Page 12 | Hahahaha!!!!

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:17

I think murasaki was taking the piss.

Although, I agree, sometimes it's difficult to tell. Which is perhaps why we do need a day of visibility for taking the piss. 😃

murasaki · 09/04/2025 12:18

AstonScrapingsNameChange · 09/04/2025 12:17

Ah sorry - it's so difficult to tell these days what is serious and what is tongue in cheek!

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Haha, yes it is, which is crazy!

SirChenjins · 09/04/2025 12:18

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:16

You can ignore it if you wish.
I can choose to learn about something new
So visibility days are good for raising awareness.

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Only if you believe we should label people as asexual from a young age, rather than focusing on healthy relationships which take many different forms.

murasaki · 09/04/2025 12:19

I clearly need to work harder on the semiotics of taking the piss!

Soontobe60 · 09/04/2025 12:20

user9637 · 08/04/2025 16:50

Most Asexuals are probably post menopausal women…. Sooo should we all jump on the band wagon too? 😈

Or people who were prescribed puberty blockers and cross sex hormones ironically

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:20

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 09/04/2025 12:14

You literally need to take a chill pill, your over active imagination is causing you to talk a load of clap trap. There are not millions of people committing suicide because someone took the piss out of them. Your emotional incontinent ramblings are likely to cause more harm than a bit of humour. Get a grip.

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Just because there's probably not "literally millions" of people committing suicide over being bullied/made fun of, doesn't mean there aren't lots of people around the world who are
Way to ignore the point though, and dismiss people's suffering and pretend it doesn't happen.
With a snipey, nasty post to another poster, just why? To make yourself feel better?

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:21

murasaki · 09/04/2025 12:19

I clearly need to work harder on the semiotics of taking the piss!

I wasn't sure, until I read the word 'mild'.

It's mad, isn't it?

it's absolutely crazy that several women genuinely believe that someone would take offence and claim millions of lives have been lost to piss taking.

don't get me wrong, I know taking the piss can sometimes be hurtful.

But it's not really about that. It's about resilience and recovery from offensive stuff.

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:22

SirChenjins · 09/04/2025 12:18

Only if you believe we should label people as asexual from a young age, rather than focusing on healthy relationships which take many different forms.

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Why should they have to focus on healthy relationships though if the point is they don't want one?!
Seriously beginning to understand why they want a day of awareness now lol

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:23

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:22

Why should they have to focus on healthy relationships though if the point is they don't want one?!
Seriously beginning to understand why they want a day of awareness now lol

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Healthy relationships don't have to be sexual

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 09/04/2025 12:24

Soontobe60 · 09/04/2025 12:17

Utter nonsense. People who don’t want to have sex are no more “at risk” than anyone else. They just have a victim complex if they claim a “speshul identity”.

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so you can’t become asexual…you have to be asexual from birth or something

i asked this earlier…maybe you could give your opinion?

AstonScrapingsNameChange · 09/04/2025 12:24

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/04/2025 12:13

I don’t k ow why I feel like I am nothing, but that is how I have felt around my sexuality, like I am broken and defective. So much value is put on finding a partner and having children, I feel like because I haven’t been able to do that people see me as less than. I feel like people assume there must be something awful about me which is why I’m not in a relationship and why the few relationships I had were so toxic. I feel like a life without ever having a positive long term relationship is seen as less and inferior. I feel like this because of the reactions I get from people due to being single, especially from straight married women. I feel like I’m seen as less of a woman because I don’t have a relationship and that I’m seen as missing out on something integral to being human because I don’t experience or enjoy sexual desire. Again, this is how people have made me feel. There are situations where you can be asked to state your sexuality and it does feel isolating not to have one, to not know what to tick on the form, that’s what I mean by being nothing. If you’re not gay, straight or bisexual and there’s no other option then what are you other than nothing? Or ‘prefer not to say’ which is what I usually go with, but it’s not really true I wouldn’t mind saying if I was included. Maybe though it’s not something that can be understood if you haven’t experienced it, as far as I can tell everybody on this thread who thinks recognising asexuality is ridiculous has no personal experience and thinks mine is as ridiculous as the label so I don’t really know what more I can say.

That said, I don’t personally feel like I need a special day as such (and as I said previously in the thread didn’t realise that such a day existed until this thread) but I do think there would be positives in asexuality being recognised because whether you wish to believe it or not it can be isolating when you don’t feel sexual attraction towards others, maybe it’s not as noticeable when you haven’t lived this just how much of society and culture actually is built around having sexual desires and relationships and so maybe it’s impossible for those who are not asexual to really understand how not experiencing those things can feel as significant as it does to me. Maybe this is why some asexual people do want their own day to come together because it seems it isn’t something other people are willing or able to understand or empathise with.

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I appreciate your reply as i didn't express myself as well as I could have and didn't mean to sound rude.

i'm sorry that you have felt like that. I have been single (single parent actually) and have felt similarly that I'm the odd one out and that people think it's a bit weird.

Isn't that more about being single, than being asexual, per se?

It is shitty that society is set up for couples and pressures people (especially kids) to have relationships and sex. But I don't think that's about asexuality in particular.

Original poster

DialSquare · 09/04/2025 12:25

But it's not really about that. It's about resilience and recovery from offensive stuff.

Exactly. I can give it out but I can also take it. Life’s too short to take everything so seriously all of the time. Must be fucking exhausting.

OP posts:

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:25

don't get me wrong, I know taking the piss can sometimes be hurtful
But it's not really about that. It's about resilience and recovery from offensive stuff

You sound like the sort of shit you get off blokes sometimes.

"What, can't you take a joke, luv? Should be able to take it better, be resilient and bounce back FFS!"

🙄

Soontobe60 · 09/04/2025 12:25

Oh dear!
you do realise that throughout every human being’s life, they will have periods of time when they could claim to be “asexual”? It’s not an identity, it’s a normal state of being for everyone to some extent. That’s why some of us think it’s pretty pathetic to think it’s something to celebrate.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/04/2025 12:26

MarieDeGournay · 09/04/2025 11:59

I'm very sorry that you experienced such difficult times and had relationships that were abusive [described in your previous post] ,nobody should go through that.

The fact that you felt forced to go into toxic sexual relationships although you were not sexually attracted to your partners is awful.

I wrote in a previous post about the pressure on really young teenagers to be sexually active. In a different social context, the younger 'you' might not have felt that it was either expected or normal to have sexual encounters 'just because', or to prove something to yourself or others.

Teenage years are a time of questioning and should be ring-fenced as a time when you don't have to make up your mind for the rest of your life. That might mean teenagers thinking they want to have sex with boys, girls, both or neither; but there should be no pressure to do, or not to do, anything with anybody until they are old enough to make a considered choice.

Would you agree that it would be much easier for asexual people if there was less pressure, and less normalisation about being sexually active at a very young age? Maybe that's why being asexual in the past was no big deal - there wasn't the same expectation that everybody would be at it like rabbits sexually active from an early age.

I don't recognise a social context (well, not a grown-up one anyway) in which people are frequently asked about their sexual orientation, are obliged to give an answer rather than tick the 'prefer not to say' box, are asked what celebrity they fancy..
It sounds like school, TBH, not the adult world.

It sounds like you've found your groove, MolkosTeenageAngst, and I wish you well in living your life the way you want to.

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Of course it would be easier if there were less pressure to have sex as a teen, but it goes beyond sex as well. As an adult the pressure is more to be in a relationship, nobody really cares whether I’m having sex or not, what they’re interested in is why I’m not in a relationship or why I’m not married.

I’m surprised you don’t recognise any adult situations where you were asked to disclose sexuality, I’ve not long moved and joined a new doctors surgery and dentist and both asked me to state my sexual orientation as part of the form. Asexual was not listed on either. I went on a night out with a group of work colleagues last week and there was a discussion about Married At First Sight Australia and who everybody thought was most attractive within the couples, the conversation then turned to whether tattoos and a gym body type look are attractive on men. This was a group of women aged 30-50s and not a hugely uncommon topic of conversation when on work nights out. Maybe they are a particularly unusual group, I don’t know, but I do find relationships and physical attractiveness are a typical area of discussion with them.

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:27

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:23

Healthy relationships don't have to be sexual

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What if they don't want to be in a relationship full stop?!
Sexual or not?! People can be happy never feeling any desire and happy in their own company.

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:27

DialSquare · 09/04/2025 12:25

But it's not really about that. It's about resilience and recovery from offensive stuff.

Exactly. I can give it out but I can also take it. Life’s too short to take everything so seriously all of the time. Must be fucking exhausting.

And I think it's leveraged.

No one who has read anything from JKR would think she's not one of the most compassionate woman on the planet.

To me it's all faux offence in order to have a go at her. But it only works if you can use things like piss taking as something heinous.

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 09/04/2025 12:28

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:20

Just because there's probably not "literally millions" of people committing suicide over being bullied/made fun of, doesn't mean there aren't lots of people around the world who are
Way to ignore the point though, and dismiss people's suffering and pretend it doesn't happen.
With a snipey, nasty post to another poster, just why? To make yourself feel better?

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No, to express my disgust at such unhinged ranting, gross exaggeration is why things are so polarised. It's emotional blackmail and an attempt to shut everyone who doesn't agree up.

Beowulfa · 09/04/2025 12:29

I feel like a life without ever having a positive long term relationship is seen as less and inferior. I feel like this because of the reactions I get from people due to being single, especially from straight married women.

Helen Fielding was writing about Bridget Jones having to endure the Smug Marrieds in 1997; Jane Austen's entire literary output revolves around the plot point of getting married, ideally before the ancient age of Anne Elliott (27). I'm the eldest grandchild and had to endure my cousin's in your face wedding in my mid twenties "your cousin's married, she's younger than you and you don't even have a boyfriend".

I'm afraid that being judged for being single and childless is the lot of women, regardless of sexuality. Oh, my cousin ended the marriage after 6 months while my uncle was still paying off The Big Day.

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:29

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:27

What if they don't want to be in a relationship full stop?!
Sexual or not?! People can be happy never feeling any desire and happy in their own company.

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I think the point is about healthy relationships, if they don't have to be anything other than friends, coworkers, people in your dance class, your bridge partner, clients, etc.

It's not the choice between a sexual relationship, or an intimate relationship that has no sex in it.

murasaki · 09/04/2025 12:29

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 09/04/2025 12:28

No, to express my disgust at such unhinged ranting, gross exaggeration is why things are so polarised. It's emotional blackmail and an attempt to shut everyone who doesn't agree up.

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Thank for your insight. Hilariously incorrect although I applaud your hyperbolic language, which was exactly the kind of thing I was mocking.

SirChenjins · 09/04/2025 12:30

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:22

Why should they have to focus on healthy relationships though if the point is they don't want one?!
Seriously beginning to understand why they want a day of awareness now lol

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Oh dear god. I will repeat, relationships take many different forms. Sexual partners, marriages, long term friendships, recent friendships, colleagues, employers, acquaintances, etc etc etc. They are all relationships. Unless you live alone in a cave you will have relationships with others to some extent - and most won't involve sex.

Datun · 09/04/2025 12:31

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 09/04/2025 12:25

don't get me wrong, I know taking the piss can sometimes be hurtful
But it's not really about that. It's about resilience and recovery from offensive stuff

You sound like the sort of shit you get off blokes sometimes.

"What, can't you take a joke, luv? Should be able to take it better, be resilient and bounce back FFS!"

🙄

Proving my point really.

Greyskybluesky · 09/04/2025 12:34

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 09/04/2025 12:28

No, to express my disgust at such unhinged ranting, gross exaggeration is why things are so polarised. It's emotional blackmail and an attempt to shut everyone who doesn't agree up.

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murasaki was joking in that post, in order to illustrate the exact point you are also making

JustSpeculation · 09/04/2025 12:35

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/04/2025 11:21

I think for me it’s because it’s bigger than just not wanting sex, it’s not experiencing any sexual attraction at all to anybody. That’s probably what makes me feel more different than just not wanting sex, it’s when people have conversations about which celebrity they fancy or point out somebody attractive etc and I have no point of reference for what it feels like to fancy somebody or find somebody attractive. It’s hard when people ask which celebrity you fancy to say ‘oh, I don’t fancy anybody, ever, and never have.’ I don’t find being celibate the most isolating or difficult thing about being asexual and for me asexuality is not really about the fact I don’t want or have sex. Maybe it’s something though that other people can’t understand, I don’t know, certainly it seems there are a lot of people on here who are not asexual who seem very determined to tell me exactly how I should think and feel about my sexuality rather than to listen to my actual experiences and maybe consider them before deciding for me asexuality is bullshit and irrelevant.

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Maybe it’s something though that other people can’t understand

It may well be. I can't imagine it myself, in the same way as I can't imagine being tone deaf or colourblind. That is, I can intellectually understand it, but I don't have any way of knowing what it's like to be so. I realise I have assumed that asexuality in this sense is equal to not having or recognising sexual urges, which it might not be. However, assumptions are all I have to go on. I did some quick Googling, and it certainly seems to be distinct from celibacy. Anyway, thanks for the answer. Food for thought.