The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B

[Magpiecomplex]

Welcome all, pull up a gerbil and make yourself comfortable!

Or Hillsborough perhaps.

There are Northern Irish things which have passed into catchphrases in our house, having been said by a colleague a long, long time ago: "Orya a man or a moyce?" & 'dyesprit'.

I bet you can tell where she hailed from.

For a minute there, I thought that first photo was of two mis-matched tractors having a fight in the woods.

Happens all the time round here, when they think there are no humans around.

😂😅

Dealing with English colleagues on a daily basis, I sometimes have to remind myself not to send work emails recommending a course of action 'for thon would be deadly crack' 😉

Sure lookit, t'would be savage!😀

MarieDeGournay
I WANT ONE!!
Whatever it is, and despite the fact that it wouldn't fit in my garden and that I have no need for it, and that I wouldn't know how to operate it I WANT ONE!!
FarriersGirl
It is a forestry tractor and an absolute monster of a machine!!

I don't care! I WANT ONE! You're just saying that because you never let me have anything nice! I haaaate you!
<slams door and goes to sulk in room>

I'm currently imagining the scene, with a mini digger keeping lookout.

Our new school Chaplain came from Belfast. In his first sermon he confused everyone by talking about bomb-damaged seals.

It was bomb damage sales.

Yeah, a shifty-looking mini digger is always the first clue as to what's going on just out of sight. Sometimes two of them.

That & the sound of metal-on-metal action.

Not everyone will get this.

Dad (listening to radio) See that, that's Nat King Cole
DD: Who is it then?

Nothing to do with accents, just mishearing- I was told by a mutual friend that my schoolfriend was going out with a " Randy Communist".

Later it transpired he was a "Land Economist".

I could read that in our Chaplain’s voice, but then I’d need the “funny” button.

Now some of the rural accents trip me up from time to time. I remember this oul lad complaining at great length about sauce, and I wondered what he had against sauce, and had someone given him red instead of brown for his piece or vice versa, until I figured out he was a handyman talking about saws.

And you don't get union reps like this fella any more:

I noted that it was an enormous beast when I looked at the photo... those things rip trees out and saw them up in 4 1/2 seconds

That's a John Deere.
I'd love to have a play on thay. Can we have one for the Bluey?

🤣🤣🤣

We have gerbil-sized ones...

... oh, & there we all are, having fun in the field.

Nonono we MUST have roll bars on the tractors, remember the 1970s, barely a week went by without a rolled-tractor-related fatality.

Calorie gluten and alcohol food and drink are one thing, non fatal tractor accidents are another.

But if we're getting machines, baggsy me a digger - a little one so I can dig holes and move rocks.

Apparently all tractors can be unlocked with the same key. I'm surprised there are not more tractor thefts as a result. So @MarieDeGournay , just borrow the key to a Bluestocking tractor and go and get any tractor that takes your fancy.

Speaking of tractors - I used to sit beside a girl in primary school called Attracta.
It didn't make us laugh cos us Irish clearly pronounce the final 'r', so none of us thought that Mr & Mrs X had called their daughter after a piece of farm machinery.
For Attracta's sake, I hope she never emigrated to England... or more accurately those parts of England where they don't pronounce the final 'r'.

[Phew - I just got in in time to edit to say that, I could practically hear the cries of ' And what about the places they say tracterrrrrrrr ?'!]

Cool! thank you for that useful piece of info Myrtle....vroom vroom vroom...

I don't want some little Fergie lookalike tractor; I want a proper, grown up tractor:

Just looking through the family album.

The McBoiled wild haggis catchers were famous in their day.