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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Man pushed ahead of woman to use female toilet

117 replies

BlossomIsSoPretty · 12/05/2025 20:31

This didn't directly affect me as I have use disabled toilets, but I was out earlier and there was one male, one female, and one disabled toilet. There were 3 men and 1 woman waiting. One of the men was about to go into the disabled toilet when he saw me. I have no choice but to use disabled (wheelchair user). The female toilet became vacant and the man walked towards the door. The woman waiting was quite young and looked surprised but didn't say anything. I'm far from young and used to speaking up for myself, so I pointed out that it was a toilet for females and unless I was mistaken he wasn't female. He said no but I'm desperate and went in anyway.

So not only do women have to put up with men pretending to be women, we now have a man who decided he was going to use the women's toilet anyway!

OP posts:
smellyhouseelf · 12/05/2025 20:38

He was desperate. Would you prefer he pissed himself?

drspouse · 12/05/2025 20:41

If he had a medical need he could have said "I have a medical condition" and used the disabled.
If he'd just had a lot to drink he could have waited.

SpaceOfAides · 12/05/2025 20:43

'We' now have a man? You're taking a single isolated incident somewhere to extrapolate to all women? Are you always this dramatic?

BlossomIsSoPretty · 12/05/2025 20:56

So it's ok for a man to enter a woman's space because he's desperate? So if all the men's toilet in cubicles were full, it's ok for a man to enter the ladies toilets because he's desperate? And to push ahead of women waiting?

OP posts:
Gloschick · 12/05/2025 21:03

I don't have a problem with this if they were individual self contained loos (rather than a women's bathroom). Women sometimes use men's loos when they are desperate. If it saves someone wetting / soiling themselves, it is worth cutting them a bit of slack, regardless of their sex.

LadyKenya · 12/05/2025 21:03

He could have had a medical condition, and having to wait for either the disabled toilet to be free, or the male toilet, may have been too much for him. You were entering the disabled toilet, at the same time, it would seem.

lnks · 12/05/2025 21:05

You’re not wrong at all OP. The whole trans thing appears to have given twatty men permission to treat women poorly

Screamingabdabz · 12/05/2025 21:08

lnks · 12/05/2025 21:05

You’re not wrong at all OP. The whole trans thing appears to have given twatty men permission to treat women poorly

Agreed. This is the problem now. Give them an inch and they take a mile.

Velmy · 12/05/2025 21:11

BlossomIsSoPretty · 12/05/2025 20:56

So it's ok for a man to enter a woman's space because he's desperate? So if all the men's toilet in cubicles were full, it's ok for a man to enter the ladies toilets because he's desperate? And to push ahead of women waiting?

Would you rather he pissed all over the floor in front of you?

MixedBananas · 12/05/2025 21:11

Well done for speaking up. And what an idiot. Desperation or not he is a grown ask adult he should have gotten to a toilet sooner he isn't a toddler or child! Your body gives you signs well before your bursting.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 12/05/2025 21:14

smellyhouseelf · 12/05/2025 20:38

He was desperate. Would you prefer he pissed himself?

How did he know the woman waiting wasn’t desperate? He didn’t ask her and didn’t care, just unilaterally decided his needs came before everyone else’s and gave zero fucks about how she felt one way or the other. This attitude is unfortunately prevalent amongst men, even when they’re sporting kitten heels and lipstick.

AgnesX · 12/05/2025 21:14

smellyhouseelf · 12/05/2025 20:38

He was desperate. Would you prefer he pissed himself?

Funny how women manage to hold it in so much better than men despite "being desperate".

That man was an entitled twat.

JellySaurus · 12/05/2025 21:16

I cannot believe the apologists for this entitled man!

When I've been desperate, or with a small child of uncertain bladder, I haven't pushed ahead of others. I've asked if I could please go ahead of them.

Did this man have no manners? Or did he perhaps not feel any need for manners, or for consideration of other toilet users? And why did he push ahead of the woman waiting, and not the other men?

MmeChoufleur · 12/05/2025 21:18

lnks · 12/05/2025 21:05

You’re not wrong at all OP. The whole trans thing appears to have given twatty men permission to treat women poorly

It’s also made women absolutely bloody obsessed with public toilets. I’ve used the men’s toilets when there’s been an enormous queue for the ladies and I was absolutely bursting. I’m not sure why individual toilets are for any specific gender, they can only be used by a single person at any one time.

SerafinasGoose · 12/05/2025 21:19

smellyhouseelf · 12/05/2025 20:38

He was desperate. Would you prefer he pissed himself?

Yes.

Well, you asked …

Dutchesss · 12/05/2025 21:19

He should have asked. Were the toilets self contained and had he been waiting longer than the woman?

Pebbles16 · 12/05/2025 21:23

TBF, I have used the men's toilets.
I have an invisible disability so if all other routes are closed to me, I just say "sorry" very loudly and head for the nearest available space. The alternative would be pretty unpleasant for all around me. No one has batted an eyelid.
The only resistance I have ever experienced is using the disabled toilet and being berated by women for "jumping the queue".

Whatsgoingonherethenagain · 12/05/2025 21:25

AgnesX · 12/05/2025 21:14

Funny how women manage to hold it in so much better than men despite "being desperate".

That man was an entitled twat.

Edited

I was having this conversation with dd recently. She’s noticed men often appear less able to recognise or hold it- little things like dh will suddenly he announce he needs a wee on the motorway and we have to stop next services.

I’ve known men pull over to the side of the road too. In fact last night saw a little boy at the side of a car having a pee roadside.

Whereas the girls will be like when are we stopping, and will be able to hold it until a convenient.

my theory is people are much more tolerant, and obviously it’s easier for men to pee whenever and wherever. So they never really learn how to recognise early on when they might need, and how to hold it for longer than it takes their brain to get the full bladder message.

so men it’s need wee, stop and wee. Women are need wee, need to find somewhere a) private, b) convenient to squat, c) preferably with toilet paper, and d) with clean enough floor to drop trousers.

Pebbles16 · 12/05/2025 21:28

MixedBananas · 12/05/2025 21:11

Well done for speaking up. And what an idiot. Desperation or not he is a grown ask adult he should have gotten to a toilet sooner he isn't a toddler or child! Your body gives you signs well before your bursting.

Errr... try living with a condition where the "signs" are instantaneous and there is no magic planning that can be deployed.
I find it hard to believe that the average man would choose to use the ladies any more than I "choose" to use the men's.
I am a gender critical woman and do not tolerate fetish, but I have compassion for those with incontinence needs (because I have them myself).

EnjoythemoneyJane · 12/05/2025 21:32

Velmy · 12/05/2025 21:11

Would you rather he pissed all over the floor in front of you?

Funny how this doesn’t happen in venues where the men’s loos also have urinals and can accommodate half a dozen at a time, but there’s a slow-moving 10-deep queue of women waiting to use one or two cubicles.

You’d think we’d all be barging into the men’s or pissing like horses all over the show. But I guess that would require a complete lack of self-control and an overweening sense of entitlement, wouldn’t it?

lonlynessworks · 12/05/2025 21:40

AgnesX · 12/05/2025 21:14

Funny how women manage to hold it in so much better than men despite "being desperate".

That man was an entitled twat.

Edited

Im a woman and i cant hold my wee if i have to go i have to go.

NextRinny · 12/05/2025 21:47

Yup. Go on. Throw women under the bus (out of the loos) for the poor dears.

What will it take for the female need for her own space to trump the poor unfortunate male soul who always seems to have some important reason for having complete ignorance of any female wants or needs?

ArabellaScott · 12/05/2025 21:50

JellySaurus · 12/05/2025 21:16

I cannot believe the apologists for this entitled man!

When I've been desperate, or with a small child of uncertain bladder, I haven't pushed ahead of others. I've asked if I could please go ahead of them.

Did this man have no manners? Or did he perhaps not feel any need for manners, or for consideration of other toilet users? And why did he push ahead of the woman waiting, and not the other men?

Exactly. The reasonable thing to do would have been to ask.

And not piss all over the seat.

BundleBoogie · 12/05/2025 21:53

smellyhouseelf · 12/05/2025 20:38

He was desperate. Would you prefer he pissed himself?

He’s a grown man, he should have learnt to control his bladder by now.

ArabellaScott · 12/05/2025 21:53

Also, I note he demurred from using the disabled loo, but considered the women's fair game.

Why? He's not supposed to be in either.

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