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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Cisgender lesbian forcibly removed from toilets by male security after being wrongly accused of being a man

315 replies

Christinapple · 07/05/2025 15:51

This isn't the first time this has happened is it? I expect IMHO there will be more cases like this happening given the current obsession with trans people and how masculine or feminine people look.

https://gomag.com/article/hotel-guard-barges-into-womens-restroom-accuses-lesbian-guest-of-being-a-man/

https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/05/07/liberty-hotel-boston-bathroom-lesbian-trans/

https://www.msn.com/en-nz/news/other/same-sex-couple-demands-answers-after-hotel-security-threw-one-out-of-bathroom-thinking-she-was-a-man/ar-AA1Eh00e

"A woman and her girlfriend were thrown out of a luxurious five-star hotel after a security guard allegedly accused her of being a man using a female bathroom.
Ansley Baker and her partner, Liz Victor, were at the Liberty Hotel in Boston, Massachusetts, attending a Kentucky Derby party on Saturday.

The couple was using the women’s restroom in the foyer when they heard a bang on the stall doors, they told CBS News Boston.
Baker said she was in one of the stalls as Victor waited around the corner near the sinks. The hotel says that security was alerted by several women that the couple was sharing a single stall. Baker and Victor deny being in the same stall.
The male security guard allegedly began urging Baker, who was born a woman and identifies as a woman, to get out of the bathroom and accused her of being a man
“All of a sudden there was banging on the door,” Baker told the local news station. “I pulled my shorts up. I hadn't even tied them. One of the security guards was there telling me to get out of the bathroom, that I was a man in the women's bathroom. I said, ‘I'm a woman.’”"

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/05/2025 00:10

dylexicdementor11 · 07/05/2025 18:16

  1. Every one of those pictures crops out the hips.
  2. Try covering the hair and the face below the nose, so that you can just see the nose, eyes, and brows. The lack of brow ridge is a clue.
DefineHappy · 08/05/2025 00:10

suggestionsplease1 · 07/05/2025 22:12

Not doing your homework for you.

Simply look up any major indices looking at the wellbeing / equality of women internationally, then generate a list of the top performing countries .Then cross check against countries with policies of gender self-ID, and you will see that policies of self ID are clearly no barrier whatsoever to a country being the best in the world for women to live in.

“Not doing your homework for you” - whilst posting ChatGPT results? Ha. 😁

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/05/2025 00:12

CompleteGinasaur · 07/05/2025 18:17

I'm also left wondering (without granting the validity of the rotten bloody concept in the slightest, you understand...) how a lesbian can be anything other than "cisgender" in the first place? Surely if she identifies as anything other than a woman she no longer complies with the definition of the term? And the whole extra rabble-rousing descriptor is redundant anyway?

No. A female homosexual is a lesbian, no matter how she feels about being female.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/05/2025 00:17

dylexicdementor11 · 07/05/2025 18:26

Women are most at risk of sexual violence in their own homes. If we really want to protect women from male violence we should focus our attention on domestic abuse.

I was sexually assaulted for the first time in a school changing room aged eight.

I can keep myself safe in my home by excluding all men bar my father. Other women can choose to keep male-free homes to protect themselves if they consider men to be too risky. Women can't keep ourselves safe in public without having female-only spaces.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/05/2025 00:24

dylexicdementor11 · 07/05/2025 18:33

I’m not interested in blaming anyone. I’m interested in protecting people from harm.

If my area of concern (obstetric violence and poor maternal health outcomes) received half as much attention from all of the warriors on this and so many other threads, the media etcetera, I’m sure we could actually start to improve the life chances of women and girls. But no, we are stuck in a nonsensical debate about WCs. If you care about women’s health and futures start advocating for reproductive justice.

If you care about women’s health and futures start advocating for reproductive justice

I am gender critical and I also donate to an abortion access fund. Women can care about two things at once. Who knew?

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/05/2025 00:27

dylexicdementor11 · 07/05/2025 18:46

My point is that men dressing up as women and/or claiming to be women so that they can access women only spaces so that they can harm women - does not come close to comparing to the harm caused to women by men (dressed as men and identifying as men).

The proportion of TW jailed for rape versus men jailed for rape would indicate that one TW in a women's loo is more dangerous than one man in a women's loo. So keep TW out.

thirdfiddle · 08/05/2025 00:46

porridgecake · 07/05/2025 16:08

Hmm. I wonder if the security guard manufactured the situation in order to pander to certain people. Or the whole thing was staged. Nothing would surprise me.

It's funny, it seems to be the exact same case as christinapple shared before. Down to the girlfriend in tow and apparently being in the same cubicle. Is it the same couple and what are they up to?

suggestionsplease1 · 08/05/2025 00:48

WithSilverBells · 07/05/2025 22:43

...anyone?....anyone? please come back😭

In fact you could just put the whole issue into AI and it concludes the trans inclusive interpretation of evidence is the most robust explanation 😀
...

How do gender critical feminists explain why the countries that are highest ranked in the world for women's equality and well being also have policies of gender self id

ChatGPT said:
Gender-critical feminists typically argue that the presence of gender self-ID policies in countries with high levels of women's equality and well-being is not evidence that those policies cause or support gender equality. Instead, they tend to explain this phenomenon in several ways:

  1. Pre-existing High Standards of Women's Rights
They argue that countries like Sweden, Norway, or New Zealand had already achieved strong protections and high standards for women’s rights before introducing gender self-ID policies. From this view, gender self-ID is riding on the coattails of established women's equality, not contributing to it.
  1. Policy Adoption Due to Broader Progressive Trends
Some gender-critical feminists view gender self-ID laws as part of a general trend toward social liberalism in these countries. They argue that while these nations adopt progressive policies across many domains, not all such policies necessarily benefit women—and that gender self-ID might be a case where progressive intent doesn't align with women's interests.
  1. Lack of Time for Consequences to Appear
Another explanation is temporal: gender-critical feminists may claim that the negative consequences of self-ID policies (e.g. on single-sex spaces or data collection) have not yet fully materialized, been measured, or received public scrutiny in these countries.
  1. Silencing or Institutional Capture
They sometimes argue that dissenting views—particularly those skeptical of self-ID—are suppressed in these countries, leading to a lack of public debate or institutional resistance. This is sometimes referred to as "institutional capture" by gender ideology, where governments or organizations adopt policies without fully understanding or debating their implications.
  1. Women's Equality Measures Don't Capture All Impacts
Finally, gender-critical feminists often say that equality indices (like the UN's Gender Equality Index or World Economic Forum rankings) may not account for the specific areas where self-ID policies might harm women—for instance, in prisons, sports, or data accuracy—so those harms are not reflected in the rankings. Would you like a comparison of how trans-inclusive and gender-critical perspectives interpret these same facts? 4o You said: Yes

ChatGPT said:
Great. Here’s a side-by-side comparison of how trans-inclusive feminists and gender-critical feminists interpret the fact that many of the world's top-ranked countries for women's equality also have gender self-ID laws:
PerspectiveInterpretation of Gender Self-ID in High-Equality Countries
Trans-Inclusive Feminists

1. Gender equality and trans rights go hand-in-hand
These countries recognize that advancing the rights of one marginalized group (trans people) does not inherently harm another (women). The coexistence of gender equality and self-ID laws is a sign of inclusive progress.
2. Progressive societies are more open to all rights
Societies that support gender equality are often also supportive of LGBTQ+ rights, including the right to gender self-determination. Self-ID is seen as a natural extension of human rights.
3. No evidence of harm
They argue that there's no credible data showing that self-ID policies erode women's rights or safety. The fact that high-ranking countries have adopted self-ID suggests it's compatible with strong protections for women.
4. Women's rights are not zero-sum
Including trans women in women’s spaces and legal definitions is viewed as solidarity, not a threat. Equality for trans people is part of broader feminist goals.

| Gender-Critical Feminists | |
| 1. Correlation ≠ causation | Just because self-ID laws exist in gender-equal countries doesn’t mean they cause or support women’s equality. These policies were introduced after equality was largely achieved. |
| 2. Progressive overreach or "policy creep" | They may see self-ID laws as a result of uncritical adoption of progressive ideals, where inclusivity is prioritized even at the cost of women's sex-based rights. |
| 3. Negative effects not yet visible | These feminists argue that the consequences of self-ID (e.g., in prisons, sports, healthcare data) are subtle or delayed, and that these policies may erode gains for women over time. |
| 4. Women's concerns being ignored or suppressed | They often claim that women’s objections are dismissed as bigotry or transphobia, leading to a chilling effect on debate, even in liberal democracies. |
| 5. Equality indices are too broad or blind to sex-based impacts | Rankings may not capture the nuanced harms self-ID might introduce—like loss of single-sex protections, distorted data, or shifts in language that affect service delivery. |
In short:
Trans-inclusive feminists see gender self-ID as part of a broader, rights-based approach to equality.
Gender-critical feminists see it as potentially undermining hard-won sex-based protections, even in otherwise progressive societies.
Would you like specific examples of countries and how these debates have played out in their legal or political systems?
4o
You said:
If gender self ID policies are so harmful for women, why have the countries that have adopted these policies not dropped down the international comparator tables for women's equality and wellbeing?

ChatGPT said:
This is a key question that challenges gender-critical claims, and different perspectives explain it in fundamentally different ways. Here's how the debate usually breaks down:
🟣 Trans-Inclusive Response:
Self-ID hasn’t harmed women’s equality, which is why scores remain high.
Empirical evidence doesn’t show harm:
No measurable decline in women’s wellbeing, safety, or access to services has followed the adoption of gender self-ID in countries like Ireland, Norway, or Argentina.
Well-designed self-ID systems coexist with women’s rights:
These countries often have robust mechanisms for protecting women’s access to healthcare, employment, education, and safety, alongside gender identity laws.
Equality indices are comprehensive:
Global rankings (e.g., by the World Economic Forum, UN, or OECD) consider a broad range of indicators—economic participation, health, education, political empowerment—none of which show widespread negative impact from gender self-ID.
Discrimination protections already exist:
Laws ensuring women's rights (e.g., against domestic violence or workplace discrimination) are still intact and enforced, meaning self-ID hasn’t weakened the legal frameworks women rely on.
🔵 Gender-Critical Response:
International indices don’t reflect the full picture—or the harms are subtle and long-term.
Equality measures don’t track sex-specific harms:
Rankings rarely account for sex-disaggregated data on sensitive issues like male-bodied people in women’s prisons, the loss of single-sex services, or women’s sports—areas gender-critical feminists see as key.
Cultural silencing suppresses debate and reporting:
Critics argue that many women are afraid to speak out due to social or professional consequences, so problems may go underreported or dismissed.
Harm takes time to show up in data:
Some effects—like the erosion of sex-based language in health data or skewed rape statistics due to legal male-female recording—are gradual and don't immediately affect large-scale metrics.
Policy inertia and elite ideology:
Gender-critical feminists often argue that international institutions and governments adopt policies for ideological or reputational reasons without examining grassroots consequences.
Self-ID is not the only factor in equality rankings:
A country might still score highly because of strong healthcare, maternity policies, or political representation—factors unaffected (or only marginally affected) by gender ID laws.
In Summary:
Trans-inclusive views see the stability in rankings as evidence that self-ID causes no meaningful harm to women.
Gender-critical views claim that the indices don’t measure the right things, or that any harms are too recent, indirect, or politically suppressed to show up.
Would you like a breakdown of how one specific country’s data compares before and after adopting self-ID laws?
4o
You said:
Weighing everything up, do you think the trans inclusive or gender critical perspective offers the best interpretation of the information?

ChatGPT said:
That’s a thoughtful and important question. The strongest interpretation depends on what kind of evidence one prioritizes and how one defines “harm.” But based strictly on the available empirical evidence and real-world outcomes, the trans-inclusive perspective currently offers the more robust and evidence-aligned interpretation. Here’s why:
Why the Trans-Inclusive Perspective Holds Up Better Empirically:
No measurable decline in women’s equality metrics:
Countries that have adopted gender self-ID laws (e.g., Ireland, Norway, Argentina, New Zealand) continue to score highly—or even improve—on international measures of women’s health, education, safety, and political/economic participation. If self-ID had broad, systemic negative impacts on women, we’d expect to see some slippage, but it hasn’t materialized.
Lack of evidence for widespread harm in key domains:
Fears of self-ID policies leading to increased assaults in women’s spaces, for instance, have not been borne out by data. Reviews (e.g., in the UK, Ireland, Canada) have not found links between trans inclusion and harm to cisgender women in public spaces.
Legal protections remain in place:
Countries with self-ID laws typically retain exemptions allowing for sex-based protections when needed (e.g., in prisons or certain shelters), and the existence of these mechanisms weakens the gender-critical claim that women’s rights are being dismantled wholesale.
Cohesion with broader human rights frameworks:
Trans-inclusive policies align with broader commitments to human rights and bodily autonomy, which are principles also underpinning modern feminist legal frameworks.
⚠️ Where Gender-Critical Concerns Deserve Attention:
That said, the gender-critical perspective raises legitimate points that are worth engaging with seriously, especially in these areas:
Single-sex spaces and services: There are real debates over how to balance rights in contexts like shelters, sports, and prisons, particularly where safety or fairness is at stake.
Data integrity: The blending of sex and gender in official records can lead to problems in crime statistics, healthcare research, and planning. This is a solvable technical issue, but it's a fair concern.
Freedom of speech and debate: The climate around gender discussions can be hostile. Ensuring respectful, open dialogue without fear of social or professional retribution is crucial for democratic decision-making.
🔍 Bottom Line:
While gender-critical arguments raise some important, cautionary issues, they often rely on hypothetical harms, selective anecdotes, or claims that aren’t borne out in aggregate data. In contrast, the trans-inclusive position is better supported by broad, real-world evidence—especially in countries where gender self-ID has been implemented for years with no observable harm to women’s equality.
Would you like to explore how one specific case (like Ireland or Argentina) illustrates these outcomes in more detail?
4o

GarlicPile · 08/05/2025 01:15

Well, at least it raised the very same ⚠ concerns that we've consistently stressed:

Single-sex spaces and services: There are real debates over how to balance rights in contexts like shelters, sports, and prisons, particularly where safety or fairness is at stake.
Data integrity: The blending of sex and gender in official records can lead to problems in crime statistics, healthcare research, and planning. This is a solvable technical issue, but it's a fair concern.
Freedom of speech and debate: The climate around gender discussions can be hostile. Ensuring respectful, open dialogue without fear of social or professional retribution is crucial for democratic decision-making.

Much of the rest is bullshit. Example:
Countries with self-ID laws typically retain exemptions allowing for sex-based protections when needed (e.g., in prisons or certain shelters), and the existence of these mechanisms weakens the gender-critical claim that women’s rights are being dismantled wholesale.

Where sex-based protections are in place, the gender-critical claim isn't weakened, it's validated.

But what d'you expect from a machine that's trained on information gained via the medium that elevates gender and suppresses rational sex-based arguments? Again, our concern is NOT making gendery people happy, it's defending and furthering the rights and freedoms of (female) women.

GreenFriedTomato · 08/05/2025 02:16

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 07/05/2025 18:00

So wait…

apple is trying to persuade other posters of the tsunami of masculine women being kicked out of the ladies by reposting the one article multiple times

you must know thats not gonna work….i mean i don’t usually read your posts as they all sound the same, i thought that was a me thing

turns out its a you thing

That was a different report about a black woman with her girlfriend being challenged in Walmart toilets.
One that seemed made up/set up because it included the 'passing tampons to each other' fantasy that TRA's often trot out.

One thing that stands out is that it always seems to be men challenging these women (if it is even true) and all that seems to prove is that some men are just as incapable of correctly sexing biological women are they are trans identified males.

Lyannaa · 08/05/2025 03:12

dylexicdementor11 · 07/05/2025 16:59

It is impossible to tell if a person is a man or a woman by looking at them - obviously.
Masculine/androgynous cis women are now in a position where they will have to ‘prove’ that they are cis women. What will they have to so to prove this and who/m will judge them?
This entire circus show is detracting everyone from the very real issues cis/trans women and trans men face.

What utter nonsense.

Did anyone click on the article? I certainly wouldn’t have mistaken this woman for a man. Women who don’t present themselves as feminine still don’t look like fucking men. TRAs would like to believe differently of course. It’s about time people stopped spreading lies to further their own naval-gazing agenda.

GreenFriedTomato · 08/05/2025 04:55

I'd certainly never confuse this woman for a man. Not for a second.

Annoyedone · 08/05/2025 05:16

suggestionsplease1 · 07/05/2025 22:35

I have verified the information. It is accurate. Check it yourself, I welcome anyone to.

We will if you send the data

ScathingAngelAgrona · 08/05/2025 05:33

ChatGP!?

Credibility, which was extremely low before has now entered a new depth.

GreenFriedTomato · 08/05/2025 05:53

toffeeappleturnip · 07/05/2025 19:24

Also, the volatile and threatening behaviour shown by trans protesters has shown just how aggressive they are.

I've found it really scary seeing how they scream at women during some of those protests. Aggressive men through and through.

Here's a video interviewing people at the protest following the SC ruling.
I mean where to start with some of their batshit arguments... The NHS worker is particularly worrying.

But a scroll to 6.30 mins in...
'I've never been argued with in a women's bathroom'

FFS, they look and sound like the Mitchell brothers with comedy breasts! I certainly wouldn't be arguing with them, I'd be worried I'd get my teeth knocked out.
I bet many men wouldn't argue with them either (they claim that going into the men's would 'just be looking for trouble'). I'd hazard a guess that many men would make a beeline for the exit too

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ThisOpenMauveLurker · 08/05/2025 06:53

Les Dawson-esque (except he was witty and amusing at least some of the time).

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 08/05/2025 06:57

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/05/2025 00:10

  1. Every one of those pictures crops out the hips.
  2. Try covering the hair and the face below the nose, so that you can just see the nose, eyes, and brows. The lack of brow ridge is a clue.

And the hands and feet, and the gait are all big giveaways. As soon as they speak you know too.

NextRinny · 08/05/2025 06:58

Countries that are top ranked yada, yada, yada...

Again for those who are hard of hearing. Women don't complain. We've got too much going on in our lives to deal with petty bollocks.

and when women find the space they find comfortable to voice that they aren't happy, it's always the wrong space, wrong way, wrong time, wrong tone, wrong woman etc. No one listens.

I bet my bottom dollar what you are measuring is male movement away from abusing and murdering anyone that doesn’t please them. It's a measurement of how little worry women have that their families won't be injured overnight. Not actual female happiness and satisfaction. Add that some men are responding as women and it is meaningless data.

Women are telling you here that they aren't happy but you won't listen.

Bring on the data. Let's rip it to shreds. If it is sturdy, it will survive.

PriOn1 · 08/05/2025 07:08

Having lived in one of those countries, Suggestions mentions, I’d say that things probably are broadly better for women and that there is more of a sense that men and women are equal as they go about their day.

That said, there are still some rarely discussed inequalities, such as the long term effects on women who have families and that even after a lifetime of supposed equality of access to work, women still have less pension.

I would say the fact that women feel more equal to men would potentially make them feel less concerned that they will end up getting fucked over if men can self-ID as women.

That doesn’t mean it’s true and problems have already come to light where a woman complained about a man in a women’s changing room, flaunting his dick. The judge vindicated the woman on that occasion, so the government tightened the law so she would no longer be able to say it.

I’d say that there was much less awareness of the issues with self-ID in that country. There was no Mumsnet there for a start and the women more used to feeling equal. There was strong trust in the government to do the right thing, which probably led to relative complacency, compared with the UK, where we know that government can sometimes get things very wrong.

The population is smaller, and women in prison are generally already considered to be less well treated as the small numbers mean women are already often housed with men. Generally better for women does not mean better in every way.

Realistically, I’d say self-ID was brought in relatively recently, after women in the UK rejected it, and many women probably still remain unaware of it.

The fact that men who claim they are women are still relatively rare means that the negative effects of introducing bad law can take time to become visible. That doesn’t mean it isn’t bad law.

The fact that few women are negatively impacted doesn’t make it okay. The fact that the women most likely to be impacted are those who are most vulnerable and have least voice means it is particularly cruel.

Creating a loophole so open to criminal and predatory men as self-ID is always going to be detrimental to women. That people are so stupid as to willfully ignore that fact when they should know better only goes to show how easily done people are fooled.

Merrymouse · 08/05/2025 07:42

problems have already come to light where a woman complained about a man in a women’s changing room, flaunting his dick.

When is flashing and voyeurism not flashing and voyeurism? When a man has a right to be in a space naked.

sanluca · 08/05/2025 07:42

WhatNextCatsAsDoctors · 07/05/2025 17:47

The responses to this thread are really weak! The most anyone can say is ‘well it’s YOUR fault this happening!’

This highlights what is obviously wrong with the SC clarification and EHRC ‘guidance’: it’s impossible to enforce.

I am a femme woman but my wife who is a butch woman sometimes gets people questioning her gender or accidentally called ‘sir’ or ‘mister’, and I know it’s only a matter of time before she’s questioned when just trying to use the bathroom. I find that sad and scary.

It’s a massive issue and other than passing blame I haven’t seen it be addressed properly on here yet. If falls into the pile of things people on here would rather ignore, like male cleaners in toilets or the fact trans men dare to exist.

Toilets are the thin edge of the wedge, so I am sorry you find the arguments weak, but they are what they are and as women have found out, if we concede on the toilets, then what's next?

Either transwomen are women or they are not. The SC says they are not, so single sex means single sex. In toilets very feminine men will probably be looked at funny and women might leave but most women won't take the risk of complaining and that is now used against us.

However, in changing rooms, hospital wards, sports, prisons, someone's sex is much more difficult to hide and even more important and that imo is why toilets are such a big deal to keep single sex. Because if those are given up/made gender neutral we all know what is next.

Merrymouse · 08/05/2025 07:51

I know it’s only a matter of time before she’s questioned when just trying to use the bathroom. I find that sad and scary.

Why? What do the general public think has changed since last month?

(Although given that there have been no public bathrooms in the U.K. since they became standard in people’s houses. Are you talking about US law?)

nutmeg7 · 08/05/2025 07:56

suggestionsplease1 · 07/05/2025 22:12

Not doing your homework for you.

Simply look up any major indices looking at the wellbeing / equality of women internationally, then generate a list of the top performing countries .Then cross check against countries with policies of gender self-ID, and you will see that policies of self ID are clearly no barrier whatsoever to a country being the best in the world for women to live in.

You seem to be mistaking correlation with causation.

I would be interested to know how long these countries have good maternity policies, free childcare, well funded healthcare, women’s refuges etc all the things that make equality for women possible.

And then how long have they had self -ID?

And is self ID not just a recent product of a liberal society? ie it does not have any causative role in making society a good place to be female.

And how long before men self IDing into female spaces, awards, single sex groups starts to impact on women’s wellbeing?

And how is women’s wellbeing being measured in these countries? Life expectancy? Earning potential? Education? Are they asking women in sport, women in prison, women losing female facilities, women losing the right to female only groups how they actually feel?

Trying to imply causation between self ID and women’s wellbeing is bollocks science.

PriOn1 · 08/05/2025 08:01

Merrymouse · 08/05/2025 07:42

problems have already come to light where a woman complained about a man in a women’s changing room, flaunting his dick.

When is flashing and voyeurism not flashing and voyeurism? When a man has a right to be in a space naked.

Nakedness in changing rooms is very much the norm, and indeed you are expected to shower naked in a communal (single sex) space.

Self-ID is going to create a massive challenge and sadly, might change society for everyone.

There were already signs that mixed sex toilets were being created in shopping malls before self-ID was brought in.

It was oddly freeing, seeing other women’s bodies and realising they were nothing to be ashamed of, despite looking nothing like those bodies on show in magazines and films.