I can't speak for anyone else, but I really don't have a problem with calling a handmaiden, a handmaiden.
If you think its rude, tough shit. My intention and I'm sure the intention of ours is not to be rude. Its to point out how unthinking and utterly in thrall to men, handmaidens are and how that harms the interests of all women. Aka as saying 'thats not fucking feminism'.
If you don't like being called a handmaiden, its quite easy to stop the accusation. By ceasing to be a handmaiden.
Women are not obliged to be 'nice' and spend their entire lives using soft language so no one gets ridiculously offended over petty nonsense. Otherwise women would never be able to say "no".
This case, gave the perfect example - when NC was asked if she would think about her use of language and pronouns and she replied "no".
Women have every right to use whatever language they see fit. On MN we need to be civil to keep within guidelines, however this doesn't mean we can't use terms that are accurate and descriptive to make a precise point.
The Tone Police can fuck off. This is MN and more to the point this is the feminist section of MN. We are direct and blunt. And thats ok. Women are allowed to be.
Women can say "no". We should do much more often than we do, because due to the fact so many women have this mentality that we should be 'nice' about everything and just be grateful for what we have, we aren't taken seriously when we should be. (Endless threads on maternity care where women are told not to complain or to be grateful etc etc are a useful example in the context of the visibility of a huge nationwide maternity scandal).
I would go so far as to say that women SHOULD be rude in certain situations for our own bloody good and self interest. Precisely because of all these numerous examples of when we aren't direct and blunt we get shat on from great height.