conditioning made me just mutter under my breath and walk away in disgust.

What would you do?

What have you done?

What is the right thing to do?

They don't belong there, according to the law.

I'm working on it. Perhaps "have you read Judith Butler?" Yes probably transwoman, no is probably pervert. If they say "nebulous dog whistle' at any point, probably trans!

They would be commiting an offence

There are no transwomen
There are no transmen.
There are no cis women.

Just men and women.

If a man wants to dress womanly, fair do.
If a woman wants to dress manly, fair do.

But there are still only men and women.

Speak to whoever runs the facility and inform them they're breaking the law.

Or

as we all know

I'd probably be too worried to say anything. And that's a large part of the problem isn't it?

Really? That’s incredibly rude.

To answer several comments, it was clearly marked as the Ladies toilets. There was a Men's toilets next door. And a separate single Disabled cubicle on its own. There were no unisex loos there (apart from the disabled one which required a radar key)

And as for knowing who is who. This was a man in a dress. Very obviously not a biological woman.

Standing next to someone, women know who are women and who are not, on the whole. It's instinctual, visceral, as well as observed.

I would never look at a tall woman or a butch lesbian and suspect they were men.

And he's right! What an offensive thing to say! 🙄 🤣

Isn't it ridiculous?
I can't believe we've come to this.....

I've seen trans women in women's toilets before and haven't had the courage to say anything.

And so I was challenged by a JL employee at the till - she told me he was very offended by my response. I said well I was extremely offended by his presence and reiterated that I had not been rude I had just stated my view that men should not be in the ladies changing room. Again - FFS!

If men pretending to be women weren't trying to force us to accept them in the ladies, this wouldn't be a problem

Of course, you're right.. 👍

Thanks 😉

Well done you
JL are at fault here for not protecting single sex spaces and the women that use them

If there were toilet cubicles with locks, I would carry on. But I would report to management/security. The situation would be very different if it were changing rooms though (IE no lockable cubicles, an open space). I would say something to him, leave and report.

I don’t think there is a specific offence that someone commits just by using the toilets of the other sex.

They could be guilty of harassment or voyeurism, but that would require them to do something more than just enter the toilets I think.

A service provider/employer who knowingly lets/encourages people to use the wrong sex toilets is illegally discriminating.

Yes, it's never been a problem before...

Its against the Equalities Act which is there to protect even women

They can legally be asked to leave and must do so
The police can remove them

We have a trans woman at work who uses the female toilet. I don’t have any strong feelings about it tbh - she uses a cubicle, washes her hands then leaves. I can’t say I’d do anything at all unless I witnesses inappropriate behaviour.

I was walking to The Ladies in a service station a few weeks ago, it was pre school holidays and mid week so pretty quiet. There was a male person in a dress in front of me so I sat outside in the foyer area until he came back out and then went in for a wee.
If I had already been in there when he came in I would have left
I have no wish to share The Ladies toilets with a man, dangerous or not

No they're not, as they are going to the loo, not pursuing any illegal activity.

Airports in particular should be making their signing more explicit and making sure they’ve added some mixed sex facilities. Of all places, they’ll have both people from countries which have swallowed genderism so that trans identified males may assume they have the legal right to use whichever loos they want to, but also people from cultures for which mixed sex is an absolute no-no.

Sorry for the long story but I know how I'd react because I've been in this position. When I was first at work (nearly 20 years ago now) I was given a heads up about a dodgy guy that might "get a bit handsy" and essentially warned not to be alone with him. He was the type of guy who used to enjoy dropping innuendo into conversations with the female interns to embarrass us.

Anyway, I managed to keep my distance, moved on to another role and didn't really think about him until I came back to that office a few years later and discovered that he was now apparently a she. Which, of course, he demonstrated with a bad wig and a penchant for fishnets and knee high leather boots.

I remember one of the older PAs being vocally outraged about it and being caught between agreeing with her and thinking it wasn't the type of thing you should say out loud.

He, obviously, started using the women's toilets and initially I tried to be cool and accepting of it (I was 25 then) but it became clear that he was loitering and was nearly always in the loo whenever I was in there. On occasion I would go into a cubicle when the loos were empty and come out and he'd be at the sinks adjusting his tights or fixing his make-up.

After a few weeks of the classic awkward smile, limited eye contact and quick exit I decided to use the toilets on another floor, which it seemed most of the other women on our floor did. Our self-exclusion worked until Chris turned up in the other toilets saying "oh so this is where you've all been!"

Fortunately at this point, the previously mentioned older PA was told about it and went ballistic in the middle of the office and it ended with a specific toilet for Chris that we all avoided. God knows what would happen now, probably she'd be re-educated, or we all would for the horrific micro-aggression of refusing to share a loo.

So that's how I reacted as a younger woman - froze and fled - even for a guy I knew without doubt was dodgy, I still didn't have the guts to confront him.

Did they threaten/harm you in any way?

It's not just a view now, it's law.

Thank goodness.