Man pushed ahead of woman to use female toilet

[BlossomIsSoPretty]

This didn't directly affect me as I have use disabled toilets, but I was out earlier and there was one male, one female, and one disabled toilet. There were 3 men and 1 woman waiting. One of the men was about to go into the disabled toilet when he saw me. I have no choice but to use disabled (wheelchair user). The female toilet became vacant and the man walked towards the door. The woman waiting was quite young and looked surprised but didn't say anything. I'm far from young and used to speaking up for myself, so I pointed out that it was a toilet for females and unless I was mistaken he wasn't female. He said no but I'm desperate and went in anyway.

So not only do women have to put up with men pretending to be women, we now have a man who decided he was going to use the women's toilet anyway!

I don’t manage to hold it in. I’ve wet myself before. And sometimes it takes a long time to find a toilet or you’ve been driving for a.while or something and by the time you find a toilet you are bursting/desperate.

I don't know your situation and maybe you can't and don't, but I hope you'd still find your manners instead of shoving past someone without a by you leave.

I was commenting on the fact that you have said women “manage to hold it in” and PPs who seem to be jumping to conclusions about this man’s bladder control. I am a woman and can’t always hold it. So you are incorrect when you say that women can hold it. That’s my point. Hope that’s clearer.

There is a Pedants Corner if you want to visit it instead. 🙄

That’s a very unnecessary and rude response.

Well don't be so pedantic. The comment was understandable to anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together.

The point was more about people being rude aka men shoving past, which you've missed because you were to busy being indignant.

You are jumping to conclusions with me and being judgemental as you’ve done with this man that you don’t know from Adam. I wasn’t being indignant, as I said in my post, I was clarifying that sometimes women also can’t wait so to say they can is incorrect. I was sharing my experience and wasn’t commenting on the rudeness on the man’s approach. Your response to me made no sense in that context so I clarified my meaning as assumed you had misunderstood. It’s not pedantic to clarify meaning. For some reason you don’t like my response and that has led to you becoming incredibly rude. Which to be honest as I am battling with chronic illness and my mental health is not in a good way I could do without today. But keyboard warriors rarely stop to think about there being a person behind the comments when posting unnecessarily nasty responses.

The gracious thing would have been to acknowledge that your earlier point (about women’s and men’s bladder control being different) was wrong and to thank @TatteredAndTorn for clarifying, rather than calling her pedantic for clarifying her point. I agree with you that the man in the OP behaved poorly, and should have asked before jumping in. But the issue was with his failure to ask, rather than that he should have had better bladder/bowel control as none of us know his reality.

The point was about the expectation that everyone else, especially the woman ahead of him could cope. While I appreciate that words on a page don't convey sarcasm it was implicit.

I'm bowing out of this one. Feel free to have the last word.

Perhaps the women waiting were desperate too or needed to change sanitary protection quickly? It’s the rudeness apart from the wrong toilet. A woman who was desperate would have spoken to the women at the front of the queue and politely asked to go first if they needed to.

"A woman who was desperate would have spoken to the women at the front of the queue and politely asked to go first if they needed to."

Which is strange because when I've encountered women going into the men's they have never "politely asked me" for permission to go first.

Almost as if all men and all women don't all behave the same ....

Well, not really strange, is it? Because I wasn’t talking about that. I made no comment on what women who go into the men’s do. I meant that if this had been a women who wanted to go in front of a queue of other women into the women’s toilet, she’d have asked. Did I say every single woman? No, I didn’t.

If you’ve got an issue with women using men’s toilets then that’s a separate discussion for many reasons, one being urinals/cubicles, for instance.

So many handmaidens here trying to excuse this man’s entitled behaviour. I mean, if he was going to jump a queue for medical reasons it would be more time-effective to jump the men’s. They are quicker in the loos than women, as we all know!

He chose to jump the women’s queue because he enjoyed it.

You are jumping to conclusions with me and being judgemental as you’ve done with this man that you don’t know from Adam.

Just as you and that man are doing to the lady he jumped in front of who he didn't know from Eve...

What on earth has JKR got to do with a pervert grabbing your breast? I'm sorry that happened to you. But seriously, that's on him.

I’m sorry for anyone who has had a man assault them. It obviously stays with the victim. Sometimes these men who encroach on women’s boundaries (it is usually men who do this to women) escalate their behaviour as they seek bigger thrills at offending against women. Next woman/girl he sexually assaults might suffer more serious consequences. Might even be through his job. It might have been better for any future victim if he wasn’t in his position.

I have sheared my barnet before. A really short crew cut. I don’t know what make-up, skirts, earrings had to be worn for people to see I was a woman. I didn’t wear any of those and people still could tell I was a woman. Even with my couple of cm’s of hair.