Trapped in the Trans world

[trappedbytrans]

Have done a name change for reasons that will be obvious.

I work in a civil society organisation where being pro-trans is religion. Not a single person is GC and to be honest when I joined I was totally with them. TWAW, TRAHR repeat to fade.

Reality and common sense has gone to me. I'm seeing healthy women in our organisation (staff not clients, we don't have clients as such) having mastectomies and changing pronouns. We even have one person who has to tell us their pronouns each morning as they are likely to change at least once each day.

I am in a very senior role and I could blow the doors off if I quit and went public. The problem is that I would be unemployable in a field where I am a national leader / expert, and I would lose 80% of my friends (we are a very pro-social organisation and network).

So that's it. I'm not here for advice (though that would be welcome!) but more to express my tiredness and frustration at my situation. I guess I'm hoping that more people blow the doors off and eventually I am forced to escape with a fat redundancy package.

I think there must be a lot of trans people who feel like this. And don’t like that the whole issue has been taken over by men who want society to think that they’re literally women.

Whats GC TWAW, TRAHR ??

Start a secret blog or go on X under a pseudonym. Write about all the nonsense. If it's possible to name the organisation/public sector department without putting yourself at personal risk then do it.

Not only will it be very cathartic, you'll be performing a public service. It doesn't seem to have done Katherine Burbalsingh any harm.

gender critical
trans women are women
trans rights are human rights

the latter two being de rigeur at any protest in favour of trans rights.

op could you look at moving to an org that is not as captured and focuses on the lgb?

Please don’t ignore your better judgement any more OP

The group think has become a sickness, and it’s damaging many young women

I hope you can find away to start making small changes, and that colleagues slowly catch on.

I’m sure you’re FAR from the only one!!

Well said! 👏👏👏👏

Ohh... sometimes I really wish I didn't know... 🥲

GC: gender critical
TWAW: trans women are women
TRAHR: trans rights are human rights

OP I don't think I could live with the kind of chaos people like Alex bring to the workplace and (I work for a charity) couldn't work for an organisation who's mission was fundamentally different to my beliefs. If you can get a new job and blow some doors off on your way out then please do it.

I'm a parent of a DC who has had poor mental health (most likely anxiety and depression) and, after spending too long on discord during lockdown, came to the conclusion there was something wrong with his body that taking hormones could sort out. I can't tell you what a shit show it is trying to navigate this stuff with a young adult who's been groomed online when the NHS isn't fit for purpose because it, and other organisations that should know better, have been captured. If you don't stand against this bollocks then you're actively supporting it. That's before you consider the impact on women's rights.

I couldn't do it, I couldn't stay once the scales fell. But I have a brother who has been damaged by gender woo.

And to a pp who says surgery helps: not in my experience. My DB was a confused, mentally unstable gay man. Now he is a confused, mentally unstable gay man sans genitals. I am so fucking angry that this is happening to our loved ones and we are meant to respond with cheers and grins. No.

A) I bet 75 per cent of the women you work with are secretly GC or sharing your concerns

B) Don't blow the doors off your career and your life over other adults' choices . Just find a new job in a setting that doesn't make you want to scream

Also - what doors can you blow off if you don't have clients? People know this is happening. As you're talking about staff presumably they're adults making these choices. Doesn't seem like there's anything to expose if there's nobody leaning on them professionally?

Unless you saying people feel bullied into becoming trans/NB to keep their jobs?

She can look & feel however she likes & can do what she likes to her body, clothes etc. She can call herself a he or refer to herself however she chooses and that should not affect her rights to be treated fairly & like any man or woman.

What she can't do is change into or become a man. You cannot change sex.

The issue here is plain. If you work in an environment where 95% of the workforce believe in the existence of god and finish every other sentence with "thank god" or "god willing" or whatever other utterance affirms their opinion that god exists, should you be forced to do the same or get burned at the stake for being a heretic?

Essentially that is baked into "being kind" and using preferred pronouns when you don't believe in gender identity.

Would a transgender atheist be happy to work in such a place (as above) and on a daily basis affirm a belief in God that they do not actually hold?

Now, I'm not sure how we move forward from that because transgender people should of course face no discrimination* in the workplace but at the same time others shouldn't have to put themselves in constant cognitive dissonance at work either.

*It could be perceived that discrimination exists if gender dysphoria triggered by "misidentification" were a guaranteed occupational hazard.

No, it's like working in a cake shop where they claim that everyone should exclusively eat cake, that cake is the only healthy food and that anyone who doesn't like cake and tell other people that they should be eating cake is a bigot and should be cancelled.

Or just maybe I’m gonna stretch this out a little bit maybe she is really trans and has gender dysphoria and actually feels a damn site better being a man.

She's not being a man though is she? She's just a woman who's had a mastectomy and has managed to grow a half assed moustache. What exactly about that counts as "being a man"?

Are you suggesting that trans people don't respect disabled people's rights? That would be ironic.

We fought long and hard for adapted facilities, they are for disabled people and not for able-bodied people, trans or not trans. Respecting that is respecting disability rights, not 'appeasement'.

What part of that do you and your trans friend disagree with?

There is only the Alliance that is LGB alone and that has a staff. There are 200+ organisations that are 'with the T' and that have staff.

😂 There is no way on earth that you are the only one not on board with this nonsense!

Right. You work in a pro-trans organisation at a senior level, but you're actually personally against it all, view your colleagues with contempt and could damage the organisation if you went public. But you want to hang on to your status and a nice fat payoff when the time comes.
Which group did you want support or advice from? Because you're literally shitting on everyone from what you've said. My advice would be stop behaving like a cowardly hypocrite who is both promoting 'gender ideology' and also despises the trans identified people around you, but likes the career status and cash.
I've not the slightest sympathy for you and I can't imagine anyone would, whatever their viewpoint, unless they were the sort of person who liked to bitch about colleagues with a select group of mean-girl friends.

The vast majority of what the organisation does supports gay, bi, and lesbian young people, works to tackle hate crime and discrimination, and contributes to policy development. We are effective and most of our work is excellent and for a deserving minority.

I will also say that some of the work we do for trans people is good (such as campaigns on mental health). What bothers me is that we can't question any aspect of the policy, we can't invoke reason or common sense.

I want to continue doing the good work for LGB (and some T) people. But in a place where there can be a discussion around trans issues. That place does not exist not only in my organisation but in ANY organisation.

I am also disabled and I understand it’s very difficult to find disabled toilets put literally people keep saying they shouldn’t be in the women’s area so where should they be? Because they are not presenting as men anymore?

Agree

The obvious answer is for biological women to use women's toilets, biological males to use men's toilets, and disabled people to use whatever facilities we've managed to get after decades of struggle.

'Presenting as...' isn't the same as being. A man no longer presenting as a man is still a man, so the men's toilets are the logical place for him to go.

If they have a problem with other men in men's toilets, that's something they need to think about and address and campaign around - with other men.

When men decide for whatever reason to not present as men any more, but to present as women, they should think through issues like this first. Appropriating women's spaces and disabled people's spaces is not an acceptable quick fix for them.

What makes a man a man is being born with male chromosomes, developing as male in the womb and then going through male puberty. His body is organised from the start around the production of male gametes, and this applies whether he ever reproduces or not.

A male is a male is a male, regardless of how he dresses, how he does his hair, whether he's covered in body and facial hair or completely hairless or anything in between, what his interests and personality are, and regardless of his sexual orientation.

The elephant in the room here is that some men are violent and will take any excuse to be violent to others, including noticing some point of difference which they perceive as weakness. This should be a male problem to sort out, instead of which most men have been perfectly happy to pretend not to notice and many of them are actively urging women to budge up and make room for the 'defective' men, who don't qualify as real men, after all.

As I have said umpteen times over the years, why on earth would we be the only mammalian species who can't reliably tell which sex members of our species are at first glance? How would that work in evolutionary terms? What's to be gained by pretending otherwise?