BBC series I Kissed a Boy decision "homophobic in the extreme" - LGB Alliance

[IwantToRetire]

We have written to Tim Davie, Director-General of the BBC, about the homophobia displayed in the casting of a trans identified female in their upcoming series of ‘I Kissed A Boy’.

By doing this they are telling young gay men watching the show that they must be attracted to women who are pretending to be male. This is regressive, insulting and ‘homophobic in the extreme.’

Read our letter here:

https://lgballiance.org.uk/bbc-series-homophobic-in-the-extreme/

(Sorry cant find a version of the letter that isn't text via a graphic.)

I'd love to see a trans inclusive anything in the mainstream media which was fundamentally based upon honesty. What a breath of fucking fresh air that would be. As well as genuinely progressive.

@dubaichocolate

In MAFS the women and men are in separate groups to begin with and actually in the last series the long haired woman of the lesbian match was in with the men and the short haired woman was in with the women. But normally I’d agree with you.

I just typed out a reply about how you're wrong because I've watched all of them (not something I'm proud of but it helps provide some distraction during insomnia nights and some light relief from the heavy day to day stuff) I thought thought hang on. Let me go and check. And you are right. I'd completely forgotten about Zoe and Jenna.
But..in my defense, that was series #7, the last series was #9 and featured Eve and Charlie, who are the couple I described in my earlier comment.
Who knows what they have in store for #10.

I thought Charlie went to the stag do and Eve to the hen.

But they were both toxic as all get out anyway.

@Slothtoes
I’d say it’s really unfair on the TM too because the men in the show are not going to want to date that person. So putting themselves through that rejecting experience is really going to confirm a lot of anxieties that the TM will have. In a super public real names used kind of way. It’s creating the potential for a lot of trouble. The producers should be really concerned about fucking with reality contestants’ mental health like that.

That's not going to happen though

Reality TV shows are as based in reality as I am thinking I sound like Mary J Blige when I go to karaoke night.

They're scripted and produced to an agenda and there is no way the trans man will be humiliated and rejected.
If anything, they might be rejected by one of the men, but there will be another man who will step in and say TMAM and all will be well in the world again.

Ok, I have no idea, but I'm willing to bet money on it panning out just like that.

There is no way they will vilify a trans person on TV like that. They'll vilify the dude who says he's not into vagina, because 'some men have vaginas'
We all know the script by now, well the script for lesbians.

We'll see

Absolutely! The gay scene is testosterone central......and not for the faint hearted. I cannot imagine a woman, no matter how masculine looking, could survive in it - let alone be accepted in it.

I've never heard of Ella but after watching that clip you'd have to be blind drunk not to think at the very least there was something very, very odd about them.

Has anyone watched an episode yet? I'll have to give it a go.......I imagine it will be most interesting.

Apparently the viewing figures for IKAB for first series were dire, but BBC in their wisdom decided to squander licence payers money on a second series.

Such a wonderful letter...such a shame that it needed to be written...

You are right and I am wrong (also apologies @dubaichocolate )

The Eve/charlie story was hideous.
The entire series was a car crash, I bailed out and couldn't watch until the end.

I may have also been getting mixed up with the hideous Dempsey/Statler drama in 90 Day F UK.

I don't watch TV generally, apart from dramas on catch up/Netflix etc and have never been into reality dating stuff.

I seem to have developed a curiosity about how relationships and dating are portrayed on TV.

Naked Attraction and Dating Naked UK ? Anyone?

I've seen a few episodes of NA that featured non-binary and trans identified people along with the usual participants.
I'm not a fan though, and it's not because I'm a prude, I just don't particularly enjoy seeing people showcasing their genitals.

The arguments in favour are that it normalises naked bodies but I find the whole show rather creepy.

@dubaichocolate
I'm told there are transmen on Grindr. Not as many as there are TIMS on lesbian sites, but there are some pushing the Men with vaginas narrative.
Maybe some are successful because it takes all sorts and not all men who say they are gay are gay.
The gay men I know are of the :eww vagina, no thanks: kind.

The difference is, gay men are not going to be bullied or forced to accept that 'some gays have man pussy, and get their saunas/clubs/venues closed down if they don't submit. They'll just tell them to FRO.

The transman, Lars, in the IKAB second series has come out to all of the cast on camera. However Lars wasn’t out when being kissed as a ‘gay man’ by another gay man in the official dating ‘match’ made by the producers at the start of the series.
A match requires two contestants to meet and kiss on camera, usually without speaking first, to start the first show of the series off. So that was deceptive on purpose of the match partner, which is a very poor example of consent for the BBC to show.

The rest of the cast have so far since accepted Lars the TM without question, even including on questions of sexual practice like Lars saying that they are a top or can top. IKAB is all about men celebrating their same sex attraction to each other, then why has there been no space for anyone to ask about why they’ve made it a mixed sex cast, as though it’s not OK to care if your partner is male or female? Or has male or female body parts?

Including this transman in a show around dating, romantic and sexual relationships is very #nodebate which is totally inappropriate in personal relationships. Always, consent must be paramount. Acceptance without question or whatever that gaslighty phrase used to be, is totally misplaced.

The rest of the cast have so far since accepted Lars the TM without question, even including on questions of sexual practice like Lars saying that they are a top or can top.

I don't believe a word of it.

Absolutely no gay man I know would enjoy being topped by a female with a faux-penis.
As someone said up thread, the casual scene is generally quite hardcore and physical
The suggestion is laughable

Nothing odd about her in the slightest.

No, she's just like every woman I've ever met. Not.

I wonder what Graham Norton or LOJ have to say about this.
How does this square with their trans acceptance stance?

They probably humour Lars for woke points knowing full well they'll never be in a position where they actually have to fuck them. TM.can never be a physical threat to men.

I don't have the receipt but wasn't OJ offended as fuck when someone asked him if he would do cunnilingus with a transman?

Yes. Yes he was 😂😂😂

But absolutely insisted that a lesbian should get on with providing services as required.

He failed to see a problem with that.

Lars is quite sweet and also quite passable - if you look at the face and mannerisms only......but is clearly a lot shorter than all of the male participants and has tell tale female bodily features and gait. Lars hangs back quite a bit, understandably, whilst most of the others are far more overt in their preferences and expression.

It will be interesting to see how it all develops in further episodes.

The usual "queer" friendly media don't seem to be promoting this series much, a bit quiet over it.

Seems like a lot of the gay men who write entertainment and promote "trans women are women" suddenly don't seem that "queer positive" over a biological female on a gay male dating show. They'd rather pretend the show doesn't exist.

I watched a Jack Jewell youtube video talking about this and he made an interesting point about all the gay men in the series being of a certain type, young, twinky and femme leaning I think was the description.

He pointed out that other types of men from the gay scene - masc, bears, muscle/leathermen were not included. Maybe there is less interest from those men in reality TV shows but it also makes me wonder if the cast was built around Lars to be less threatening, more camouflaging and more accepting.

I'm not sure I believe they won't have been told in advance and probably all screened heavily for any hint of wrongthink. The coming out moment was probably very scripted.

On an individual level if they've all signed up in full knowledge for it then fair enough that's up to them. The harm is in the message it promotes about boundaries and sexuality.

I thought the same about how similar everyone was, but reality tv does tend to do that anyway. Ive never seen anyone like me on love Island.

I think its as much to appeal to the straight audience as anything. It looks cute in a way that having a bear chatting up young twinks doesn’t.

Essentially the men taking part in this are the same who would be on Drag Race.

I think they've picked less threatening men for the public, so that it's a less threatening show for probably a lot of straight women to watch.