Trapped in the Trans world

[trappedbytrans]

Have done a name change for reasons that will be obvious.

I work in a civil society organisation where being pro-trans is religion. Not a single person is GC and to be honest when I joined I was totally with them. TWAW, TRAHR repeat to fade.

Reality and common sense has gone to me. I'm seeing healthy women in our organisation (staff not clients, we don't have clients as such) having mastectomies and changing pronouns. We even have one person who has to tell us their pronouns each morning as they are likely to change at least once each day.

I am in a very senior role and I could blow the doors off if I quit and went public. The problem is that I would be unemployable in a field where I am a national leader / expert, and I would lose 80% of my friends (we are a very pro-social organisation and network).

So that's it. I'm not here for advice (though that would be welcome!) but more to express my tiredness and frustration at my situation. I guess I'm hoping that more people blow the doors off and eventually I am forced to escape with a fat redundancy package.

We even have one person who has to tell us their pronouns each morning as they are likely to change at least once each day.

That's got to be a mental illness, surely??

I know the ideology is all based on make believe but, as a realist, recommend keeping your head down at work unless you suddenly don't need a wage.

It's dying down and the NHS will be sued to high heaven for the damage to young people in the near future. More people are mainstream at saying it doesn't make sense, so you can no doubt be upfront outside of work.

People aren't born with sex dysphoria. It comes from the culture. Mothers of girls in cultures where they are subjected to FGM feel better when they've been cut, because the girls will be approved to get married and they won't starve to death or be a permanent appendage at the lifelong mercy of their brothers. That doesn't mean that the existence of FGM doesn't hurt and affect me as a woman.

Keir, is that you?

I doubt you'll be the only one there having these feelings, I'm pretty sure we're coming out the other side of all this nonsense. I just hope we hold people accountable for the damage they've caused rather than let them shuffle off into the shadows - around 14,000 children underwent 'sex-change interventions' in the USA alone, many of whom will be now be infertile, unable to have sex or enjoy sexual pleasure, and/or left with permanent physical damage. Plus of course the unimaginable psychological trauma - imagine being a 30-something woman and seeing all your friends settling down and starting families, but you can't because you liked football when you were 14 so the grown-ups sterilised you, sliced off your breasts and mutilated your genitals so badly you can never reach orgasm. If you have long been cheering on this horrific child abuse, you are absolutely culpable. Changing your mind now isn't going to help those kids.

I agree.

When you say voice your authentic self what that means is you want to be able to tell everybody that they’re wrong being trans or how you think it’s wrong that we accept trans people because I’m trying to find out how are you not being able to say that stuff affects you being you When you compare that it’s not even comparable to people who feel utter distress living day-to-day life with the body, they don’t think they belong in

A lot of projection and assumptions there.....

Being GC doesn't mean I don't accept trans people or people who support the trans community.

I have no desire to "tell people they are wrong to be trans".

What I don't accept is that that sex doesn't matter. It does. Giving a trans man medication not tested/off label for women may have serious consequences because of an ideological determination to register them as men on medical records. Putting a male rapist in a female prison is a safeguarding issue to other inmates....I could go on and on.

I worry (though you might find it hard to believe) for trans people that their health (physical and mental) is being put at risk as a result of poorly evidenced clinical practice and interventions.

Being myself at work means being able to take an evidenced based approach even when it butts up against gender ideology (or any ideology) and not being shunned or fired for that.

Also for the record, even Mermaids have ditched "born in the wrong body".

None of us are born in the wrong body. Ever. We are the exact "output" of the combination of our parents egg and spern at the point of conception.

If we were born the wrong sex we would actually be a wholly different person and never existed.

If a man can identify as a woman that eliminates the protections women have for their sex. Single sex spaces such as toilets, changing rooms, rape crisis centres and prisons become meaningless. The reason for these protections is women's safety and privacy. The reason that women particularly need these protections is because sex offenders and voyeurs are overwhelmingly male and victims of sex offences and voyeurism are overwhelmingly female. Males who identify as a woman are just as, if not more, likely to follow male patterns of sexual offending. All men including trans identified men need to stay out of women's spaces for women's safety and privacy.

You say you work in an organisation where not a single person is GC but you are and therefore logic tells you there will be others. They are just as scared as you for their jobs.

I don't think the OP will be coming back.

Likely a post designed to lure in posters to pile on as to how hard/awful it is to work with trans people to post elsewhere on social media for "likes" rather than reflect back on the OP's flawed attitude/approach that doesn't help anyone, the trans community included.

Seen loads like this before.

Not sure at all what you should do because as others have said it means making hard decisions.

Try and find another job, and not every admit why you left.

Leave and then make public reasons why you did.

Stay and start trying to assess just how far the trans culture really is embedded. If you are in a senior role you could raise concerns about the organisation not being properly representative, eg:

• should it start a SEEN network (existing support for doing this so you wouldn't be breaking new ground)
• as the law has confirmed employees have a duty to treat "beliefs worthy of respect" with equal importance, even if there are some who are totally captured, the employer needs to ensure someone who is GC is equally validated and feel able to work there and they should state this publicly

Have a complete breakdown and blame them for not allowing you to express your true self. Seek compensation.

In the end it will come down to a toss up of a safe salary and the possibility of losing that salary if you speak honestly (but you could be the second Maya Forstater!)

There will be people reading the thread who are wondering what the discussion is all about. I try to aim my comments at them, explaining the GC position. It's all sunlight.

Thanks will try to look it up! I can totally imagine how that could happen. Especially in the US.

I also work at a civil society organisation. While the organisation itself isn't entirely captured, I'm being bullied by a non-binary colleague and pals for not believing in gender ideology.

I've heard rumours of a third sector SEEN starting up. It can't come soon enough!

We're not an organisation that focuses on these issues (we're not health related, for example) so this would be odd.

I didn't say that 'I can't stand trans people' or that their trans status affects me. I'm saying that the whole organisation exists to promote trans ideology among other things (it's a broad LGBT sector).

It's not unheard of for this person's pronouns to change during the course of a one hour meeting. Cue fawning and "thanks for telling us, Alex, this is a brave and safe space for you" etc.

Good grief. And how often is Alex being referred to in the third person during these meetings?

I think I'd be inclined to use Alex's name every single time I referred to Alex.

Does Alex actually have time to do anything other than obsess about Alex's pronouns?

So you work in a lgbt sector but are now mkaning about being around tran people that's like me a fatty suddenly hating cakes and working in a god dam bakery find another job then

BreadinCaptivity

“Working in a GI captured organisation means GC people, unlike their GI counterparts cannot (ironically) bring their "authentic" self to work, rather they work in a very non inclusive environment where it's not acceptable to voice biological fact.”

Thank you for articulating this so well.

Some people are being harsh on the OP! It's very very hard to go against the crowd in this kind of situation and face ostracisation. I'd be willing to bet my last dollar, however, that she's not the only one in her organisation who feels like this.

My suggestion would be
a) come out hard as GC at work
b) get fired
c) get a hefty settlement at employment tribunal.

The whole house of cards is collapsing. Ride it out. Watch everyone quietly stop talking about it over the next year or so. If you’re brave enough maybe seek out like minded individuals within the organisation. You will not be the only one. But someone has to blink first. It’s easy for others to say that you should make a stand, not that easy to pay the bills if you lose your job. Or to get another one in your sector in those circumstances.

OP I can't quite believe the Alex one. Surely everyone is misgendering them and then they/she/he is breaking in two because someone got it wrong?

😭