My 14 year old daughter has been sharing school changing rooms, including swimming, with a male. The school never told me, or her. What would you do?

[SernieBanders]

I believe this to be a failure of safeguarding and a risk to every female in the school.

I do not believe the school can give consent in any way, all children are under the age of 16, so they cannot either.

The school in question has adopted the Brighton Trans Inclusion Toolkit which actively encourages males and females to share spaces, including sleeping, without any supervision. They also have unisex toilets.

For the record, I believe all gender questioning children should be given full, dignified support for their schooling. However their needs do not supersede safeguarding and dignity of all female pupils.

What would you do? What legislation, guidance, rules would you quote to them? Straight to governors? The police? What?

@JustAskingThisQ I'm not sure I can quite believe what I'm reading here. Girls have a right to privacy, dignity and safety when they are changing in a school and that means same sex facilities. Sexuality has nothing to do with it. I would rather get undressed in from of lesbian friends than gay male friends and I know many women feel the same. However it does not matter how we as individual adults may or may not feel. It's not up to us to override the rights and protections afforded to girls.

Interesting because I read an article recently that said abuse and sexual assault/coercion are present at about the same rates in queer teens/young people (can't remember the exact phrasing) and their straight counterparts

So because Brighton is progressive’, men are permitted into any changing rooms, toilets without any recourse, and the women have to accept it meekly. What utter poppycock! !

You're not going to believe this but -

The council update the guidance last week - it's now worse, but has been reworded to avoid legal challenge.

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/24862869.brighton-hove-reviews-trans-inclusion-schools-toolkit/

It probably is if you compare straight males to gay males and straight females to gay females

Males are the problem. I can see that.

It’s not all about ‘attacking’ someone or even ‘objectifying’ someone.
Single sex spaces are to afford women and girls privacy and dignity. Think of women and girls with a history of being abused, religious women. And women who just want to get changed or dressed without boys/men in the room FFS.
It’s really not difficult to grasp; although it seems to be.
We’ve had the shout of ‘transphobia’ the shout of ‘but lesbians…..’
Whats next- ‘ men who want to assault, etc etc will do so anyway’ blah blah
I’m really getting sick of it

Okay that's your preference but are you sure everyone feels the same? I strongly believe most of the young people today would see said young person as a teenage girl the same as them and wouldn't feel threatened at all.

I also know people who would feel differently about getting naked in front of someone of the same sex who is homosexual and would feel they have the right to know and protect themselves from being viewed sexually by them

No it actually highlighted the staggering reports of abuse specifically in lesbian relationships. Google it and you'll see.

Ignore @heyhopotato
This is one of their recent replies on a mostly very entertaining thread:

it's a hotbed of hate here.

I try to be around to balance it out

I think they see themselves as a bit of a disruptor, but always just sound like a sarky snarky teenager.

So if someone felt that getting naked in front of women who may be attracted to them is undignified, would you support a space that is heterosexual women only?

I think.cublicles could solve all this without the hysteria

being the most socially progressive city

There is absolutely nothing progressive about trans @heyhopotato

It's the absolute opposite

It is regressive and has set women's rights back decades.

Oh good grief
It doesn’t matter whether the girls see the trans-identifying person as the same as them (though if that’s your belief that’s exactly what it is; a belief)
It wouldn’t matter if 27 girls would share your beliefs- if there’s one that doesn’t, then no boys allowed.

socially progressive?
To tell girls about consent in one class,
and then show the girls they have no rights,
that it is their responsaiblilty obey and submit to the will of the men around them.
and its their fault if they are subjected to sexual offence
and public shaming for failure to comply..

That's ...... progressive..🙄

Mainly our non-trans children are being taught to shut up and keep their heads down. Do not dare to speak.

The LQBTQ can be as loud and proud as they like. Can speak critically of others because somehow they have the right to say what they like on behalf of all the “oppressed” with which they are kindred. Like gay says : ”hey white girl, you are looking sexy!” - At school! Straight boys can’t say this. Racist, sexualised talk .

”They” can feel UNsafe, but you and your daughter cannot.

Women are being shushed and cancelled. For this one topic, I wish some Trump influences UK gender politics.

At my child’s school, a boy was dressing like a schoolgirl porn actress. School uniform modification- Short skirt, tight top tied in front, platform shoes & bright make up. He was not trans, just gay and being gay sexy. Was 100% allowed for while… a girl going this would have been sent home.

Definitely two tiers.

Doesn’t sound like they’ve taken Cass into account!

Would you feel the same about someone who wants a homosexual student to be isolated for changing times?

I am not even saying I disagree, I just think these arguments can be extended to homosexuality, too.

Take out the word Trans for a minute. It might make things easier for you to understand

A teenage boy pretending to be a teenage girl is still a teenage boy. That boy should not be allowed to get naked with 14 year old girls before a swimming lesson.

And that's the end of it for anybody of sane mind.

What about religious girls whose faiths don't permit them to see naked male body parts?

Are they not to participate in the exercise/sport at school?

What about religious girls who shouldn't be viewed sexually by anyone, but especially in the context of a same sex relationship?

OP I suspect your daughter might be in the same school as my DC. I've complained about the toolkit to Caroline Lucas when she was MP and got the brush off from her years ago.
Rest assured that you are definitely not the only parent in the school to think this policy is dangerous. I've not taken my complaint any further because it doesn't affect my children (both boys and I'm confident they would protect any trans kid in their changing room, whether male or female) but they should not have to put up with teachers' political activism, SLT with poor critical thinking skills or gaslighting - and this toolkit requires all three.
Hope you fight this and win.
And to the poster asking why people in Brighton can't question the batshittery of the local council, have a word with yourself. We live here because we love it and yep, we're progressive and proud of it... this nonsense toolkit isn't progressive - it's just stupid and it will harm trans kids as much as anyone.

I couldn’t agree more.

It’s not just Brighton as it’s happening at my son’s school too - in fact when we went for the open evening all the staff were banging on about how proud they are of their unisex toilets. Fucking idiots of the highest order - and these are seemingly educated people.

I think someone who isn't attracted to said gender is unlikely to attack said gender, hence my asking whether the student concerned is attracted to females

Violent males don't discriminate you fool.

This is all in the context of school changing rooms which are at least semi supervised.

Even worse. Female teachers supervising a naked teenage male, and therefore also male teachers supervising naked teen females.

@JustAskingThisQ why were single sex spaces invented in the first place?

I strongly believe most of the young people today would see said young person as a teenage girl the same as them and wouldn't feel threatened at all

Young people are not the best judge of safeguarding themselves, asp from their peers. That's why adults are needed.

You just misgendered her.

So did I (here) but I accept that I'm 'transphobic' by currently fashionable definition. What's your excuse?