BBC series I Kissed a Boy decision "homophobic in the extreme" - LGB Alliance

[IwantToRetire]

We have written to Tim Davie, Director-General of the BBC, about the homophobia displayed in the casting of a trans identified female in their upcoming series of ‘I Kissed A Boy’.

By doing this they are telling young gay men watching the show that they must be attracted to women who are pretending to be male. This is regressive, insulting and ‘homophobic in the extreme.’

Read our letter here:

https://lgballiance.org.uk/bbc-series-homophobic-in-the-extreme/

(Sorry cant find a version of the letter that isn't text via a graphic.)

Your gay friends who date trans identified females are not gay then, are they? Gay men are attracted to other men. Exclusively. Words mean things. Gay means homosexual which means same sex attracted.
A TIF is not the same sex as a gay man. If a man is dating a woman that's a heterosexual relationship regardless of how either party "identify"
Sex is a biological category.

It's actually insane that this needs to be explained but apparently it does.

Well... yes I agree. But they call themselves gay. Hence that's the term I've used here.

Just think it's good to hear the actual voices of gay men (and lesbians) about this while others are busy debating, and in some cases denying, our rights to same sex attraction.

Absolutely agree. Like I said some of my "gay" friends include trans people in their dating pool. Others don't. Which I guess is the issue. The men who identify as gay but date TM think other gay men are being mean. And vice versa for lesbians/TW. Interestingly the majority of "lesbians" I know are absolutely TRAs/TWAW. The very very few I know who aren't have been shunned by the community at large. Its all a mess.

Interestingly the majority of "lesbians" I know are absolutely TRAs/TWAW. The very very few I know who aren't have been shunned by the community at large.

Threats and punishment does have the effect of coercing people into stating positions they don’t agree with.

I’m really sad to have just realised that the BBC have cancelled this series after 2 series. The series 2 just came out.

What other BBC series (or on any UK broadcaster sadly) is there to specifically represent lesbians on screen? I’m presuming the answer is none.

So important for young women and for everyone to continue IKAG and IKAB as an accessible representation of themselves, particularly for young people at home etc.
There’s a petition on Change.org with 16K signatures. I just feel really sad that at a time when LGB communities are so under pressure that the one thing that’s on TV specifically for them has been cancelled.

Cuts at the BBC is the given reason.

Also despite some of our worries on here, they didn’t give away an woman’s place to a man in series 2 - kept it as just a fun dating show for women only, and the word lesbian was used a lot.

The did put a non-binary woman in it as a compromise. Interestingly she talked about her childhood identifying as a boy from age 3/4 and her parents referring to her as a boy until she found the non-binary label at age 18. I thought that was a really interesting backstory but it was barely discussed. So I think she went from FTM to NB.

There's 'representation' and there's 'representation' though -
I don't think IKAG was a very useful representation of what it is to be a lesbian - if I had seen it when I was a 'young person at home', I'd have been completely alienated by the vapidness and superficiality..

..in fairness I should add ..'...the two or three times I watched about 10-15 mins of IKAG rather than a whole programme'
but I think that was enough to get a good idea of what it was like.

I don't think that representation is necessarily a bad thing though. Straight people get all kinds of TV about them that's vapid and superficial, why shouldn't gay people have the same? Like you, I'd probably feel alienated by IKAB. But if I'd been the kind of teenager that enjoyed stuff like Love Island, then I probably wouldn't have been.

I still don't love the idea of IKAB/G, because rather than it just being a dating show that happens to be about gay people, it's a dating show where the hook is "Look at the gay people!". It's feels like "Love on the spectrum", which is very "Look at the autistic people!".

The exploitative aspect of it is to me, a point against it existing, but while the superficiality of it is a point against me actually watching the flipping thing, it's not a reason why it shouldn't exist, if you get what I mean.

I know what you mean, but straight people get lots of other kinds of representation in the media, we just get the vapid and superficial🙄

I wouldn't say IKAG shouldn't exist - that would be me indulging in cancel culture, wouldn't it😱- I'm just saying I didn't like the bits of IKAG I watched at all at all.

On the actual topic of the thread - I sometimes deviate into commenting on the actual topic - misleading someone about your sex/sexual ID is never acceptable, and making it an amusing little nudge-nudge-wink-wing 'quirk' in IKAB is wrong.

I really doubt older adults posting on MN are the target market. And thats fine. It shouldn’t have been stopped after two series though with nothing else offered specifically for lesbians (I feel like gay men are a lot more visible in the media elsewhere so maybe that’s different)

Positives of it were that IKAG/B is a very gentle format compared to lots of the straight dating shows, plus it’s discussed some serious issues for the individuals taking part which other reality and dating formats don’t always allow for. It’s frothy in its dating angle obviously. But so what? And I don’t love all the ‘Morher Minogue’ stuff Danni is trying to imprint on to her role. But I do think having IKAG/B is better than having nothing.

Dating shows are very influential for younger viewers who might not have much real life dating experience - for good or ill. So it’s a very important part of representation and understanding social norms to watch your own potential dating life on screen for anyone- but it seems totally obvious that should go especially for younger LGB people, who are not going to be seeing other LGB people on screen ubiquitously.

I don’t mind at all that they put a woman with special pronouns on the show this series. They did not give a woman’s place on a lesbian dating show to a man. That would have been awful.